With that being said, there are common signs you are a victim of parental alienation syndrome.
Parental alienation is abuse
Parental abduction and alienation is abuse. It is caused by the vindictive actions of a former spouse or partner, family court bias/ignorance of the dangers of alienation. As a result, this is a worldwide epidemic that effects mothers, fathers, children and extended family members and is growing at an alarming rate.
It is a problem plaguing women and men alike in every country throughout the world. ALIENATED explores the seven most experienced emotions people have on their journey through PAS and helps them navigate through.
Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence. Both happen when a person with narcissistic personality disorder feels their self-esteem or self-worth is threatened or injured by another person or an event.
False allegations with child custody in the court system
Nobody believes your pleas for help as the devious tactics against you from an ex-spouse have been going on for a long time.
You are the true victim, but a Narcissist plays that role much better than you regardless of the truth.
You only exhaust your energy as you try to expose these childish techniques while learning how to beat a narcissist in court.
It seems that every day the crafty manipulator is one step ahead of you without even breaking a sweat.
I spent years struggling to protect our daughter from a vicious Mother that will do whatever it takes to get her narcissistic supply.
With that being said, dealing with a narcissist means my ex-spouse had a lawyer that was just as ill with mental disorders herself.
Ultimately, I protected our daughter by destroying a narcissist in court that was doing whatever it took to ruin our happiness.
A beautiful queen that mastered the art of illusion quickly revealed a delusional and twisted human being,
Unfortunately, this dark soul just happened to be my daughter’s own blood.
This brings me to my next resource to help you through your painful divorce.
In order to destroy a narcissist in court, you need to break free from their toxic hold on you.
Personal freedom from a narcissist
Daniel DeVries is a subject matter expert in combatting narcissism. This book will teach you how to completely destroy and break free from the narcissist in your life by applying the 3 D’s: Detach, Dissolve and Disconnect.
Unfortunately, the delusional mindset means I am the enemy. For no reason.
The plan is to destroy me by using our daughter against me and push me out of her life.
False allegations in divorce court
The petty accusations against me looked like compliments compared to the newest that was pushed for child removal over the next few months.
I was suddenly on the defense for the following:
Not only are these just a few of the accusations during a narcissistic rage in court, every single one of these had no proof to back any of it up.
Instead, I was forced to prove none of it was true.
I had to quickly educate myself on how to deal with this demon and the abusive triangle that was suddenly formed against me.
How to beat a Narcissist in divorce court
Child custody in a high-conflict divorce
Dr. Childress provides a brief primer on the features of the narcissistic personality parent that impact the role of legal professionals working with children and families surrounding divorce and child custody issues.
Personality disorders should be studied carefully as your mental health depends on coming out of this with minimal scars.
Luckily, I noticed the frightening narcissistic rage in court before it was too late.
If you have to step in the pit of hell than here are 8 more effective ways to fight the rage and successfully beat a narcissist in court:
1. Learn to control your emotions
A Narcissist know every one of your buttons to push. Petty moves to drive you mad turns bad very quickly.
Losing your cool in court has extreme consequences.
You buy into their twisted mind game to make you look like the crazy one.
I have fallen into this trap personally and it is not easy to get out of.
2. Be the best-dressed person in the court-room
Professional at all times. Consistently.
False allegations will be thrown at you right away. You can prove a lot of them wrong just by simply dressing nicely as first impressions are everything..
3. Stay up to date on family law
If something is not in the law book but a judge says it is, how can you defend it?
Nothing is sweeter than surprising your ex-spouses lawyer with your own knowledge.
Play stupid and only go on offense when it’s important. These are guaranteed wins.
4. Take your time choosing a lawyer that is experienced in personality disorders
Always trust your gut.
Personality disorders are complex, you don’t want to find yourself buried alone in their manipulation.
A Narcissist is likely to have a lawyer that also has a narcissistic personality, so your counsel must be fully prepared.
5. Find a therapist to keep your mental health as strong as possible
If you don’t need a therapist, find something to keep you busy. I found the gym and library gave me a break from the madness.
Online therapy can save you money with quick and easy access to real professionals that can get you through narcissistic abuse.
A Narcissist is likely to have a lawyer that also has a narcissistic personality, so your counsel must be fully prepared.
6. Have continued support from friends and family
If your support is not consistent you are better off without it.
Be careful of, “friends” that are being manipulated against you by a Covert Narcissist.
Sanitize everybody in your circle you don’t need a therapist, find something to keep you busy. I found the gym and library gave me a break from the madness.
7. Document everything.
Subtle child abuse is common with narcissistic rage in court.
A Narcissist will conveniently play victim whenever exposed to their actions.
If abuse is apparent on the children, keep going to the hospital as this shows a pattern that is your best bet in court.
The children will see somebody who cares enough to help them. Minimizing mental and emotional abuse as they grow older.
8. Stay off social media
Distracting and full of bad advice mixed with negative energy.
Fighting in divorce court for custody of your children is exhausting enough.
Nobody wants to hear your drama. If people haven’t dealt with narcissistic rage they won’t understand your pain.
Feeding the narcissistic rage cycle in court
Symptoms become easier to see once you see what you are up against.
It will change the person you thought was fighting for your family
A narcissistic ex-spouse will turn suddenly, even worse than before, to a frightening monster in the blink of an eye
With that being said, the narcissistic personality within the divorce court is a nasty experience against a sneaky covert.
“Adding to the devastation, narcissists never take responsibility for their rage, never apologize for let alone acknowledge their actions. Rather, they project their own irrational attacking behaviour onto the others they have traumatized, typically a scapegoated child or partner, further increasing the abused person’s trauma.”
“In the narcissist’s own eyes, she is always the victim, never the victimizer, and her behaviour is always justified.”
The power of covert narcissist traits can be enough to put you in depression with no signs of it pulling you down as your mental health slowly disintegrates into the size of a tiny grain of sand.
Without a doubt, manipulation and emotional abuse go unnoticed very easily.
Your attempts to prove this against a covert narcissist in divorce court will only work against you unless you build your case long term, showing their patterns.
I bet you wouldn’t have chosen a self-entitled, abusive, manipulative, lying, cheating narcissistic parent to raise a family with, right?
I also ignored way too many red flags that I was dealing with somebody that would not ever come to a reasonable agreement to benefit our child.
Obviously, if I did my research on narcissistic personality disorder, I would have known from the start that a narcissist could care less about our child.
She was only in it to use our child as a weapon to hurt me in any way possible.
Exposing the exaggerated false accusations thrown towards me only opened a deep narcissistic injury that emerged quickly by “winning” in family court
The encounters of narcissistic rage can be so lethal it will ruin you.
Reading up on the proper resources on how to deal with a Narcissist is crucial for you to destroy a narcissist in court.
Further causes of narcissistic rage in court
Former spouse filed for sole custody again and wanted all previous orders terminated.
At this point, I thought everyone would see the selfish acts. I was so very wrong.
The gray rock technique was overlooked as I made risky moves by going in blinded and full of emotions.
A trial date was set again so I am back on the defense as unstable, and a danger to our child.
The glorious narcissistic lawyer against me was licking her chops.
I will never forget the demonic grin across the courtroom from my former spouse.
Thankfully, I have fought against her sole custody, self-involved court stature before.
Unfortunately, a narcissistic personality disorder is not going to stop the rage after I threatened their supreme ego to expose them for who they are.
Rage from a Covert Narcissist
I had 15 Ministry of children and family development calls on me since.
Home visits and investigations were stopped after the 12th malicious call.
Unfortunately, the damage was more than enough to take a toll on me
The image is painted about me to my neighbors, and especially my daughter only made my ex-spouse smile.
Numerous false claims began to come towards me at full speed.
Income assistance fraud
False allegations during custody battles
Narcissistic rage ultimately made me defeat the covert narcissist in their own kingdom.
because the multiple calls to the ministry only made me stronger, and the narcissist became much weaker as she saw me take no sweat to the accusations.
If you are not faded by these cold souls, they will not be able to hide their true selves.
This is the best way to expose a narcissist for who they really are.
Gaslighting parents and Broken trust in crazy relationships
What is psychological abuse from gaslighting?
Whether it is gaslighting parents or just mind-playing in general, this form of psychological abuse is extremely damaging in a narcissistic relationship.
Have you ever felt that you were right about something, but even with facts right in front of your face you slowly begin to doubt the obvious?
You are usually pretty confident in your opinions, but suddenly you can’t trust anything around you that used to make sense.
You are feeling confused and out of character.
Are you goingcrazy? It’s possible.
Or you are a victim of gaslighting, a common part of the narcissistic abuse cycle that bring these kinds of side effects.
Thrivetalk gives the following definition about one of many forms of abuse that can easily go unnoticed:
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic in which a person, to gain power and control, plants seeds of uncertainty in the victim. The self-doubt and constant skepticism slowly and meticulously cause the individual to question their reality.
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic in which a person, to gain power and control, plants seeds of uncertainty in the victim. The self-doubt and constant skepticism slowly and meticulously cause the individual to question their reality.
With that being said, gaslighting parents love to use parental alienation on their children because it’s easy it is to have kids believe every word they are told.
Gaslighting in dysfunctional families
A narcissistic personality known as a covert narcissist is common with a gaslighting abusive parent.
Common signs to look for:
Playing the victim but being the abuser
Form family members to help feel and aid their crazy sympathy tactics
Makes the actual victim believe they are the abuser
Diminishes their targets mental health until there is no strength left to even think for themselves
It is extremely hard to convince somebody in a gaslighting relationship, or has gaslighting parents, that they are in this toxic abuse.
This is because they are in a trauma bonding stage, and breaking the bond usually requires medical assistance.
Reality of a gaslighting co parent
What is often a common problem in divorce court?
Power and control. This is especially true if you are dealing with a parent child that will do whatever it takes to get what they want.
However, gaslighting parents do not want to feel any kind of shame towards them.
You will get to see them show nothing but love out in the public, but verbally abusive behind closed doors.
Spite goes hand in hand with narcissistic parenting.
Children being psychologically abused will happen as a way to get back at the other parent. My daughter’s narcissistic Mother religiously does this.
If you are not careful, you could be joining in on the abuse without even knowing it.
Children are not able to differentiate between the right and wrong of a narcissistic parent. They only know them as a good person.
Signs of gaslighting
Consistently saying, “I’m sorry” to avoid hostility, even though you know yourself you are the one being mistreated.
Over a period of time, the emotional abuse will eventually make you think you are the actual abuser.
I have been dealing with a narcissistic mother for a long time, and I know each and every manipulative tactic with this form of psychological abuse.
There are terms for individual manipulative techniques and signs of bad behavior to look for:
Withholding narcissistic gaslighting abuse
Refusing to listen or share their emotions
“Don’t start that conversation again”
Throwing the victim off the actual subject
“Think about when you didn’t remember things correctly last time.”
“You thought that last time and you were wrong.”
Blocking and Diverting
Another form of throwing victims off the subject when the gaslighter sees they are beginning to lose A narcissistic triangulation can be formed in their defence
“You’re hurting me on purpose”
Making the victim believe that their thoughts and feelings are not important
“That’s more important than us?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t have to take this”
“You’re making that up”
How to deal with gaslighting
It’s not easy dealing with the manipulations, nor is it easy to watch.
Gaslighting is the practice of psychologically manipulating someone into questioning their own sanity―and if you are reading this, you may be all-too-familiar with this form of emotional abuse. The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook is a uniquely interactive method of rebuilding your self-esteem and allowing yourself to heal from an abusive relationship.
I have been using the gray rock method for years, and it has proven success!
With millions of flying monkeys and a high opinion of themselves, a Narcissist can always find players with a crowd to watch, especially when a narcissistic triangulation is formed.
However, you don’t have to play. You don’t even have to watch.
“Grey Rock is a technique that allows one to take a step back and simply observe instead of fending off or goading into the unwanted attention. Your responses are dull, boring and mundane.”
“Becoming a part of the scenery allows targets to camouflage or fade out. Instead of refusing to deal, you allow contact but only give monotonous responses so that the toxic person eventually must go elsewhere for their fix of drama and emotional mayhem.”
Consequently, I knew that the narcissistic rage was right around the corner for my awful actions of not tending to my former spouse’s selfish needs.
Luckily, I was able to avoid severe abuse of our daughter’s mental health.
Co-parenting interactions should be uninteresting
Children need both parents to communicate for their mental health to be stable. However, it’s obvious that narcissist parenting is just not that simple.
Drama is what keeps a Psychopath, Sociopath, and Narcissist on in life with their delusional mindset, it is much like breathing for them.
They crave it.
It is also their main supply of fuel from you, because of your overreaction to whatever bully game they feel like playing that day.
Consistently minimizing this behavior is crucial. Unfortunately, there will be roadblocks from complex things like toxic triangulation along the way
Gray rock method examples
It may seem like such an easy task to be dull and boring to a person that has made your life a living hell, but it is very easy to be broken.
A Narcissist will not let you go that easy. Whether it be an email or Facebook message – Narcissism can get under your skin.
You will be pushed to the limit of contact many times, but it’s up to you to make sure they lose interest
Here are a few gray rock method examples:
“May we switch the child drop off time to 2:00 today? I’m running late”
“Please don’t forget the child’s lunch bag today”
A Narcissist will always engage to somehow create drama and push every button on your body. Patience is not the only thing when learning how to deal with a narcissist. Dealing with an abuser will frustrate you day after day.
Your response will be very straight-forward and extremely boring. Such as:
With that being said, it is an extremely dangerous mental state of mind which will ultimately lead to further turns on the narcissistic abuse cycle involving your children after a relationship.
From my experience, it all becomes torture. This is the called the unforgiving and malicious narcissistic rage.
Healing from abuse
Because of their disordered sense of self, the narcissists are prone to engage in several actions that are damaging to those around them. These include bullying, demeaning comments, and other forms of emotional abuse that you need to recover from.
I spent a lot of wasted years looking for answers on how to use the best narcissist revenge tactics on my daughter’s mentally ill Mother.
Similarly, I have noticed there are numerous mislead articles stating that the narcissistic injury meaning is that the victim is being hurt and abused by narcissistic abuse symptoms.
This is incorrect information and could be dangerous if used around narcissists.
Psychoanalysts Freud and Kohut | History of narcissistic injuries
Where Freudian concentrated on the “primary injury” in childhood, Heinz Kohut, also from the psychoanalytic background, developed theories about the “secondary” injuries which afflict narcissists on a day to day basis.
Kohut followed the teachings of Freudian, but soon began to argue a few of his points on how these injuries are so traumatizing.
He believed that shame repeats the experience of injury, this may explain why even the slightest sign of failure will set a Narcissist off into a delusional state of mind.
The experience of being told they are never good enough, flashbacks from a disappointed parent.
Criticism of a narcissistic mother
Simply put, a pathological Narcissist is a person with a narcissistic personality disorder that obsesses over themselves for the pursuit of their precious narcissistic supply that gives them the feeling of emotional control.
This means they are extremely codependent on others to cater to their daily demands, and if these needs aren’t met then narcissistic rage and injury come quickly after.
Grudges after a relationship are held for a long time, and let me tell you from experience that they play very dirty.
I also had to fill my mind with proper knowledge about narcissism because I would not have learned otherwise.
With that being said, it made me become the Narcissist’s nightmare.
Learning the safest action of how to inflict narcissistic injury on a narcissist without the aftermath of heartbreaking child abuse.
Although, mirrors still only showed the battered meaning we all don’t see in each other deep down inside.
Healing my family and helping people going through the same chaotic experience is my goal.
Researching and studying is key to protecting your children from the painful narcissistic abuse symptoms.
Toxic narcissistic relationships when children are involved
Narcissist parenting can be an emotional roller coaster, I found this out as my daughter became the new punching bag caused by childhood wounds that I unknowingly dug into.
The process of understanding the difference between mental disorders and family violence will take a lot of patience when understanding how to divorce a narcissist
You could possibly have the best evidence against the malicious parent syndrome but still lose a few divorce-related court battles.
You cannot give up.
Keep your head high and smile for your children to help them through this complicated experience of family violence.
I recommend getting help as you go through the fight against malicious mother syndrome, and affordable online therapy right from your computer can even be used for your best chance in court.
If your mental health is needing a boost, I highly recommend online therapy first!
With that being said, here are some effective ways that I myself have used to fight parental alienation:
1. Don’t miss any visitation time with your children
Life gets busy, we all know that Unfortunately, every day that is not spent with your seeds is another pull of your children against you.
Every second is critical in this battle
parenting with a narcissist is something that you will learn to do in spite of the lack of care from the other side The focus must be always on not hurting your children.
2. Document everything
Use email rather than text messages as the court uses email as a proper paper trail
Nasty messages sent to you? Put that in your documentation Refusing contact? Document Sometimes looking through older emails can help you find a pattern that you can put together to prove how it is affecting your children
Don’t be petty You should only present clear abusive actions against the other parent, therapists showing any mental health damage to yourself is also accepted
3. Don’t join in on the negative talk
It’s hard to keep your cool when alienation is right in your face, but you must provide a place of protection for your children They hate hearing negativity all the time so show them how good it feels to be positive.
Tell your children how much you love them every chance you can People with malicious mother syndrome will not show real love so this is an easy steal for you as they will see the difference almost immediately
4. Enforce court orders whenever they are being breached
Police enforced orders are great documentation for the court, a fantastic way to show the pattern of parental alienation caused by malicious mother syndrome.
Be careful of unforgiving rage that could start because of this. With that being said, use it to your advantage when they lose their cool.
5. Don’t trust anybody
You might think you have a great lawyer or support worker that is finally helping you out. However, the fact of the matter is that no judge, lawyer, social worker, psychologist or court mediator knows or cares about your child and parental alienation.
Educate yourself on the effects of malicious parent syndrome and don’t trust anybody to study it as much as you would
Take clear signs of alienation against your child to the news stations and post them online Call out all the names involved to create traction to make noise about the emotional abuse symptoms you see around your child.
6. Never give up
Only you will be able to help your children. You will likely feel like you are standing alone.
To start, unlike physical abuse, psychological and mental harm caused by parental alienation doesn’t leave scars on the skin.
However, they hurt just as much if not more to alienated parents.
The alienation definition is pretty self-explanatory:
Parental alienation is when one parent discredits the other parent to a child or children the two share. For example, perhaps mom tells her child that their dad doesn’t love them or want to see them. Or a dad tells his child that their mom prefers her new family (and kids with a new partner) to them.
Signs of a rejected parent could start slow and build up unnoticed, or a relationship with the child turn sour very fast.
It will be interesting to see how lawyers and judges adjust to a new “recognized” form of child abuse targeted at alienated parents.
Will use false allegations in court to put a protection order between the alienating parent, yourself, and children. You will have to remove it and this will take time. If children are being alienated it needs to be dealt with immediately
Your children start calling you by your first name. This is also a way of putting your authority down. Slow jabs to your relationship by having your alienated child disrespect you.
Children may side with the favored parent and refuse visitation. A Child will likely talk a lot about the alienating parent and mention past hostility or disputes you may have had with your former spouse.
The alienating parent won’t communicate about medical appointments, behavior issues at school, etc.
Uses power and control on the alienated child’s personal belongings. They will send the child in older clothes that they have no use for anymore and will not allow children to bring any toys to your house
Involving schools, daycare, children’s parents and any relationship you have with smear campaigns so they look down on you.
Coaches child to call a step-parent “Daddy” or “Mommy”
What is parental alienation syndrome?
Common signs of somebody suffering from this syndrome are:
Attempts to punish the targeted parent though alienating their children from the other parent and involving others or the courts in actions to separate parent and child
Seeks to deny children visitation and communication with the other parent and involvement in the child’s school or extra-curricular activities;
Lies to their children and others repeatedly and may be involved in criminal activity
Narcissistic spouses are increasingly using support workers by their side in court to play the victim with parental alienation right in their corner.
Parental alienation and the impact on mental health
Secondly, the physical abuse of women is a disadvantage. The physical strength of the two is much different.
Obviously, with the increase of covert narcissist traits in guardianship cases involving children, both genders are losing.
It’s not uncommon to see greed, power, entitlement and more with such malicious parents.
Unfortunately, I have years battling delusional minds that have shown me the true meaning of narcissism
“I came in and she battered me. There was bleeding. My nose was bleeding, my shirt was ripped. When things had calmed down, she said: ‘Would you like a coffee?’ She said: ‘I’ll make us a coffee, you change your shirt’. “
For the record, parental alienation has always been part of family law. I have shown and fought for it but judges choose to ignore it:
“Section 4AB Family Law Act, 1975: Definition of family violence etc. (1) For the purposes of this Act, family violence means violent, threatening or other behavior by a person that coerces or controls a member of the person’s family (the family member ), or causes the family member to be fearful.
•(2) Examples of behavior that may constitute family violence include (but are not limited to): •(i) preventing the family member from making or keeping connections with his or her family, friends or culture”
Lastly, it is not about Father rights or Women’s rights. It’s about human rights. Mothers to Fathers, Grandparents and all extended families.
Nobody should have to suffer any kind of abuse. Our children are our future, and it’s time we work together. Hate will never help our children build their character for the future.
Keeping silent is just as much harm. We have to see how Battered Women’s Support Services rearrange their intake process; to not help the parental alienation family court is slowly starting to recognize.
Is it possible you are alienated from your children with no consequences on the abuser?
Why is it that the people chosen to protect our children from emotional harm continue to ignore parental alienation?
It seems that children are on the rise of having mental health issues because of the chaos of trying to work with narcissistic parents.
Judges at family court trials will tell you that they think there is alienation happening but quickly turn a blind eye.
My former spouse and her flying monkeys, a former daycare, have tried numerous times to alienate me with an abusive triangulation.
False accusations, brainwashing, and manipulation on our daughter was the toughest part of my journey.
Fortunately, there is a huge breakthrough by the World Health Organization which has started a long-overdue new form of child abuse to finally be recognized.
Yes, finally parental alienation and you can read more about the story on CTV news
Surviving Parental Alienation is an excellent book for resources that stopped child abuse on my daughter.
You can’t feel at ease or relaxed in their presence. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, waiting for the next time they lash out at you. You realize you feel a sense of relief when they aren’t there.
You feel like whatever you do, it’s not enough. You’re manipulated so that your flaws and vulnerabilities are exploited and used against you at every opportunity. You begin to feel inadequate, unlovable, and like everything is all your fault.
Narcissism is an intricate, well-constructed series of traits wrapped up in one mental illness that is extremely damaging to all who cross the paths of a narcissist, especially their lovers.
At the end of the day, we all put a label on everything just to put a bandaid on the situation and now we have a generation that has no family values.
I strongly believe that everything can be pushed past mentally if you swallow your pride and think of your children.
Ignore the “power” trips and stop feeding a Narcissist their abusive supply.
Heal your scars from the abuse.
Ultimately, avoiding inflicting narcissistic injury and malicious narcissistic rage is two things I wish I had done.
A victims road to healing the narcissistic abuse takes time
With a few cases of recovery, I am not taking chances with our daughter still in the line of chaos.
Understanding the difference between a Narcissist and Sociopath traits is key to your situation.
If my ex-spouse suddenly focuses on our child instead of what hidden scars she can put on our child for the week she has her, I might have hope to bring our family back.
However, as of right now the Gray Rock Method is what protects my child from the subtle abuse.
From my personal experience, a narcissistic Mother does not and will not ever love their children.
I will not take chances on “hope” as I will continue to protect myself and my daughter from the horrible narcissistic abuse symptoms family court chooses to ignore for their own dirty, and filthy money.
Understanding the difference between sociopath traits relative to your situation is crucial for protecting your child from the sadistic, and cold actions of a narcissistic personality.
If you feel you are dealing with somebody that has a mix of traits associated with two different disorders, it’s my advice to read up on a narcissistic Sociopath.
Research of narcissistic personality
More research on mental disorders associated with narcissism is crucial.
It is extremely destructive and it is ruining our society as a whole.
Masking the true battered meaning as the delusions enable people to use subtle parental alienation to create child abuse.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in every area of the narcissist’s life: from work and friendships to family and love relationships. Melinda Smith, M.A. – HealthGuide.org
Narcissistic personality disorder has its earliest roots in ancient Greek mythology. According to the myth, Narcissus was a handsome and proud young man. Upon seeing his reflection on the water for the first time, he became so enamored that he could not stop gazing at his own image. He remained at the water’s edge until he eventually wasted to death.
During the 1950s and 1960s, psychoanalysts Otto Kernberg and Heinz Kohut helped spark more interest in narcissism. In 1967, Kernberg described “narcissistic personality structure.” He developed a theory of narcissism that suggested three major types: normal adult narcissism, normal infantile narcissism, and pathological narcissism that can be of different types.
Adding to the above, in 1980 the narcissistic personality was finally recognized in the third edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder and criteria were established for its diagnosis.
However, very little has changed since that time.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to diagnose or even point fingers at somebody for the abuse.
Not only is it subtle, but it’s also not taken seriously.
Different types of narcissistic personality
Not only have I experienced how delusional people with this mental disorder can be, but I have also experienced the child abuse that comes with it.
The system is unlikely to help you, and you will only waste money on lawyers pretending to care.
Protecting you and your children from the covert narcissist traits
Lastly, I had to learn the hard way of going about these demons.
My former spouse was able to have a lot of her flying monkeys stand before the courtroom and make false accusations against me.
Subtle parental alienation from my child’s daycare and even false ministry calls to paint a bad picture. Once you have wiped up all the blood off of yourself from being kicked down for no reason, it won’t take long before your children start being abused.
Why? Because you exposed the Narcissist for who they are, and you are not feeding them their sadistic narcissistic supply addiction anymore. Now you must receive a delusional payback through your children.
Contact us now if you are going through this, because minimizing and pinpointing the abuse is best to start early.
A manipulating, bitter, spiteful, and out-of-control Narcissist will do anything to keep you from your flesh and blood.
They will do it with a smile. Don’t wait for them to change, it’s not in their plans to get back with an ex
Protect your mental health, and listen to your children when they tell you something is wrong You are not dealing with anybody normal.
A narcissistic parent is somebody that has a narcissistic personality disorder, and possessively close to their children in the most damaging ways you can possibly think of.
Narcissistic mother syndrome is exactly that, and the need for power at the expense of the children is tragic.
Control becomes much more apparent to children when the Father has already been a victim of parental alienation, but in the public eye nobody would ever expect any kind of narcissistic mother abuse.
Children only know a parent to be doing things the right way. Often at young ages, it is very easy for a child to follow in her footsteps as narcissistic children when they are raised by narcissists.
With that being said, only a few will be able to break the emotional manipulation and not become a victim to the treacherous narcissistic mother control themselves.
I find it hard to sympathize with a Father that left his children because “she was crazy” when I’m on the battlefield protecting my daughter every day.
There has to be somebody to teach them a healthy mindset because each and every second away from the abusive narcissistic Mother syndrome is critical for their mental health.
I can’t say it will be easy, often times you will be abused by narcissistic triangulation who join in on the abuse and cater to the abuse
“What toxic parents all have in common is their inability to provide their children with a safe, nurturing, and loving environment. If they are narcissistically abusive, they are without empathy and sometimes even conscience. This type of ruthless behavior has a damaging impact on our early development as well as the way we navigate the world as adults.”
“Female narcissists do not grow out of their childhood aggression; eerily enough, they evolve into even more effective aggressive behaviors in adulthood, using their manipulative tactics to serve their selfish agendas and to exploit others.”
How to protect a child from narcissistic mother syndrome
A major factor in minimizing and ultimately ending the abuse is a ”no contact” with the abuser. This works great.
How can you be abused if you have no contact with the source of pain?
The problem with cutting off communication in a court dispute means you will have to stop seeing your children. Not only stop seeing your children, but they will also be brainwashed against you.
You might not care, but the abandonment only adds to the problem with these disorders in the future. The narcissistic mother syndrome is not easy to understand when trauma bonding is taking the best of you.
The Gray Rock Method has been the best way to protect my child from an abusive narcissistic mother.
With that being said, narcissistic abuse symptoms vary depending on each situation. Likewise, going no contact is the best way to go if no children are involved. I envy you if you are only protecting yourself from this unfortunate disorder.
Narcissistic Mother syndrome – dealing with a sociopath ex
If your manipulative former spouse suggests to not go through court, I recommend you do not agree to this
If you are absolutely sure you are dealing with narcissism or any disorder of this level, I highly suggest you do not take this tempting offer.
It’s understandable you want this person to get better.
However, people also forget how cold a Narcissist can be. If you want your child’s mental health to be stable you need to read this vital information.
With that being said, co-parenting with somebody that has narcissistic mother syndrome is exhausting.
I am now in a comfortable place to share my experiences of what you should do and absolutely should not do.
What if you don’t have a court agreement?
A family must be completely civil towards each other and have a huge amount of trust in each other if an agreement is not through the court.
This is because:
The abuser can move far enough away to alienate you.
Completely disappear without police enforcement
Start a court order in a different province where you don’t exist
If you are a Father: a false allegation can have you arrested much easier than if you have an official order.
The narcissistic mother will go for retroactive child support for any amount, at any time. It is irrelevant to the fact you, ”agreed” to an amount that you paid to her.
The judge could look at that as a ”gift” to them.
Information about your child will be harder to receive as court documents about a child will always be taken into consideration.
Of course, I will explain further below when it was soon shown to me that court documents won’t even matter in a complex triangulation abuse battle between parents and third parties.
the backlash from narcissistic mother syndrome
The following things will suddenly happen to purposely throw you off:
You are going to see the person you once knew, and they might even apologize; a relief that the family can finally put themselves back together
If apologies are thrown your way, throw them right back…in a nice way. There are never good intentions for you when it comes to a Narcissist unless it benefits them of course.
I believe that a narcissistic Mother is just who they are now, and you must accept that fact. They are geniuses at what they do, and I back my statement up even more now. Move on
A narcissistic Mother will get their ”fuel” from an ex-spouse with ease in family court. The child at this point is in a dangerous position. You do not want to fall deep into this sadistic trap of ”parent vs parent” circus at family court.
Rise of shared parenting cases in court with narcissistic mothers
It’s a true fact: shared parenting has been the outcome of more family cases as of late. Unfortunately, the genius and hidden narcissistic personality disorder has once again crashed the party
A narcissistic Mother will use a 50/50 shared agreement against you in a million ways. They have perfected subtle parental alienation to cause damage behind the scenes.
I have had every single narcissistic manipulation against me in court. I will start with the most lethal way as it has ruined too many involved parents, and I myself lost parenting time because of the unforgiving “Ex Parte” order.
How to deal with the ex-parte order in court
I have been a victim of this malicious order myself. It is highly abused.
Of course, it will be used by a narcissistic Mother to alienate the other parent as it is a one-sided order that can have you arrested and charged without notice.
These orders by definition are ‘without notice’ orders. This means that your spouse will have no idea that you are going to Court to get an order against them. Many spouses take advantage of this procedure because they know their ex does not know about them and cannot defend against them.
You may have this order against you right now. If you even slightly think you may, don’t contact the ex-spouse.
With that being said, you must protect yourself from being a victim of such an unconstitutional order.
Here are the most important things to note :
Any female can get this order just by showing any sort of ”fear” to a judge.
A judge almost always signs this order. Why? because a narcissistic Mother is a good actor, but how hard can it really be?
If you contact the abuser directly or indirectly in any way you will have a warrant out for your arrest.
Don’t bother with your proof until you prove your innocence months later, once released.
Get a criminal lawyer immediately.
Further narcissistic Mother syndrome court trouble
Manipulations, tantrums, and childish acts never end. You must identify your nightmare as it is the only way to protect yourself from completely losing your mind, and ultimately losing your children.
It is best to just get used to the games that will be played to get a rise out of you. For example:
Showing up to drop off the child late
Not showing up with the child at drop off at all
Court harassment (excessive applications with short notice)
Child care providers may help alienate you from being involved with your children. This is where I first learned about the complex narcissistic triangulation. It was not a happy time for myself or my daughter.
Daycare will likely side with the abuser, as they have been brainwashed behind your back for a long time.
Child care providers will also not follow court orders, regardless of any court order. They may abuse your child behind closed doors, just because they can. A circle of applications is what you will find yourself in, as you quietly are pushed out of the duties for your children.
Not answering emails, texts, or any message regarding your children
If you are not receiving a response after two emails, texts, or phone calls then stop and file court papers.
Three or more messages will be turned on you as, ”harassment” and if they have a lawyer they will join in on the bullying.
Document everything, and gradually rise to a 50/50 agreement.
This will be your time to strike on the abuse, as you will have a footprint as a Father in the system
How to protect your child from narcissistic mother syndrome
Everything mentioned I have personally been through.
False allegations resulting in criminal charges
I took a child care provider to court for abuse and neglect
alienation was attempted on me from all angles.
You have to make sure to focus on your children’s mental health instead of the other parent, no matter how hard it may be.
It can go sideways very quickly if children do not have the proper path to walk on.
You can only blame yourself if mental issues suddenly come to light as your children grow up, because they won’t tell you that you are hurting them with every word they hear about the narcissistic mother
I made a lot of mistakes on the journey to bring my daughter home, but she is finally home. After protecting my daughter from all the abusive narcissistic Mother personalities, our bond is so much bigger.
I can finally thank my chosen Narcissist for something. Just kidding, why would I want to feed the abuse? I learned a long time ago that my child’s narcissistic Mother will not change. Your female narcissist friend won’t change either.
Patience and understanding of this disorder are crucial for my daughter to learn how to protect herself from her own flesh and blood.
I was able to do it while she had no voice, and I hope you can take this information and save your children from abuse as well.
You don’t have to do it alone either sign up for online therapy and get your support now!
A relationship with a Narcissist will begin as the honeymoon phase where you will believe you have found your soulmate.
Unfortunately, the good sex and love-bombing will slowly deplete as the realization comes that you are stuck in a narcissistic abuse cycle.
You will likely have gone through many narcissistic abuse recovery attempts with cycles of abuse before you finally get out of the sadistic spell of denial that has been maliciously planned by your former spouse’s gaslighting.
Promises of a future together, your mutual likes and dislikes and a similar childhood between the two of you might seem like it’s too good to be true.
Let me be the first to tell you…
This is all just an image of themselves that is painted perfectly just for you. It’s all used to lure you in for a big kick in the arse.
It’s not personal. If it wasn’t you, it would be a picture painted for somebody else’s likes and dislikes.
Unfortunately, you got yourself sucked into the nasty void of a good for nothing Narcissist, didn’t you?
Much like the narcissistic rage cycle that is at the end stages, it’s frightening to see and it all comes together as an abusive pattern.
In my experience, my co-parenting nightmare used many of the same tactics that we shared various things in common such as:
Starting a family
We have nothing in common. The mask that was put on was played so well, I still have a hard time believing she was able to play such a good game at luring me in with lies.
Having a child was her best way of taking tiny jabs at me for life, and I can tell you she did not want to have a child. The child is nothing more than a negotiating tool and a source of fuel to keep her going.
If you have a child, I am so sorry. I know people that have children with a narc, and their children are in danger. So, if you have a child and your with a narc, or you’ve been with a narc, Run, run and hide and protect yourself, protect your child because it’s hard enough for the adult that I watched in Youtube to have had this experience but to me I think its the children that I hear more, more and more stories of how their parents turned them into something for the rest of their lives.
With that being said, here are the stages of a narcissistic abuse cycle that comes in every relationship with a Narcissist.
Idealize stage of narcissistic abuse
The very first stage to becoming a victim of the narcissistic abuse cycle, and it’s very hard to see it at first. This is especially true depending on the type of narcissist you are dealing with. Besides love-bombing and great sex, here are some more typical red flags and sayings of being idealized in a toxic relationship:
We have so much in common
You are the most beautiful
You are nothing like my exes
I got treated badly by my exes as well
We are soul mates
I don’t know what I would do without you
Keep in mind that these do not automatically make yourself in a narcissistic abuse relationship, but these terms will be used on you numerous times.
You will have to take a step back and look at the true intentions of this person.
It’s very easy to believe you have found the one, but it’s a lot harder to recover from the painful experience from narcissistic abuse syndrome
You were picked by this soul-sucking leech because you had empathy and compassion, and a Narcissist needs this on the daily.
It’s important to look at their past victims, the poor exes they talked so badly about might not be so evil.
Devalue stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle
The second stage is when it seems to knock you off guard, and your mind can’t fully understand what is happening.
This is because you are just coming out of the extasy stage of an amazing relationship.
You will be hit hard, but not quite as hard as the next stage.
Devaluing in a relationship can take many different forms so it’s hard to point exactly how it will be done to you.
With that being said, it always starts as a little joke here and there but will then gain momentum and come full swing.
Opening childhood wounds can happen in this stage when you don’t tend to their needs. Seeking revenge can put you in an even worse bind if you don’t act the proper way.
Nonetheless, here are the common things that will happen in the devalue stage:
sex comes to a halt
everything you do irritates them
things you used to enjoy they hate
attention and admiration is gone
not invited to events
they become cold and distant
These will all come slowly, and you will be hesitant to react to it.
By now, they have already brainwashed you into thinking this is normal and/or it is because of something you have done.
The final, coldest stage of them all is up next
Discard in the narcissistic abuse cycle
The final stage in this toxic relationship cycle is when you are discarded by the Narcissist. Thrown out. Ditched
You will suddenly be tossed away like you never existed, and this is the part that some people don’t even recover from.
Because of the emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs your brain just can’t understand the concept of reality.
You will be begging for them back because you thought that they were the only one for you.
Unfortunately, they are long gone.
They were over you a while ago, and you are now at the perfect place for the Narcissist..on your hands and knees as they have already jumped onto their next victim for narcissistic supply.
They are bored with you, and you have given them all that they needed.
It was never about you, it has always been about them.
At last, here are the common things to see in a cold discard in a narcissistic abuse cycle:
Being discarded is one of the coldest moments you will likely experience in your life, and it can change you for the worst or the better.
Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t even realize that they were abused and don’t ever end up recovering.
Narcissistic abuse recovery
Recovering from a narcissistic abuse cycle is not easy, and the scars can be so subtle that your friends and family might shrug you off.
People will be sick of hearing you talk about it to the point you will once again start thinking you are going crazy.
This means the Narcissist still has a stronghold on your mental health.
It’s better to recover now instead of later because I have seen the strongest minds fall to this torture.
The best thing to realize is that it happened to you because of the empathy you have. Don’t let a Narcissist take this from you.
Instead, kill them with kindness.
Let them go, they are dead to you as you are to them. Every moment you think about them, think about the real person they are and turn it into a positive.
I guarantee with a little practice you will never fall victim to another Narcissist, and your next partner will be the one you imagined once upon a time…
Instead, they will be the real thing.
I know it will be tough to love again, but take it slow. Take your time and observe people so you never get caught in the narcissistic abuse cycle again. Over time you will be back to yourself and become picky about who treats you like you should be treated.
Don’t stay in denial. Spread the word about your experiences and be happy you got away because the trails of victims from a Narcissist is heartbreaking.
What doesn’t kill you makes you 1000x times stronger.
Becoming trauma bonded is complicated as you are held hostage to a Narcissist’s sadistic control of you.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are known to pull trauma bonding off like nobody’s business.
Ultimately, you will crave the highs of the emotional roller coaster that will leave you with lonely illness.
Recovery will seem next to impossible to achieve once you are in too deep. In fact, delusions will begin to set in your mind that you are the actual abuser and not the victim.
You won’t admit that you feel you would be nothing without them.
Bonding grows with spending time together, living together, eating together, making love together, having children together, and being together during stress or difficulty. Bad times bond people as strongly as good times, perhaps more so. – AbuseAndRelationships
Picturing a life without them gives you the shivers, doesn’t it? A frightening feeling you just don’t want to have.
Walking on eggshells is common for you now, it’s not a big deal to just keep them happy.
Being alone from them is something you choose to avoid.
Unfortunately, you are more alone with them than without them. Think about it.
You are in love with a person you think is that person. However, this is only a hallucination from the constant mental abuse you receive.
You are trapped in a sadistic spell played by the Narcissist, and it has been maliciously planned against you for a long time.
You were chosen by them for a reason, they were jealous of your self-esteem.
Don’t let them continue to batter your self-worth and make you forget who you really are.
You will only become another casualty. Do a little research, you will see there are only victims in their past as they are not capable of truly loving another person.
What is narcissistic victim syndrome?
You can spend all day reading about narcissism and be completely on the wrong track.
There’s simply not enough noise about it for a doctor to actually diagnose you.
With that being said, there’s also too much noise from people that have no idea what it actually means to be triangularly abused by a Narcissist.
Also known as narcissistic abuse syndrome, common symptoms of narcissistic victim syndrome include the following:
unable to trust people you are usually able to (parents, family members)