With that being said, there are common signs you are a victim of parental alienation syndrome.
Parental alienation is abuse
Parental abduction and alienation is abuse. It is caused by the vindictive actions of a former spouse or partner, family court bias/ignorance of the dangers of alienation. As a result, this is a worldwide epidemic that effects mothers, fathers, children and extended family members and is growing at an alarming rate.
It is a problem plaguing women and men alike in every country throughout the world. ALIENATED explores the seven most experienced emotions people have on their journey through PAS and helps them navigate through.
Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence. Both happen when a person with narcissistic personality disorder feels their self-esteem or self-worth is threatened or injured by another person or an event.
False allegations with child custody in the court system
Nobody believes your pleas for help as the devious tactics against you from an ex-spouse have been going on for a long time.
You are the true victim, but a Narcissist plays that role much better than you regardless of the truth.
You only exhaust your energy as you try to expose these childish techniques while learning how to beat a narcissist in court.
It seems that every day the crafty manipulator is one step ahead of you without even breaking a sweat.
I spent years struggling to protect our daughter from a vicious Mother that will do whatever it takes to get her narcissistic supply.
With that being said, dealing with a narcissist means my ex-spouse had a lawyer that was just as ill with mental disorders herself.
Ultimately, I protected our daughter by destroying a narcissist in court that was doing whatever it took to ruin our happiness.
A beautiful queen that mastered the art of illusion quickly revealed a delusional and twisted human being,
Unfortunately, this dark soul just happened to be my daughter’s own blood.
This brings me to my next resource to help you through your painful divorce.
In order to destroy a narcissist in court, you need to break free from their toxic hold on you.
Personal freedom from a narcissist
Daniel DeVries is a subject matter expert in combatting narcissism. This book will teach you how to completely destroy and break free from the narcissist in your life by applying the 3 D’s: Detach, Dissolve and Disconnect.
Unfortunately, the delusional mindset means I am the enemy. For no reason.
The plan is to destroy me by using our daughter against me and push me out of her life.
False allegations in divorce court
The petty accusations against me looked like compliments compared to the newest that was pushed for child removal over the next few months.
I was suddenly on the defense for the following:
Not only are these just a few of the accusations during a narcissistic rage in court, every single one of these had no proof to back any of it up.
Instead, I was forced to prove none of it was true.
I had to quickly educate myself on how to deal with this demon and the abusive triangle that was suddenly formed against me.
How to beat a Narcissist in divorce court
Child custody in a high-conflict divorce
Dr. Childress provides a brief primer on the features of the narcissistic personality parent that impact the role of legal professionals working with children and families surrounding divorce and child custody issues.
Personality disorders should be studied carefully as your mental health depends on coming out of this with minimal scars.
Luckily, I noticed the frightening narcissistic rage in court before it was too late.
If you have to step in the pit of hell than here are 8 more effective ways to fight the rage and successfully beat a narcissist in court:
1. Learn to control your emotions
A Narcissist know every one of your buttons to push. Petty moves to drive you mad turns bad very quickly.
Losing your cool in court has extreme consequences.
You buy into their twisted mind game to make you look like the crazy one.
I have fallen into this trap personally and it is not easy to get out of.
2. Be the best-dressed person in the court-room
Professional at all times. Consistently.
False allegations will be thrown at you right away. You can prove a lot of them wrong just by simply dressing nicely as first impressions are everything..
3. Stay up to date on family law
If something is not in the law book but a judge says it is, how can you defend it?
Nothing is sweeter than surprising your ex-spouses lawyer with your own knowledge.
Play stupid and only go on offense when it’s important. These are guaranteed wins.
4. Take your time choosing a lawyer that is experienced in personality disorders
Always trust your gut.
Personality disorders are complex, you don’t want to find yourself buried alone in their manipulation.
A Narcissist is likely to have a lawyer that also has a narcissistic personality, so your counsel must be fully prepared.
5. Find a therapist to keep your mental health as strong as possible
If you don’t need a therapist, find something to keep you busy. I found the gym and library gave me a break from the madness.
Online therapy can save you money with quick and easy access to real professionals that can get you through narcissistic abuse.
A Narcissist is likely to have a lawyer that also has a narcissistic personality, so your counsel must be fully prepared.
6. Have continued support from friends and family
If your support is not consistent you are better off without it.
Be careful of, “friends” that are being manipulated against you by a Covert Narcissist.
Sanitize everybody in your circle you don’t need a therapist, find something to keep you busy. I found the gym and library gave me a break from the madness.
7. Document everything.
Subtle child abuse is common with narcissistic rage in court.
A Narcissist will conveniently play victim whenever exposed to their actions.
If abuse is apparent on the children, keep going to the hospital as this shows a pattern that is your best bet in court.
The children will see somebody who cares enough to help them. Minimizing mental and emotional abuse as they grow older.
8. Stay off social media
Distracting and full of bad advice mixed with negative energy.
Fighting in divorce court for custody of your children is exhausting enough.
Nobody wants to hear your drama. If people haven’t dealt with narcissistic rage they won’t understand your pain.
Feeding the narcissistic rage cycle in court
Symptoms become easier to see once you see what you are up against.
It will change the person you thought was fighting for your family
A narcissistic ex-spouse will turn suddenly, even worse than before, to a frightening monster in the blink of an eye
With that being said, the narcissistic personality within the divorce court is a nasty experience against a sneaky covert.
“Adding to the devastation, narcissists never take responsibility for their rage, never apologize for let alone acknowledge their actions. Rather, they project their own irrational attacking behaviour onto the others they have traumatized, typically a scapegoated child or partner, further increasing the abused person’s trauma.”
“In the narcissist’s own eyes, she is always the victim, never the victimizer, and her behaviour is always justified.”
The power of covert narcissist traits can be enough to put you in depression with no signs of it pulling you down as your mental health slowly disintegrates into the size of a tiny grain of sand.
Without a doubt, manipulation and emotional abuse go unnoticed very easily.
Your attempts to prove this against a covert narcissist in divorce court will only work against you unless you build your case long term, showing their patterns.
I bet you wouldn’t have chosen a self-entitled, abusive, manipulative, lying, cheating narcissistic parent to raise a family with, right?
I also ignored way too many red flags that I was dealing with somebody that would not ever come to a reasonable agreement to benefit our child.
Obviously, if I did my research on narcissistic personality disorder, I would have known from the start that a narcissist could care less about our child.
She was only in it to use our child as a weapon to hurt me in any way possible.
Exposing the exaggerated false accusations thrown towards me only opened a deep narcissistic injury that emerged quickly by “winning” in family court
The encounters of narcissistic rage can be so lethal it will ruin you.
Reading up on the proper resources on how to deal with a Narcissist is crucial for you to destroy a narcissist in court.
Further causes of narcissistic rage in court
Former spouse filed for sole custody again and wanted all previous orders terminated.
At this point, I thought everyone would see the selfish acts. I was so very wrong.
The gray rock technique was overlooked as I made risky moves by going in blinded and full of emotions.
A trial date was set again so I am back on the defense as unstable, and a danger to our child.
The glorious narcissistic lawyer against me was licking her chops.
I will never forget the demonic grin across the courtroom from my former spouse.
Thankfully, I have fought against her sole custody, self-involved court stature before.
Unfortunately, a narcissistic personality disorder is not going to stop the rage after I threatened their supreme ego to expose them for who they are.
Rage from a Covert Narcissist
I had 15 Ministry of children and family development calls on me since.
Home visits and investigations were stopped after the 12th malicious call.
Unfortunately, the damage was more than enough to take a toll on me
The image is painted about me to my neighbors, and especially my daughter only made my ex-spouse smile.
Numerous false claims began to come towards me at full speed.
Income assistance fraud
False allegations during custody battles
Narcissistic rage ultimately made me defeat the covert narcissist in their own kingdom.
because the multiple calls to the ministry only made me stronger, and the narcissist became much weaker as she saw me take no sweat to the accusations.
If you are not faded by these cold souls, they will not be able to hide their true selves.
This is the best way to expose a narcissist for who they really are.
In the case you are involved in a court battle, I highly recommend you fully understand whether this person is a Psychopath or a Sociopath.
With that being said, an even more complex situation could put together traits that create a disastrous narcissistic Sociopath.
Antisocial personality disorder is the closest diagnosis to sociopathy. Although movies and television shows may present people with this condition as dangerous sociopaths, people with antisocial personality disorder can lead normal, productive lives.
What is the definition of a narcissistic sociopath?
The combination of traits in narcissists and sociopaths is an ugly mix of personality disorders.
It’s the person you would never expect it to be.
They are extremely dangerous as they can mimic any trait that is likable depending on the person they want to impress.
Depending on what traits your manipulator has, I have the resources to disengage the child abuse.
This will ultimately begin the repair and rebuilding of your mental health, then you will begin to understand the true parental alienation that every judge chooses to ignore.
The Empath and the Narcissist
If You Think You May Be An Empath… Check Out This Empath Survival Guide! Do you feel like an emotional sponge that collects the emotions of everyone around? Do you feel stressed and overwhelmed in crowds? Do you seem to attract emotional abusers? It looks like you’re an empath.
if you need a fast forward and a cheat sheet to get control of your Psychopath vs Sociopath, then I would suggest you get your proper
Rise above and master their minds, no judge will help you stop the subtle child abuse.
They don’t care.
nobody does but you.
However, if you are dealing with an intense form of the narcissistic personality, continue reading to finally be free from the abuse.
It takes a lot of patience and consistent knowledge, I had to learn myself to pick up a book and protect my daughter from the chaos.
Abusive relationships with narcissism
Psychological abuse involves a person’s attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. It’s in the abuser’s words and actions, as well as their persistence in these behaviors.
After studying about the narcissistic personality disorder when I finally set myself free from my manipulating ex-spouse, I was able to find out how my once love of my life was most definitely a female psychopath.
To be honest, it will never be easy trying to co-parent with a delusional self-involved person.
Although, I now have the tools to protect my mental health and the necessary tools to protect my daughter as well.
It has been three years of struggling chaos with narcissist parenting, the constant need for admiration can be very frustrating.
Examples of Sociopath traits in your family
Do these situations sound familiar?
The victim child will be taught to lie and say the abuse did not happen
A sociopath for a brother or a sociopath sister will play the victim and always be believed as the victim.
They can freely manipulate anybody along the way. This is easily observed by anybody that has dealt with Sociopath vs Psychopath to see the similarities.
A sociopath parent will hurt somebody and then pretend they didn’t
Tactics like “social distancing” narcissists will use to not drop them off to you on your parenting days.
While in a Narcissist’s care, parental alienation will be full swing as they tell the children false reasons as to why you didn’t show up to pick them up.
Dealing with narcissism and the coronavirus
Finally, a book that answers every question ever asked about narcissists. Drew Keys, founder of the acclaimed Light’s House.org, reveals the inside secrets to the frustrating and crazy-making games narcissists play — and reveals the ins and outs of how (and why) they do what they do.
With that being said, it is an extremely dangerous mental state of mind which will ultimately lead to further turns on the narcissistic abuse cycle involving your children after a relationship.
From my experience, it all becomes torture. This is the called the unforgiving and malicious narcissistic rage.
Healing from abuse
Because of their disordered sense of self, the narcissists are prone to engage in several actions that are damaging to those around them. These include bullying, demeaning comments, and other forms of emotional abuse that you need to recover from.
I spent a lot of wasted years looking for answers on how to use the best narcissist revenge tactics on my daughter’s mentally ill Mother.
Similarly, I have noticed there are numerous mislead articles stating that the narcissistic injury meaning is that the victim is being hurt and abused by narcissistic abuse symptoms.
This is incorrect information and could be dangerous if used around narcissists.
Psychoanalysts Freud and Kohut | History of narcissistic injuries
Where Freudian concentrated on the “primary injury” in childhood, Heinz Kohut, also from the psychoanalytic background, developed theories about the “secondary” injuries which afflict narcissists on a day to day basis.
Kohut followed the teachings of Freudian, but soon began to argue a few of his points on how these injuries are so traumatizing.
He believed that shame repeats the experience of injury, this may explain why even the slightest sign of failure will set a Narcissist off into a delusional state of mind.
The experience of being told they are never good enough, flashbacks from a disappointed parent.
Criticism of a narcissistic mother
Simply put, a pathological Narcissist is a person with a narcissistic personality disorder that obsesses over themselves for the pursuit of their precious narcissistic supply that gives them the feeling of emotional control.
This means they are extremely codependent on others to cater to their daily demands, and if these needs aren’t met then narcissistic rage and injury come quickly after.
Grudges after a relationship are held for a long time, and let me tell you from experience that they play very dirty.
I also had to fill my mind with proper knowledge about narcissism because I would not have learned otherwise.
With that being said, it made me become the Narcissist’s nightmare.
Learning the safest action of how to inflict narcissistic injury on a narcissist without the aftermath of heartbreaking child abuse.
Although, mirrors still only showed the battered meaning we all don’t see in each other deep down inside.
Healing my family and helping people going through the same chaotic experience is my goal.
Researching and studying is key to protecting your children from the painful narcissistic abuse symptoms.
Toxic narcissistic relationships when children are involved
Narcissist parenting can be an emotional roller coaster, I found this out as my daughter became the new punching bag caused by childhood wounds that I unknowingly dug into.
Are you dealing with a covert narcissist who is making your life a living hell?
I can fully understand your pain.
I have been protecting my daughter and I from a narcissistic mother for years.
I know, how could I ever compare the two genders and give you advice?
Because I have been obsessively studying narcissistic personality disorder to keep me sane.
Doing this has helped me get through those tough times I can finally look back on now.
let’s first break all the myths of what a Narcissist actually is.
People will always go straight to google when they want to learn about…. anything in the world.
Type into google “narcissist” and what’s the first thing that comes up from Oxford dictionaries ?
“a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. narcissists think the world revolves around them”
I bet somebody would read such a simple definition and move on with their life.
I even did at one point because i was uneducated.
In my opinion, it doesn’t even come close to what a narcissist is.
The unfortunate thing is that people could be dealing with not only a covert narcissist, but a frightening narcissistic sociopath and not even know it.
Why? because google gave the “top answer” that is far from the real definition.
Society has made the world believe that being narcissistic isn’t even all that bad.
Let’s see a clearer definition of what you are dealing with.
Helpguide defines the narcissistic behavior exactly as it should be.
“The word narcissism gets tossed around a lot in our selfie-obsessed, celebrity-driven culture, often to describe someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves. But in psychological terms, narcissism doesn’t mean self-love—at least not of a genuine sort. It’s more accurate to say that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are in love with an idealized, grandiose image of themselves. “
Protecting your kids from narcissistic abuse
Unfortunately, a covert narcissist is going to do whatever it takes to create narcissistic children.
In fact, sometimes it just happens by fate they will grow up to be just like your husband no matter how much you do to prevent it.
This is why narcissistic personality disorder is so dangerous.
With that being said, some people are just born with an amazing amount of emotional empathy.
Learn the info you need in order to help your child overcome his/her challenges in life!
Understanding the difference between sociopath traits relative to your situation is crucial for protecting your child from the sadistic, and cold actions of a narcissistic personality.
If you feel you are dealing with somebody that has a mix of traits associated with two different disorders, it’s my advice to read up on a narcissistic Sociopath.
Research of narcissistic personality
More research on mental disorders associated with narcissism is crucial.
It is extremely destructive and it is ruining our society as a whole.
Masking the true battered meaning as the delusions enable people to use subtle parental alienation to create child abuse.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in every area of the narcissist’s life: from work and friendships to family and love relationships. Melinda Smith, M.A. – HealthGuide.org
Narcissistic personality disorder has its earliest roots in ancient Greek mythology. According to the myth, Narcissus was a handsome and proud young man. Upon seeing his reflection on the water for the first time, he became so enamored that he could not stop gazing at his own image. He remained at the water’s edge until he eventually wasted to death.
During the 1950s and 1960s, psychoanalysts Otto Kernberg and Heinz Kohut helped spark more interest in narcissism. In 1967, Kernberg described “narcissistic personality structure.” He developed a theory of narcissism that suggested three major types: normal adult narcissism, normal infantile narcissism, and pathological narcissism that can be of different types.
Adding to the above, in 1980 the narcissistic personality was finally recognized in the third edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder and criteria were established for its diagnosis.
However, very little has changed since that time.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to diagnose or even point fingers at somebody for the abuse.
Not only is it subtle, but it’s also not taken seriously.
Different types of narcissistic personality
Not only have I experienced how delusional people with this mental disorder can be, but I have also experienced the child abuse that comes with it.
The system is unlikely to help you, and you will only waste money on lawyers pretending to care.
Protecting you and your children from the covert narcissist traits
Lastly, I had to learn the hard way of going about these demons.
My former spouse was able to have a lot of her flying monkeys stand before the courtroom and make false accusations against me.
Subtle parental alienation from my child’s daycare and even false ministry calls to paint a bad picture. Once you have wiped up all the blood off of yourself from being kicked down for no reason, it won’t take long before your children start being abused.
Why? Because you exposed the Narcissist for who they are, and you are not feeding them their sadistic narcissistic supply addiction anymore. Now you must receive a delusional payback through your children.
Contact us now if you are going through this, because minimizing and pinpointing the abuse is best to start early.
A manipulating, bitter, spiteful, and out-of-control Narcissist will do anything to keep you from your flesh and blood.
They will do it with a smile. Don’t wait for them to change, it’s not in their plans to get back with an ex
Protect your mental health, and listen to your children when they tell you something is wrong You are not dealing with anybody normal.
Narcissistic supply is always the goal for any narcissistic personality They are nothing without it.
Unfortunately, this involves love bombing.
Precious and convincing sweet talk or amazing gifts to lure you in
Shortly after, an unexpected massive blow to your self-worth and confidence as they violently devalue and discard you.
The cycle will repeat and victims of the manipulative abuse make people stay in a relationship with the narcissist because they are addicted to the emotional rollercoaster.
If you are divorcing your partner in court, you are going to need to learn the techniques of emotional manipulators.
The mask of a narcissist might seem obvious to you by now, but don’t think for a second that others will see the same as you.
When rejected, as when you ask for a divorce or fall in love with someone else, your narcissistic soon-to-be-ex will quite possibly get aggressive and downright scary. Narcissists, when they feel unwanted, don’t run away from hurting innocent people, like your children.
Recovering from physical abuse in a relationship is a tough thing to do, to say the least, but have you ever tried to go through narcissistic abuse recovery?
The aftermath of narcissistic abuse will have you running in circles trying to fill emotional voids.
Putting on bandaids on scars you can’t even explain to other people unless they have gone through the same experience.
You will hear the following things said to you, over and over, and will drive you mad as you go through narcissistic abuse recovery:
Get over it
There’s plenty of better people out there
Get out and go have some drinks
You’ll be fine
Here’s a fun fact: The people that are saying these statements have not been in the narcissistic abuse cycle by a Narcissist as you have, because all of these statements don’t work on your recovery long term.
They might temporarily make you feel better, but in the long run, feelings after narcissistic abuse will only worsen as you push the feelings deep down inside.
The storm is slowly brewing for the explosion that you may or may not have already experienced.
You don’t feel like yourself.
You have gotten over exes before but it just wasn’t this hard.
Being trauma bonded to the narcissist and a couple of drinks with some friends won’t be enough to fix your situation.
If you have a difficult, selfish, and unemotionally available loved one and feel like you have less self-confidence, have less independence, or have given up your family, friends, hobbies, or a career for this person, you may be dealing with narcissistic abuse.
With that being said, plenty of mistakes only made my narcissistic abuse syndrome a lot worse. Here are 4 ways to get through your narcissistic abuse recovery:
1. Take responsibility
Understand what you have been through, and accept the fact you went through it.
A Narcissist can play the game well, and you lost. Don’t dwell on the fact that this person never existed.
You are also responsible for your health, and your children’s health as you go through narcissistic abuse recovery.
2. Realizing you aren’t crazy
You will come to the realization that you were dealing with a narcissist, but people always end up staying in the crazy mindset
Take a minute to let your brain process the fact that you aren’t crazy, and you were being abused
Narcissists are very good at playing mind tricks long after the relationship. This is especially true if you have children, as they will continue the abuse through parental alienation.
3. Getting out of Denial
It is normal for you to stalk the Narcissist after the relationship has ended because you still can’t believe it’s over.
This will only slow your recovery because you are putting your brain on the wrong signals, instead of the right pathway of self-care.
Narcissistic triangulation will continue to slow your recovery, as you will obsess on trying to make people see the Narcissist’s true face. Do not waste your time on this, they will not listen to you.
4. Therapy and mental support
While friends and family can provide support, it’s best to get a real professional that has studied narcissistic personality disorder.
Mental health support is important for narcissistic abuse recovery because of how subtle the abuse can be
Online therapy is becoming the newest support group to go to, as it is confidential and can be used in court for any claims of abuse. Skipping expensive line-ups without leaving your house is the newest bonus as technology rises in our time.
Leaving your house can be a struggle, no matter how much abuse you have endured. It’s important to stay away from any negative people until you are strong enough.
Being hoovered by a Narcissist is also common when trying to recover from narcissistic abuse.
I have made mistakes along the way, and I hope you don’t have to.
Study the disorder, and learn how to avoid the abuse in every way possible. Education is your best friend, and you may find yourself obsessing over your new knowledge.
This is a good thing.
Every piece of information you learn will keep you away from manipulation tactics that have been set up by your Narcissist, who only wants to see you become another victim of narcissistic abuse symptoms.
As you gain knowledge, you will be able to spread the word about the destruction of a narcissistic personality disorder and help others get through the lonely road of a narcissistic abuse recovery through your own negative experience that you turn to a positive.
A narcissistic parent is somebody that has a narcissistic personality disorder, and possessively close to their children in the most damaging ways you can possibly think of.
Narcissistic mother syndrome is exactly that, and the need for power at the expense of the children is tragic.
Control becomes much more apparent to children when the Father has already been a victim of parental alienation, but in the public eye nobody would ever expect any kind of narcissistic mother abuse.
Children only know a parent to be doing things the right way. Often at young ages, it is very easy for a child to follow in her footsteps as narcissistic children when they are raised by narcissists.
With that being said, only a few will be able to break the emotional manipulation and not become a victim to the treacherous narcissistic mother control themselves.
I find it hard to sympathize with a Father that left his children because “she was crazy” when I’m on the battlefield protecting my daughter every day.
There has to be somebody to teach them a healthy mindset because each and every second away from the abusive narcissistic Mother syndrome is critical for their mental health.
I can’t say it will be easy, often times you will be abused by narcissistic triangulation who join in on the abuse and cater to the abuse
“What toxic parents all have in common is their inability to provide their children with a safe, nurturing, and loving environment. If they are narcissistically abusive, they are without empathy and sometimes even conscience. This type of ruthless behavior has a damaging impact on our early development as well as the way we navigate the world as adults.”
“Female narcissists do not grow out of their childhood aggression; eerily enough, they evolve into even more effective aggressive behaviors in adulthood, using their manipulative tactics to serve their selfish agendas and to exploit others.”
How to protect a child from narcissistic mother syndrome
A major factor in minimizing and ultimately ending the abuse is a ”no contact” with the abuser. This works great.
How can you be abused if you have no contact with the source of pain?
The problem with cutting off communication in a court dispute means you will have to stop seeing your children. Not only stop seeing your children, but they will also be brainwashed against you.
You might not care, but the abandonment only adds to the problem with these disorders in the future. The narcissistic mother syndrome is not easy to understand when trauma bonding is taking the best of you.
The Gray Rock Method has been the best way to protect my child from an abusive narcissistic mother.
With that being said, narcissistic abuse symptoms vary depending on each situation. Likewise, going no contact is the best way to go if no children are involved. I envy you if you are only protecting yourself from this unfortunate disorder.
Narcissistic Mother syndrome – dealing with a sociopath ex
If your manipulative former spouse suggests to not go through court, I recommend you do not agree to this
If you are absolutely sure you are dealing with narcissism or any disorder of this level, I highly suggest you do not take this tempting offer.
It’s understandable you want this person to get better.
However, people also forget how cold a Narcissist can be. If you want your child’s mental health to be stable you need to read this vital information.
With that being said, co-parenting with somebody that has narcissistic mother syndrome is exhausting.
I am now in a comfortable place to share my experiences of what you should do and absolutely should not do.
What if you don’t have a court agreement?
A family must be completely civil towards each other and have a huge amount of trust in each other if an agreement is not through the court.
This is because:
The abuser can move far enough away to alienate you.
Completely disappear without police enforcement
Start a court order in a different province where you don’t exist
If you are a Father: a false allegation can have you arrested much easier than if you have an official order.
The narcissistic mother will go for retroactive child support for any amount, at any time. It is irrelevant to the fact you, ”agreed” to an amount that you paid to her.
The judge could look at that as a ”gift” to them.
Information about your child will be harder to receive as court documents about a child will always be taken into consideration.
Of course, I will explain further below when it was soon shown to me that court documents won’t even matter in a complex triangulation abuse battle between parents and third parties.
the backlash from narcissistic mother syndrome
The following things will suddenly happen to purposely throw you off:
You are going to see the person you once knew, and they might even apologize; a relief that the family can finally put themselves back together
If apologies are thrown your way, throw them right back…in a nice way. There are never good intentions for you when it comes to a Narcissist unless it benefits them of course.
I believe that a narcissistic Mother is just who they are now, and you must accept that fact. They are geniuses at what they do, and I back my statement up even more now. Move on
A narcissistic Mother will get their ”fuel” from an ex-spouse with ease in family court. The child at this point is in a dangerous position. You do not want to fall deep into this sadistic trap of ”parent vs parent” circus at family court.
Rise of shared parenting cases in court with narcissistic mothers
It’s a true fact: shared parenting has been the outcome of more family cases as of late. Unfortunately, the genius and hidden narcissistic personality disorder has once again crashed the party
A narcissistic Mother will use a 50/50 shared agreement against you in a million ways. They have perfected subtle parental alienation to cause damage behind the scenes.
I have had every single narcissistic manipulation against me in court. I will start with the most lethal way as it has ruined too many involved parents, and I myself lost parenting time because of the unforgiving “Ex Parte” order.
How to deal with the ex-parte order in court
I have been a victim of this malicious order myself. It is highly abused.
Of course, it will be used by a narcissistic Mother to alienate the other parent as it is a one-sided order that can have you arrested and charged without notice.
These orders by definition are ‘without notice’ orders. This means that your spouse will have no idea that you are going to Court to get an order against them. Many spouses take advantage of this procedure because they know their ex does not know about them and cannot defend against them.
You may have this order against you right now. If you even slightly think you may, don’t contact the ex-spouse.
With that being said, you must protect yourself from being a victim of such an unconstitutional order.
Here are the most important things to note :
Any female can get this order just by showing any sort of ”fear” to a judge.
A judge almost always signs this order. Why? because a narcissistic Mother is a good actor, but how hard can it really be?
If you contact the abuser directly or indirectly in any way you will have a warrant out for your arrest.
Don’t bother with your proof until you prove your innocence months later, once released.
Get a criminal lawyer immediately.
Further narcissistic Mother syndrome court trouble
Manipulations, tantrums, and childish acts never end. You must identify your nightmare as it is the only way to protect yourself from completely losing your mind, and ultimately losing your children.
It is best to just get used to the games that will be played to get a rise out of you. For example:
Showing up to drop off the child late
Not showing up with the child at drop off at all
Court harassment (excessive applications with short notice)
Child care providers may help alienate you from being involved with your children. This is where I first learned about the complex narcissistic triangulation. It was not a happy time for myself or my daughter.
Daycare will likely side with the abuser, as they have been brainwashed behind your back for a long time.
Child care providers will also not follow court orders, regardless of any court order. They may abuse your child behind closed doors, just because they can. A circle of applications is what you will find yourself in, as you quietly are pushed out of the duties for your children.
Not answering emails, texts, or any message regarding your children
If you are not receiving a response after two emails, texts, or phone calls then stop and file court papers.
Three or more messages will be turned on you as, ”harassment” and if they have a lawyer they will join in on the bullying.
Document everything, and gradually rise to a 50/50 agreement.
This will be your time to strike on the abuse, as you will have a footprint as a Father in the system
How to protect your child from narcissistic mother syndrome
Everything mentioned I have personally been through.
False allegations resulting in criminal charges
I took a child care provider to court for abuse and neglect
alienation was attempted on me from all angles.
You have to make sure to focus on your children’s mental health instead of the other parent, no matter how hard it may be.
It can go sideways very quickly if children do not have the proper path to walk on.
You can only blame yourself if mental issues suddenly come to light as your children grow up, because they won’t tell you that you are hurting them with every word they hear about the narcissistic mother
I made a lot of mistakes on the journey to bring my daughter home, but she is finally home. After protecting my daughter from all the abusive narcissistic Mother personalities, our bond is so much bigger.
I can finally thank my chosen Narcissist for something. Just kidding, why would I want to feed the abuse? I learned a long time ago that my child’s narcissistic Mother will not change. Your female narcissist friend won’t change either.
Patience and understanding of this disorder are crucial for my daughter to learn how to protect herself from her own flesh and blood.
I was able to do it while she had no voice, and I hope you can take this information and save your children from abuse as well.
You don’t have to do it alone either sign up for online therapy and get your support now!
A relationship with a Narcissist will begin as the honeymoon phase where you will believe you have found your soulmate.
Unfortunately, the good sex and love-bombing will slowly deplete as the realization comes that you are stuck in a narcissistic abuse cycle.
You will likely have gone through many narcissistic abuse recovery attempts with cycles of abuse before you finally get out of the sadistic spell of denial that has been maliciously planned by your former spouse’s gaslighting.
Promises of a future together, your mutual likes and dislikes and a similar childhood between the two of you might seem like it’s too good to be true.
Let me be the first to tell you…
This is all just an image of themselves that is painted perfectly just for you. It’s all used to lure you in for a big kick in the arse.
It’s not personal. If it wasn’t you, it would be a picture painted for somebody else’s likes and dislikes.
Unfortunately, you got yourself sucked into the nasty void of a good for nothing Narcissist, didn’t you?
Much like the narcissistic rage cycle that is at the end stages, it’s frightening to see and it all comes together as an abusive pattern.
In my experience, my co-parenting nightmare used many of the same tactics that we shared various things in common such as:
Starting a family
We have nothing in common. The mask that was put on was played so well, I still have a hard time believing she was able to play such a good game at luring me in with lies.
Having a child was her best way of taking tiny jabs at me for life, and I can tell you she did not want to have a child. The child is nothing more than a negotiating tool and a source of fuel to keep her going.
If you have a child, I am so sorry. I know people that have children with a narc, and their children are in danger. So, if you have a child and your with a narc, or you’ve been with a narc, Run, run and hide and protect yourself, protect your child because it’s hard enough for the adult that I watched in Youtube to have had this experience but to me I think its the children that I hear more, more and more stories of how their parents turned them into something for the rest of their lives.
With that being said, here are the stages of a narcissistic abuse cycle that comes in every relationship with a Narcissist.
Idealize stage of narcissistic abuse
The very first stage to becoming a victim of the narcissistic abuse cycle, and it’s very hard to see it at first. This is especially true depending on the type of narcissist you are dealing with. Besides love-bombing and great sex, here are some more typical red flags and sayings of being idealized in a toxic relationship:
We have so much in common
You are the most beautiful
You are nothing like my exes
I got treated badly by my exes as well
We are soul mates
I don’t know what I would do without you
Keep in mind that these do not automatically make yourself in a narcissistic abuse relationship, but these terms will be used on you numerous times.
You will have to take a step back and look at the true intentions of this person.
It’s very easy to believe you have found the one, but it’s a lot harder to recover from the painful experience from narcissistic abuse syndrome
You were picked by this soul-sucking leech because you had empathy and compassion, and a Narcissist needs this on the daily.
It’s important to look at their past victims, the poor exes they talked so badly about might not be so evil.
Devalue stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle
The second stage is when it seems to knock you off guard, and your mind can’t fully understand what is happening.
This is because you are just coming out of the extasy stage of an amazing relationship.
You will be hit hard, but not quite as hard as the next stage.
Devaluing in a relationship can take many different forms so it’s hard to point exactly how it will be done to you.
With that being said, it always starts as a little joke here and there but will then gain momentum and come full swing.
Opening childhood wounds can happen in this stage when you don’t tend to their needs. Seeking revenge can put you in an even worse bind if you don’t act the proper way.
Nonetheless, here are the common things that will happen in the devalue stage:
sex comes to a halt
everything you do irritates them
things you used to enjoy they hate
attention and admiration is gone
not invited to events
they become cold and distant
These will all come slowly, and you will be hesitant to react to it.
By now, they have already brainwashed you into thinking this is normal and/or it is because of something you have done.
The final, coldest stage of them all is up next
Discard in the narcissistic abuse cycle
The final stage in this toxic relationship cycle is when you are discarded by the Narcissist. Thrown out. Ditched
You will suddenly be tossed away like you never existed, and this is the part that some people don’t even recover from.
Because of the emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs your brain just can’t understand the concept of reality.
You will be begging for them back because you thought that they were the only one for you.
Unfortunately, they are long gone.
They were over you a while ago, and you are now at the perfect place for the Narcissist..on your hands and knees as they have already jumped onto their next victim for narcissistic supply.
They are bored with you, and you have given them all that they needed.
It was never about you, it has always been about them.
At last, here are the common things to see in a cold discard in a narcissistic abuse cycle:
Being discarded is one of the coldest moments you will likely experience in your life, and it can change you for the worst or the better.
Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t even realize that they were abused and don’t ever end up recovering.
Narcissistic abuse recovery
Recovering from a narcissistic abuse cycle is not easy, and the scars can be so subtle that your friends and family might shrug you off.
People will be sick of hearing you talk about it to the point you will once again start thinking you are going crazy.
This means the Narcissist still has a stronghold on your mental health.
It’s better to recover now instead of later because I have seen the strongest minds fall to this torture.
The best thing to realize is that it happened to you because of the empathy you have. Don’t let a Narcissist take this from you.
Instead, kill them with kindness.
Let them go, they are dead to you as you are to them. Every moment you think about them, think about the real person they are and turn it into a positive.
I guarantee with a little practice you will never fall victim to another Narcissist, and your next partner will be the one you imagined once upon a time…
Instead, they will be the real thing.
I know it will be tough to love again, but take it slow. Take your time and observe people so you never get caught in the narcissistic abuse cycle again. Over time you will be back to yourself and become picky about who treats you like you should be treated.
Don’t stay in denial. Spread the word about your experiences and be happy you got away because the trails of victims from a Narcissist is heartbreaking.
What doesn’t kill you makes you 1000x times stronger.
First, if you are engaged with the all-mighty entitlement of an adult child AKA narcissistic parenting, you are in for an emotional roller coaster with codependency.
The first step in getting things back on track is to understand the meaning of a codependent relationship. Experts say it’s a pattern of behavior in which you find yourself dependent on approval from someone else for your self-worth and identity.
Self-involvement is all over a shared parenting custody agreement so be ready for extra power trips and temper tantrums.
With that being said, the faster you realize you are the only one that loves your own children, the better off your whole family is.
Malicious ex-spouse manipulations will go to every degree of fake love, and even though you unmasked the demon for your own peace of mind, you better believe your children are already entangled in an abusive cycle.
Although, if they aren’t already… they are really close as to be the new source of narcissistic supply.
Abusive traits end up with the children
In my personal experience with a narcissistic mother, our daughter became a punching bag and a “chore” shortly after I decided to outplay the narcissist right back at her
I was not feeding the usual supply that was being pulled out of me all those years.
Narcissistic rage in court caused the mask of fake love to come off, but our daughter still wouldn’t and couldn’t accept the fact her loving Mother is just not so loving anymore.
Be prepared for this with narcissist parenting as it happens very quickly.
Subtle abuse on children of narcissistic parents
Unfortunately, I unknowingly inflicted injury from tragic childhood memories in a narc parent to uncover all the lies that were said about me to keep me from our daughter.
Secondly, if you are in a court-ordered split “guardianship” (custody) agreement, don’t think for a second those orders will always be followed or even enforced.
Delusional mindsets in the world of a codependent narcissist is not easy for anybody in the line of fire.
Walking on eggshells is a given and also involves you doing your homework on naturally letting your ex-spouse know your boundaries, without actually letting them know.
If you don’t do this properly it could leave you with an abuse syndrome, and recovering from this is extremely hard to do.
It is common see a narcissistic mother do the follow things:
Paint a bad image of you at the children’s school and/or daycare move
Stop you from receiving injury reports about the child, and information about people who are authorized to pick up the child.
These two things often go unnoticed until you actually try to receive these reports.
A shared agreement in court will do nothing for you, as daycare and schools are protected when the narcissistic parent claims it is a “safety” issue for themselves and the child.
Furthermore, narcissistic mother symptoms will show with a smark while manipulating the children by:
not involve you in children’s activities (swimming lessons, dance class etc)
brainwash the child to dislike any activities you do with them
have the child call a new partner “mommy” or “daddy” as a way to alienate you
refuse to drop children off as per a court order. A common “victim” and “fearful” tactic will always be used.
Create a narcissistic triangulation against you
This may ring a bell for quite a lot of people:
The children were frightened to go to their Fathers house, I made a decision on the fact that they were scared and I have to protect the children
This will quickly open a ministry file that must be investigated.
Chances are likely you will have lost time with your children until the file is closed which can take many months.
They love to take their time because every second will count when parental alienation has been initiated
With that being said, a common tactic with narcissist parenting is to keep you away from your children.
Ultimately, this will drive you mentally to crazy town; a destination your ex-spouse, her lawyer, and social workers from MCFD wait patiently on your arrival.
You will be called crazy and unfit to parent even to the point of believing it yourself.
How to deal with narcissistic parents
It is virtually impossible to truly co-parent with someone who has no understanding of teamwork. Instead, you need to focus on co-parenting in spite of a narcissist, with an emphasis on insulating yourself and your children from the narcissist’s manipulation and rage.
Indeed, the best way to co-parent with a Narcissist is with the Gray Rock Method.
From my experience, it has minimized a lot of abuse on our daughter that I unknowingly fed into.
Your number one priority should be your children.
Now that your ex-spouse’s true self has been revealed to you, it’s time to protect your children from the abuse as well.
If you are not careful, your child will continue the cycle of being raised by narcissists; you will be part of the growing problem instead of the solution
Narcissist parenting and their child abuse can be extremely subtle and even turned onto the protector, rather than the abuser.
These are common sociopath traits.
I have been to court with too many applications only to have it turned around and suddenly I am on the defence.
Don’t waste your time on a system that will ignore child abuse and mental disorders for the greed of money and control.
How to overcome codependency symptoms
I ignored a lot of the bad talk I heard about me from my ex-spouse, but my daughter was fed a lot of lies and heard nothing from me.
I figured this was the best thing to do. However, she started to not believe certain things I told her.
My daughter told me her mother doesn’t smoke because “good people don’t smoke” and as petty as it might sound, I insisted that her Mother smokes and she didn’t still believe a word I said.
This is frustrating, as I realized my daughter is following her Mother’s footsteps. Not on my watch.
When I dropped her off I was sure to drive by the pillar her Mother quickly smokes by before picking up our daughter.
The look on my daughter’s face was priceless, and she believes every word I say now. It is important to understand the manipulation of Sociopath traits because you could very well be doing the wrong things in the world of narcissist parenting.
With that being said, here are ways to protect your children from the sadistic delusions and the unforgiving abuse:
You cannot ignore the abusive parent’s actions and words against you.
Don’t bash the other parent, but you have to find a way to make them see the manipulations and fake love.
Show empathy to everybody.
Hold doors open for people, throw that homeless person some change.
You will be amazed at how much your children follow the good feeling of empathy.
Listen to your children. Everything. Children talk in short sentences and sometimes they just want somebody to listen to them.
At last, nobody wants to co-parent with a Narcissist.
However, in order for us to create a better world and have our children grow up and be the best parents they can be, we have to sacrifice every ounce of energy for them.
In my opinion, narcissistic parenting is not the greatest journey. However, regardless of a codependent narcissist’s actions, the smile on my daughter every time she comes to me is worth it. Never give up.