What does trauma bonding with a narcissist mean?
Emotional abuse is extremely hard to grasp when you are stuck in a toxic cycle of fake love when trauma bonding with a narcissist. It could be right in your face but you will still deny it no matter how much of an abusive triangle you are in.
Becoming trauma bonded is complicated as you are held hostage to a Narcissist’s sadistic control of you. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are known to pull trauma bonding off like nobody’s business.
Ultimately, you will crave the highs of the emotional roller coaster that will leave you with lonely illness. Recovery will seem next to impossible to achieve once you are in too deep.
In fact, delusions will begin to set in your mind that you are the actual abuser and not the victim. You won’t admit that you feel you would be nothing without them.
Bonding grows with spending time together, living together, eating together, making love together, having children together, and being together during stress or difficulty. Bad times bond people as strongly as good times, perhaps more so.
Picturing a life without them gives you the shivers, doesn’t it? A frightening feeling you just don’t want to have.
Walking on eggshells is common for you now, it’s not a big deal to just keep them happy.
Being alone from them is something you choose to avoid.
Unfortunately, you are more alone with them than without them. Think about it. You are in love with a person you think is that person. However, this is only a hallucination from the constant mental abuse you receive.
You are trapped in a sadistic spell played by the Narcissist, and it has been maliciously planned against you for a long time. You were chosen by them for a reason, they were jealous of your self-esteem.
Don’t let them continue to batter your self-worth and make you forget who you really are.
You will only become another casualty. Do a little research, you will see there are only victims in their past as they are not capable of truly loving another person.
What is narcissistic victim syndrome?
You can spend all day reading about narcissism and be completely on the wrong track.
There’s simply not enough noise about it for a doctor to actually diagnose you.
With that being said, there’s also too much noise from people that have no idea what it actually means to be triangularly abused by a Narcissist.
Also known as narcissistic abuse syndrome, common symptoms of narcissistic victim syndrome include the following:
- Feeling worthless
- unable to trust people you are usually able to (parents, family members)
- idealizing the Narcissist
- Making excuses for abusive actions by the Narcissist
- Feeling alone
- Unable to perform regular duties
- questioning yourself
Narcissistic abuse syndrome exhibits many of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), to include:
- Intrusive thoughts or memories
- Physical and emotional reactions to reminders of the trauma
- Nightmares and flashbacks (feeling as if the event is happening again)
- Avoidance thoughts, people or situations associated with the trauma
- Negative thoughts about self and world, cynical about people in general
- Blaming self for the trauma, often distorted that does not make sense
- Sense of detachment or isolation from other people
- Difficulty concentrating and, or sleeping
Why does narcissistic trauma bonding occur?
It is a subtle and abusive way for a Narcissist to control their victim, without getting caught.
We all know that exposure is something that would create shame, and this is something that they will go to no end to prevent.
Think twice before exposing your Narcissist, as it will bring out uncontrollable rage. I learned the hard way, so maybe you don’t have too.
This is also important when children are involved because if they can’t get to you, you better believe they are their next target.
You might think that they love their children, so they wouldn’t do something to harm their own flesh and blood. You have seen the love yourself so it’s real.
A child is nothing more than a negotiating tool and a way to make themselves look like a super parent on social media.
However, with the doors closed and nobody watching it is nothing but neglect and emotional abuse by these malicious parents. The children can also believe this is completely normal, so they will not talk about it.
Children are not safe from the trauma bonding themselves, and it will affect them for the rest of their life.
How to get help for trauma bonding with a narcissist
Getting help for narcissistic abuse is not as easy because it involves a lot of patience, setting boundaries, and much more.
You will need support from the people around you. While this is important, it is a very lonely recovery.
People will actually get sick of hearing your same sad stories, simply because a Narcissist can make you look like a cry baby.
They have tools in their belts that you have no chance against. You don’t want the abusive tools they have, you don’t want anything they hold.
They may seem like the confident type, happy and even outgoing when you see them. However, they hate themselves every day. That’s why you were chosen, they didn’t like the way you handle yourself.
They live a life with a mask that is extremely exhausting to put on each and every day. It is a full-time job to do the destruction they cause.
Teaming up with online therapy, we have helped numerous people get back to themselves. It used to be a struggle to get people to go and receive help.
This is understandable because victims tend to stay in their homes, trapped from abusive manipulation and unable to go out in the public.
This all changed when I sent people to online therapy, where they are currently getting help, and progressing from the comfort of their own home. Awesome!
Don’t feel shame, it’s hard to cope with something that is so hard to see from the average person. Take the experience of dealing with these sick and twisted demons and turn it to a positive.
After a couple of sessions, you will finally start to see your recovery. The keyword is, “start” because it doesn’t happen overnight. However, at least you will finally understand that you are not the problem.