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Raised by Narcissists | narcissistic parenting

The truth when raised by narcissists


To begin, people are quick to say they are raised by Narcissists whenever they are confronted with their narcissistic behavior.

Parents become the blame game to ease themselves of shame.

However, this is not always the case.

It’s important to educate yourself on the narcissist parenting and how people with a personality disorder parent their children.

With that being said, you will get plenty of useful information regardless of your unfortunate situation:

  • living with, or grew up living with a Narcissist as the parent(s)
  • spouse or former spouse is showing narcissistic personalities

if somebody around you seems to be showing symptoms, you want to clarify this immediately so you can disappear from their lives. 

forever.


Abusive childhood

How do you know if you were raised by Narcissists?

But behind closed doors, all pretense falls away. Only you, their child, knows what it’s like to endure their cold shoulders for days on end over a minor infraction, or bear the brunt of constant, age-inappropriate demands for perfection and strength. You know what it’s like to be parented by a narcissist.

Huffingtonpost


Along with narcissist triangulation, there are complex things to understand when being raised by toxic people.

Obviously, with all the surprising and shocking threats that come up with narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic parents have two routes of travel with their children. 

They are the following:

Ignoring Narcissists

  • Complete neglect and show no care about their children’s lives.
  • Children are a threat to them, so the less that they are taking care of their children, the better off they will feel about themselves

Engulfing Narcissists
  • Shows obsessive involvement and care, the complete opposite of the former.
  • Forces their self-image onto their children, and will make sure they do not stray away from this without punishment. 

raised by narcissists

What symptoms arise from being raised by Narcissists?


Certain feelings and emotions go through people when they are knowingly, or unknowingly raised by Narcissists. 

Such as the following:

1. You aren’t able to put your needs first

  • Leads to narcissist triangulation by bosses, significant others, and everybody around you as you always feel the need to please others
  • Can’t feel satisfied with anything you do for yourself

2. Constantly over-sensitive

  • As you grow into adult life, you will become emotional for the slightest things.  This allows you to be easily manipulated in relationships.
  • Unable to hold down a job

3. Over-Competitive

  • In some cases, this may turn positive, but for the most part, you will lose your self-worth trying to win at everything.  And it won’t ever be good enough for you
  • Caused by narcissistic parents being critical of every move, with little to no encouragement in your childhood

4. Shy and unable to speak up

  • No confidence
  • Do not want to start any fighting, even if it is a delusional thought. 
  • Caused by manipulation and abuse of “never being good enough”

5. Depression and anxiety

  • From being neglected and discarded
  • If one parent has a lot of relationships, this can be caused by becoming attached and detached from numerous “Mother” or “Father” figures
  • Realizing you were raised by Narcissists.  The sudden eye-opener can also be traumatizing.
  • Badmouthing, brainwashing against other siblings and/or your other parents;

If you are feeling any of these symptoms, it’s best to get help immediately to help you on your road to narcissistic abuse recovery.

Now, let’s dig deep into the cause of Narcissist parenting and how you can minimize the scars associated with the narcissistic abuse syndrome.


abuse recovery

Knowledge is power

control the manipulation mindset that has unfortunately fallen down your family tree.

“What I found that was most important to me, however, was that in revisiting those old traumas, I became free of their emotional power. I sobbed through the writing of virtually every one of them and, re-reading them later, I cried again. And again. And then I realized that, because I was safe while writing and re-reading them, because I was not in the grip of the fear that characterized my interactions with my mother, those tears were healing.”

Narcissist’s Child – The Blog

I highly suggest reading more into her blog to relate your situation to the narcissistic personality

Approaching a narcissistic Sociopath and understanding Sociopath traits can save you time and horrific situations in the long run.


Healing from narcissistic abuse

From the unique challenges daughters of narcissistic fathers face to the ways in which adverse childhood experiences affect our brains, Shahida Arabi’s insightful essays resonate deeply with those who have been raised by narcissistic parents. In this new essay collection, Arabi explores how narcissistic abuse in childhood can set us up for trauma repetition in adulthood

raised by narcissists book


How to heal from the narcissistic parenting abuse


Let’s face it, focusing on the past will not help you heal or mend any relationships that may have been broken from this disorder.  Outplay your narcissist at their own game is the secret!

I can not give you advice on this, but I can direct you to the best information.

Perhaps you have suffered from a borderline disorder of the sort, and are giving out unnecessary negative energy to the ones you love?

Maybe you aren’t sure if you have any disorder. This is common when in an abusive narcissistic relationship, where you are tangled in a manipulation tactic of…

“is it me that’s the problem?”

“am I crazy?”

There are various tools on our page to help you with manipulation and the abuse it causes.

Gaining knowledge on how to crush a narcissist is an ongoing battle if you so choose!

There is also a chance of being mistakenly called narcissistic yourself and you believe it, with the ugly symptoms associated with it.


Education on being raised by Narcissists and supporting mental health awareness


Finally, if this is the case for you I highly recommend the Creative Aspirationz blog.

The passion of someone that decided to take control of their mental health. and not let society beat them down.

How inspiring that she is still able to function (in my opinion, better than us) and still raise awareness.

I read this blog quite a bit because it gives me hope that my chaos will get better. My hopes may run much too high of my ex-spouse.

The realization of the abuse and destruction that is harming our daughter should be simple. It’s not. 

My child’s narcissistic Mother doesn’t understand there is help available, but that doesn’t mean I stop trying.

It is my job to understand and work with any mental disorder that comes our way. You can protect your family.

Do not inflict narcissistic injury no matter how tempting it may be.   

The abuse will only carry on times two.

I work with what I have before me, and this includes sacrifices from any angle that needs to be shifted.

Nevertheless, it has given me ways to minimize narcissistic abuse symptoms.  Mental disorders that are confused/ignored by society is a real eye-opener!

it’s important to gain knowledge from a true fighter teaching others the same battle that she is winning, regardless of what she thinks. Keep it up!

“I suppose that’s why I get annoyed when others consider me to be narcissistic because of my borderline personality disorder when I’m the complete opposite – I feel too much and love too much and it sends my brain into overdrive in a modernized society although it’s possible to fall in love again for now it’s settling down in my new home ♡”

Creative Aspirationz – The Creative Borderline

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How to deal with a narcissistic husband


A Covert Narcissist Manipulation


Unethical narcissistic behavior


Are you dealing with a covert narcissist who is making your life a living hell?

I can fully understand your pain.

How?

I have been protecting my daughter and I from a narcissistic mother for years.

I know, how could I ever compare the two genders and give you advice?

Because I have been obsessively studying narcissistic personality disorder to keep me sane.

Doing this has helped me get through those tough times I can finally look back on now.

let’s first break all the myths of what a Narcissist actually is.


Narcissistic behavior

Narcissist meaning


People will always go straight to google when they want to learn about…. anything in the world.

Type into google “narcissist” and what’s the first thing that comes up from Oxford dictionaries ?


a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
narcissists think the world revolves around them”

I bet somebody would read such a simple definition and move on with their life.

I even did at one point because i was uneducated.


In my opinion, it doesn’t even come close to what a narcissist is.


The unfortunate thing is that people could be dealing with not only a covert narcissist, but a frightening narcissistic sociopath
and not even know it.


Why? because google gave the “top answer” that is far from the real definition.


Society has made the world believe that being narcissistic isn’t even all that bad.

covert narcissist husband
a covert narcissist loves a fake image of themselves

Let’s see a clearer definition of what you are dealing with.

Helpguide defines the narcissistic behavior exactly as it should be.

The word narcissism gets tossed around a lot in our selfie-obsessed, celebrity-driven culture, often to describe someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves.
But in psychological terms, narcissism doesn’t mean self-love—at least not of a genuine sort. It’s more accurate to say that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are in love with an idealized, grandiose image of themselves.


Protecting your kids from narcissistic abuse


Unfortunately, a covert narcissist is going to do whatever it takes to create narcissistic children.

In fact, sometimes it just happens by fate they will grow up to be just like your husband no matter how much you do to prevent it.

This is why narcissistic personality disorder is so dangerous.

With that being said, some people are just born with an amazing amount of emotional empathy.


Narcissistic children

Learn the info you need in order to help your child overcome his/her challenges in life!

parenting toddlers book

Fate has been on my good side because a narcissistic mother tries to change our daughter every chance she gets.

With that being said, our daughter shows more empathy than I could ever ask for.

I can still take a little credit though, right? Of course.

But I don’t care because she is understanding very early on how to outplay a narcissist.

Narcissistic abuse should not be ignored

5 beautiful ways to deal with narcissistic traits

1. Don’t let them see you sweat.

  • You are going to sweat whether you like it or not. The manipulations never end.
  • if you are not phased by their toxic behavior you will see them sweat from you not paying any attention.
  • Don’t call them out. This will only show you are giving them attention and you are back to square one.

2. Don’t send messages back with the children

  • A covert narcissist loves to send messages with people you love, and who love you.
  • The most horrible things will be said about you, and the children will even repeat it.
  • Your job? Be calm. Have an honest talk about what was said about you. Not only will you gain a lot of trust from your kids, they will eventually see what the right thing to do is down the road.
  • Successfully pulling this off means you can stop the family violence that has burdened your family tree.

3. Setting boundaries with action

  • A Narcissist will not ever see your side of anything. You have to set boundaries to a point of what they have to do.
  • Co parenting with a covert narcissist involves a lot of work.

4. Keep conversations short and straight to the point

  • This took me a while. It will take you a long time as well. Why? Because your ex knows every button to push.
  • You will get sucked in. Walk away.

5. If he is not willing to get help, you need to prepare your escape.

  • Let’s be honest, he isn’t even sane enough to think he has a problem.
  • if you are one of the very few that changes a Narcissist for the better than let me know so I can go watch pigs fly…

What a Narcissist does at the end of a relationship


At last, you have a long road ahead of you.

If you are planning to leave, be prepared for a massive adult temper tantrum.

To be honest, I am sure you are already waiting to be discarded by your narcissistic husband.

He has likely moved on, to somebody else. You probably don’t want to hear the truth.

You are hanging onto something that isn’t even there.

Caring for an illusion of somebody that never existed.

Understanding how to deal with a covert narcissistic husband is also knowing how NOT to deal with them.

If kids are involved, there are plenty of narcissistic abuse products to keep your family safe.


Divorce a covert narcissist

Exposure of corrupt judges and lawyers in the court room

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Narcissistic supply | Drug-like withdrawal in narcissism



The covert narcissist’s addiction


Narcissistic supply is like a drug to a covert narcissist. 

Are you settling as just a drug for the Narcissist to use and abuse?


Perhaps they are your drug..it can go either way with a such twisted behavior.


However, This is exactly where they want you. 


Stumbling on your thoughts, questioning your sanity… the
same old song. 


This fuel is like breathing for these delusional creatures.


Narcissistic supply is explained by ExploringYourMind as:

narcissists need a person to become their supply, a source of the things they themselves can’t get on their own. This source of “provisions” turns into an extension of themselves or, in other words, a part of them.


narcissism and narcissist meaning


Understanding the meaning of narcissism is a long road, and you are likely to get a wide variety of answers.

I love the narcissist definition given by PsychologyToday:

Narcissism, in lay terms, basically means that a person is totally absorbed in self. The extreme narcissist is the center of his own universe. To an extreme narcissist, people are things to be used. It usually starts with a significant emotional wound or a series of them culminating in a major trauma of separation.

You could grow your knowledge in narcissism and have a little fun by, “poking the bear” with supply, but you will only end up witnessing the unforgiving narcissistic rage.

It is not a pretty sight, and you will regret inflicting narcissistic injury very quickly. 


It’s not just you learning that lesson as they will find a way to maliciously destroy everything you love. 

Anything that loves you.

You could be a child that gets bullied by their parent for supply, or a parent being bullied by the other parent using the children as a sadistic weapon in an unforgiving war.

There are plenty of situations for a Narc chasing this drug-like attachment to their death.

With that being said, supply always runs out.

Why?

because it doesn’t matter how much you give them, it is never good enough.

The more you try, the more you will fall.





Sociopath traits


Sociopath traits happen when a Narcissist loses supply


A covert narcissist is all about the drama with narcissistic supply, but they are much more into it than you might actually know.

Like all addicts, when the drug is finished they need to keep the high going by any means necessary. 

It’s clockwork. 

Much like a narcissistic sociopath, unforgiving adult child narcissistic behavior comes to light.

An abusive cycle.

When the narcissistic supply runs out, they already have another one ready to go. 

Fresh meat who is currently being love-bombed just like you were at one point.

They’re likely done with you and have found a new victim that has no clue what’s coming to them.

Don’t bother alerting this person, or even trying to sabotage whatever you know is coming to them.

You will only be buying into the manipulative scheme of a Narcissist to turn everything on you like you’re the cause of a narcissistic relationship.

There are two main sources involved with a narcissistic supply addiction.

1. Primary supply

  • In the public eye, or private from their spouse so they won’t be exposed for cheating.
  • Shows a ton of admiration during the “lovebombing stage”

Primary sources are commonly:

  • A spouse
  • Children

You might think that supply is always positive towards a Narcissist, but it can be negative as well. 

They love when a spouse is stuck with the hate-love relationship, children are easy targets for a narcissistic mother.

A high is a high for them, whatever keeps their insecure image deep down inside for nobody to see.  


narcissistic supply addiction
narcissistic mother’s addiction to the supply

2. Secondary supply


  • Spouse or ex-spouse
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Business partners
  • Co-workers
  • Acquaintances

Secondary supply should be looked at as “high stature” to the public. 

This is so the grandiose Narcissist can have the appearance of only being around, “people like them”

If anybody in this source turns against them in any way, they will be discarded immediately. 

In this case, parental alienation will be at full speed to destroy any relationship this person has with their children.

This is usually the case with narcissistic spouses as reality sets in of their partner’s narcissistic personality disorder symptoms

It is not uncommon to see a person attempt to learn how to deal with a narcissist by believing that it can be done by exposing the devious mask of shame.

You can expect false allegations, protection orders, smear campaigns, and anything to keep you away from spreading the truth.



Stop a covert narcissist in court

Stop narcissism in it’s tracks with the knowledge only a few can keep to remain sane! Read more as I expose family court lawyers and judges

divorce a narcissist


How to stop a narcissist from causing narcissistic abuse


You don’t.

You focus on yourself and get it in your head that these people will be against you regardless if they see the truth.

With that being said, all of these bullies didn’t get the care, support or love from their care-takers during their childhood.

Now they are on a mission for the rest of their life to prove they are more worthy than everybody else.

Those poor souls need to feel better about themselves by using these pathetic tactics, often at others’ expense.

Let me tell you from experience: paying these blood-sucking creatures no mind kills them inside.

We all slip up, believe me. 

However, watching them look for a supply that isn’t there is simply much more gratifying.

No supply for you. Run along now!

You were chosen by an evil parent to drown beside them in their delusional world of narcissism.

Why? because they were jealous of your empathy.

They wanted to take that from you.  How could you forget your special defence mechanism?

Killing ’em with kindness

Kiss Narcissism goodbye

 
 


 
 

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Narcissistic Sociopath | Mixed traits

What are the traits of a narcissistic Sociopath?

It’s much easier to spot a narcissistic sociopath on TV than it is in real life. 

You know, those dangerous serial killers running around with machetes?

If you are reading this right now… you probably already know it is the complete opposite. 

They are masterminds of disguise and manipulation.

It’s much more complex to become a narcissistic sociopath.

With that being said, a few traits you notice in a friend or family member won’t be enough for them to claim this title.

Let’s break down the two disorders that have to mix in order for somebody to be an actual sadistic narcissistic Sociopath.



Narcissistic Personality Disorder

  • Lack of empathy
  • Constant need for admiration
  • Entitled
  • Arrogant

Antisocial Personality Disorder

  • Disregard for others
  • Aggressive
  • Lack of remorse
  • Irresponsible in their workplace
  • Deceitful

It is not common to see, but people can definitely be diagnosed with those two disorders.

It is not as common to see, but people can absolutely be diagnosed with both disorders.


Master a Sociopath

Master Dealing with Psychopaths, Sociopaths, Narcissists – A Handbook for the Empath … is meant as a solid guide for empathetic individuals that you can reference over and over again

sociopath behavior

Definition of a narcissistic sociopath

A combination of a lack of empathy for others plus a grandiose self-admiration receives the diagnosis of a narcissistic sociopath. They can use other people, exploit them and then dump or dispose of them when they’re done, without feeling any guilt whatsoever.

Nadia Khan – Better Help



How to hurt a Narcissistic Sociopath?


Unfortunately, the manipulators do not stop the narcissistic abuse. 

It can be subtle.  Pay attention to what your children say to you, and act on it immediately.

Keep in mind, all rage will go to your children because you cannot be phased anymore by this demon.

You must teach your children how to put the armor of defense against this disorder, but you may have to suit them up along the way.

That means studying sociopath traits to know the difference between each personality.

Children are very smart, and all they need is one parent to look up to. 

It may seem at times they are against you, but be patient and watch as they always come back to the positive parent.

You provide the “place of protection” from all the negative talk they have been hearing, and let me tell you from experience:

The bond becomes much bigger when they realize they have that with you. 

However, it’s bittersweet.

I remember when my daughter was being turned against me and I couldn’t wait for her to resent her Mother. 

Now that it’s happening…

it’s heartbreaking to see a relationship crumble for nothing.



How do I deal with a narcissistic Sociopath?

They will suck all the happiness and joy you have in your life.

you don’t.

You will be depressed day after day trying to fix somebody that can’t be fixed. 

If you can turn around and walk away, just do it.
Unfortunately, when children are involved it isn’t so easy to walk away. 

If this is the case, you must protect your children from the subtle abuse immediately.

It’s not easy to ignore the narcissistic abuse, and inflicting opening deep childhood wounds is the main cause of child abuse.

This happens when you invest your wasted time in getting revenge on a narcissist.

I call it “damage control” which is a daily battle with my daughter’s narcissistic Mother and looking back, I wish I educated myself on the consequences.


Recover from emotional trauma

This incredibly practical guide teaches specific tactics to use when your emotions get out of control. Plenty of examples are given to illustrate how the techniques work, and a generous dose of humor is thrown in to make this an enjoyable read

narcissistic sociopath book

Narcissist co-parenting


Co-parenting with an egotistical self-involved person means to just be a team member in spite of them. 

This is crucial to protecting your children from certain rage explosions.
Attacks will come in various ways, such as:

Gaslighting
Smear campaigns
Narcissistic triangulation
Parental alienation

You will have to be tough and always think of your children. 

We know what happens when people are raised by Narcissists so that should be enough for you to be the better parent.

Of course, going no contact might not be possible. 

This is why using the Gray Rock Method has been my golden ticket. 

This enables you to communicate, but with no emotion.

Narcissistic Sociopaths will eventually become bored with your lack of emotion. 

Accordingly, dull responses will minimize the abuse that has trickled down to your children.

The main goal is to, “stroke the ego” of the other parent, but not too much. 

Set your boundaries, without telling them you have set boundaries.

A Narcissist feeds off of drama, manipulation, and of course getting you upset with their ridiculous demands. 

They love things to be easy bait, so if they have to work for it they will slowly leave you alone.

With that being said, they will be on to their next victim if they aren’t already. 

This is where your children will be in the next phase of abuse, the new partner and more parental alienation of pushing you out of the picture.


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Covert narcissist traits | Unforgiving behavior

Covert narcissistic personality  

Different levels of a narcissistic personality can range from less severe to extremely dangerous, and people with narcissistic behavior can be toxic for your mental health.   

Understanding covert narcissist traits is the most common to see when people fail to recover from narcissistic abuse.

Here are three of the most common :

1. Exhibitionist (Grandiose) Narcissist

When I first looked up covert narcissist traits for narcissistic personality this did not fit my former spouse.

However, I am happy that I kept reading into it.

The knowledge I was able to take in has helped me with narcissist parenting, which helped me put armor on our daughter and shielding her from the abuse.

Exhibitionists are common for the following:

  • No lack of insecurity
  • Want to be admired
  • They feel they are better than everyone around them, including friends and family. No shame, no regrets.
  • You are likely to know a bully, or perhaps a friend that is always talking down on somebody. Maybe even in your family. This narcissistic personality is very common and easy to spot.

2. Closet (covert) Narcissist

Unlike the former, a covert narcissist parent will want to be associated with somebody whom they admire

*It is important to understand how to protect you and your children from a frightening blowout*

3. Toxic (Malignant) Narcissistic Personality

  • The most dangerous, and abusive of all associated disorders
  • Show no empathy
  • No boundaries, known commonly to use children against their former spouses
  • Court is their playground with the ability to manipulate judges and lawyers
  • Gray rock method should be used when children are involved

Covert Narcissist Mother Traits

Firstly, while studies show that men are more narcissistic than women, covert narcissist traits in Mothers are rapidly becoming just as common.

And if you know anything about family court, you will know how children are pawns in a nasty court battle.

Mental health issues from this horrible upbringing are brought to adulthood, affecting their social relationships and even their work life.

covert narcissist

With that being said, there are many different levels of narcissism. 

Here are a few ways that covert narcissist traits will cause a Mother will abuse her kids:

Scapegoat

  • This abuse is the covert Mother living her past childhood through her narcissist child of being told she was never good enough. 

Neglect and two-faced.

  • Plays as a “Super Mom” in the public eye, but behind closed door pays little to no attention to their child.
  • Will often leave the child with other people because they feel their time is more important

Physical abuse

  • Can also re-live and imprint their unfortunate childhood with biting, scratching, punching, and more
  • It becomes subtle as soon as there is cause for a covert narcissist Mother being exposed. 

Emotional abuse

  • Blamed for everything
  • Teaches children to lie
  • Brainwashing 
  • Parental alienation

narcissistic personality types and the subtle chaos that is caused only means you may never find out that you are, or were, being abused by a self-involved manipulator.

On the other hand, you may just refuse to accept that you are being abused at all. 

Gaslighting parents have used this emotional abuse on their children for years because it usually goes unnoticed.

The reason for this is because it is extremely hard to see it happening to you. 

A Narcissist can make it seem like everything is your fault, leaving you in the dark and trying to help this person to see your way.


covert traits


This is what they want.

they have betrayed you and made you a victim of your empathy. 

With that being said, I didn’t understand the narcissistic meaning when I was told my child’s Mother is likely a Narcissist.

I looked it up later that day and it still didn’t fit her criteria as she wasn’t that “cocky” nor did she have much of an ego.

However, reality set in when I looked further into symptoms of narcissistic abuse, and the different levels of manipulation. 

For years I had been feeding a narcissistic mother syndrome disorder. 

Her supply to feed off of and she ate very well.

Understanding the difference between sociopath traits relative to your situation is crucial for protecting your child from the sadistic, and cold actions of a narcissistic personality.

If you feel you are dealing with somebody that has a mix of traits associated with two different disorders, it’s my advice to read up on a narcissistic Sociopath.


Research of narcissistic personality

More research on mental disorders associated with narcissism is crucial.

It is extremely destructive and it is ruining our society as a whole.

Masking the true battered meaning as the delusions enable people to use subtle parental alienation to create child abuse.


Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in every area of the narcissist’s life: from work and friendships to family and love relationships.
Melinda Smith, M.A. – HealthGuide.org


covert personality

The history of a manipulating mental disorder

The earliest heard about narcissistic personality and the sense of self-involvement is found in ancient Greek mythology, further explained by Kendra Cherry – author at Very Well Mind

Narcissistic personality disorder has its earliest roots in ancient Greek mythology. According to the myth, Narcissus was a handsome and proud young man. Upon seeing his reflection on the water for the first time, he became so enamored that he could not stop gazing at his own image. He remained at the water’s edge until he eventually wasted to death.

During the 1950s and 1960s, psychoanalysts Otto Kernberg and Heinz Kohut helped spark more interest in narcissism. In 1967, Kernberg described “narcissistic personality structure.” He developed a theory of narcissism that suggested three major types: normal adult narcissism, normal infantile narcissism, and pathological narcissism that can be of different types.


Adding to the above, in 1980 the narcissistic personality was finally recognized in the third edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder and criteria were established for its diagnosis.

However, very little has changed since that time.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to diagnose or even point fingers at somebody for the abuse. 

Not only is it subtle, but it’s also not taken seriously.



 

Different types of narcissistic personality

Not only have I experienced how delusional people with this mental disorder can be, but I have also experienced the child abuse that comes with it.

The system is unlikely to help you, and you will only waste money on lawyers pretending to care.

Protecting you and your children from the covert narcissist traits

Lastly, I had to learn the hard way of going about these demons. 

My former spouse was able to have a lot of her flying monkeys stand before the courtroom and make false accusations against me.

Subtle parental alienation from my child’s daycare and even false ministry calls to paint a bad picture.
Once you have wiped up all the blood off of yourself from being kicked down for no reason, it won’t take long before your children start being abused.



Why? 
Because you exposed the Narcissist for who they are, and you are not feeding them their sadistic narcissistic supply addiction anymore.  Now you must receive a delusional payback through your children.

Contact us now if you are going through this, because minimizing and pinpointing the abuse is best to start early.

trust me.

A manipulating, bitter, spiteful, and out-of-control Narcissist will do anything to keep you from your flesh and blood. 

They will do it with a smile.
Don’t wait for them to change, it’s not in their plans to get back with an ex 

Protect your mental health, and listen to your children when they tell you something is wrong
You are not dealing with anybody normal.

expect the worst

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Empathic Narcissist | The mask in a pandemic


False empathy, a mask and COVID-19


It seems like an oxymoron to say, “Empathic Narcissist” but there actually are people that can hold these two traits together.

Does this mean that a Narcissist can hold even the slightest amount of empathy?

That would be going against everything I have talked about.

There absolutely can be, it just depends on what type of empathy the narcissist has.

During a pandemic, a Narcissist can lure you in very easily. Your emotions in a panic will make you believe anything.

With that being said, an empathic narcissist cannot hold any level of love to people around them unless it benefits them.

Even then, you will still get discarded quickly after.

Think about it. We all have something we true and love to a certain point.

Black babies, puppies, dolphins etc. Those are easy feelings for a narcissist to grab.

They might show signs like this to lure you in, because you would think a Narcissist would never have such emotion.

And you haven’t seen somebody act so kind in so long!

Yawn.

And that’s why the poor Empaths are like magnets to a Narcissist. Easy narcissistic supply to feed off of until you get boring, dull and discarded yet again.



A covert narcissist knows
how to play with empathy


If you know anything about narcissistic personalities, you can understand how a covert narcissist would play an empathy role like a champ.

This Narcissist does a heck of a lot of image management, and is usually extremely strategic in how to make their self look virtuous, generous, caring, and loving. This type of Narcissist is aware of their ability to be hurt and wounded, and knows they have some level of early childhood trauma they walk around with.

Dr. Ava Pommerenk

Be aware of being caught in some sort of love-bombing by your Narcissist as they use this pandemic for their own good.

Sometimes it’s hard to not see the ridiculous manipulations that they will use. Children will likely be used as a negotiating tool.

I have to remind myself every day and I constantly catch myself believing my daughter’s Mother on one of her rants. They are too good.

Personally, I fell for the manipulations many times in the past.

However, it feels good to be at a place where I always remember:

A Narcissist will always be a Narcissist

I hope you all stay safe out there.

Worried about handling a Narcissist?

Use the time you are stuck by COVID-19 to build your mental health with online therapy. Or gain exclusive tips that will change your life by clicking below!

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Female narcissist revenge and manipulation

Narcissistic abuse and personality disorders

The hidden scars deep down inside you that nobody wants to hear about is just one of a million reasons to get revenge on a narcissist.

These emotional manipulators seem to have secret techniques to draw you back into their toxic world of narcissist abuse. Click To Tweet

Narcissistic supply is always the goal for any narcissistic personality  They are nothing without it.

Unfortunately, this involves love bombing.


What is love bombing?

Precious and convincing sweet talk or amazing gifts to lure you in

Shortly after, an unexpected massive blow to your self-worth and confidence as they violently devalue and discard you.

The cycle will repeat and victims of the manipulative abuse make people stay in a relationship with the narcissist because they are addicted to the emotional rollercoaster.

female narcissist revenge

Best revenge when divorcing a narcissist

If you are divorcing your partner in court, you are going to need to learn the techniques of emotional manipulators.

The mask of a narcissist might seem obvious to you by now, but don’t think for a second that others will see the same as you.


When rejected, as when you ask for a divorce or fall in love with someone else, your narcissistic soon-to-be-ex will quite possibly get aggressive and downright scary. Narcissists, when they feel unwanted, don’t run away from hurting innocent people, like your children.

Marriage.com


Narcissists will take your power and strength in a mental health fight to the death, you will need to learn how to outplay a narcissist at their own game.

Unfortunately, they won’t break a sweat as they have manipulated lawyers and even judges against you.

The power of a covert narcissist should not be taken lightly.


Revenge on a narcissist in divorce court?

Learn More about the corruption of judges in divorce court and what your ex-spouse’s lawyer will hide from you for a “win” to make you lose everything you have


how to get revenge on a narcissistic sociopath


How to get revenge on a narcissistic Sociopath


It’s no secret that there are many dangerous traits in a narcissistic Sociopath, so you will want to approach getting revenge with care.

Not only do these narcissist demons lack empathy, but they also have the added grandiose self-admiration.

This is a deadly mix of destruction.

You need to get away from these sadistic people and do not try to help them or change them.

With that being said, here are other ways of getting revenge on a narcissistic Sociopath:

  • Ignore them and stay no contact
  • Raise awareness on your experience to help others
  • Live your life and stay busy doing the things you love
  • Be successful
  • Be happy knowing a sociopath couldn’t make you their pathetic victim for life. And they definitely will.


Seeking female narcissist revenge and injury


It is very easy to unknowingly abuse your children at the hands of a female Narcissist that is causing you pain in family court.

You know you are the better parent, and your children should see the demon that you finally exposed.

Narcissist no contact revenge is the first thing on your mind?

The game of learning the tactics for revenge on a narcissist to get even with crushing revenge is a battle you might pull your family into.

Emotions will make you so heartless you won’t even see a child’s emotional pain.

Rightfully so, you might obsessively force feed this to your kids in hopes for your sanity to finally return.

Your intentions might mean well, but over-doing this is extremely damaging to a child.

You are forcing them to pick sides between two people they love. The unfortunate thing is that they still love the narcissistic parent

This will only turn against you as the Narcissist uses you as their puppet to play the “victim” game; painting your picture as the crazy one….again.

This puts you back to square one.

Instead, get the ultimate facts on how to get even with your narcissist and handle manipulation\

Get the untold truth now, and go even further with revenge.

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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery | emotional trauma

What does narcissistic abuse do to you?


Recovering from physical abuse in a relationship is a tough thing to do, to say the least, but have you ever tried to go through narcissistic abuse recovery?

recover from narcissistic abuse


It’s lonely. 

The aftermath of narcissistic abuse will have you running in circles trying to fill emotional voids.

Putting on bandaids on scars you can’t even explain to other people unless they have gone through the same experience.

You will hear the following things said to you, over and over, and will drive you mad as you go through narcissistic abuse recovery:

  • Move on
  • Get over it
  • Man up
  • There’s plenty of better people out there
  • Get out and go have some drinks
  • You’ll be fine

Here’s a fun fact: The people that are saying these statements have not been in the narcissistic abuse cycle by a Narcissist as you have, because all of these statements don’t work on your recovery long term.

They might temporarily make you feel better, but in the long run, feelings after narcissistic abuse will only worsen as you push the feelings deep down inside.

The storm is slowly brewing for the explosion that you may or may not have already experienced.

You don’t feel like yourself.

You have gotten over exes before but it just wasn’t this hard.

The reason?

Being trauma bonded to the narcissist and a couple of drinks with some friends won’t be enough to fix your situation.

If you have a difficult, selfish, and unemotionally available loved one and feel like you have less self-confidence, have less independence, or have given up your family, friends, hobbies, or a career for this person, you may be dealing with narcissistic abuse.

Center for anxiety disorders

abuse recovery

How do you recover from narcissistic abuse?

I have been a victim of narcissistic abuse myself, and it is not easy to recover on your own. 

Luckily, I have my daughter, the main reason for my existence, by my side as I read through different books of narcissism in my journey to find out how to outplay a narcissist.

For years her narcissistic mother was always one step ahead of me, no matter what I did. 

I even got to the point of inflicting narcissistic injury when my emotions got the best of me.

With that being said, plenty of mistakes only made my narcissistic abuse syndrome a lot worse.  Here are 4 ways to get through your narcissistic abuse recovery:

1. Take responsibility

  • Understand what you have been through, and accept the fact you went through it.
  • A Narcissist can play the game well, and you lost.  Don’t dwell on the fact that this person never existed.
  • You are also responsible for your health, and your children’s health as you go through narcissistic abuse recovery.

2. Realizing you aren’t crazy

  • You will come to the realization that you were dealing with a narcissist, but people always end up staying in the crazy mindset
  • Take a minute to let your brain process the fact that you aren’t crazy, and you were being abused
  • Narcissists are very good at playing mind tricks long after the relationship.  This is especially true if you have children, as they will continue the abuse through parental alienation.

3. Getting out of Denial

  • It is normal for you to stalk the Narcissist after the relationship has ended because you still can’t believe it’s over.  
  • This will only slow your recovery because you are putting your brain on the wrong signals, instead of the right pathway of self-care.

Narcissistic triangulation will continue to slow your recovery, as you will obsess on trying to make people see the Narcissist’s true face.  Do not waste your time on this, they will not listen to you.

online therapy

4. Therapy and mental support

  • While friends and family can provide support, it’s best to get a real professional that has studied narcissistic personality disorder.
  • Mental health support is important for narcissistic abuse recovery because of how subtle the abuse can be
  • Online therapy is becoming the newest support group to go to, as it is confidential and can be used in court for any claims of abuse.  Skipping expensive line-ups without leaving your house is the newest bonus as technology rises in our time.
  • Leaving your house can be a struggle, no matter how much abuse you have endured.  It’s important to stay away from any negative people until you are strong enough. 
  • Being hoovered by a Narcissist is also common when trying to recover from narcissistic abuse.

abuse recovery

How do I deal with a Narcissist?

Gaining the knowledge of how to deal with a narcissist is important on your road to recovery. 

I have made mistakes along the way, and I hope you don’t have to.

Study the disorder, and learn how to avoid the abuse in every way possible.  Education is your best friend, and you may find yourself obsessing over your new knowledge.

This is a good thing.

Every piece of information you learn will keep you away from manipulation tactics that have been set up by your Narcissist, who only wants to see you become another victim of narcissistic abuse symptoms.

As you gain knowledge, you will be able to spread the word about the destruction of a narcissistic personality disorder and help others get through the lonely road of a narcissistic abuse recovery through your own negative experience that you turn to a positive.

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Narcissistic mother syndrome | Toxic emotional abuse

What is narcissistic Mother Syndrome?

A narcissistic parent is somebody that has a narcissistic personality disorder, and possessively close to their children in the most damaging ways you can possibly think of. 

Narcissistic mother syndrome is exactly that, and the need for power at the expense of the children is tragic.

Control becomes much more apparent to children when the Father has already been a victim of parental alienation, but in the public eye nobody would ever expect any kind of narcissistic mother abuse.

Children only know a parent to be doing things the right way.  Often at young ages, it is very easy for a child to follow in her footsteps as narcissistic children when they are raised by narcissists.

With that being said, only a few will be able to break the emotional manipulation and not become a victim to the treacherous narcissistic mother control themselves.

I find it hard to sympathize with a Father that left his children because “she was crazy” when I’m on the battlefield protecting my daughter every day.

There has to be somebody to teach them a healthy mindset because each and every second away from the abusive narcissistic Mother syndrome is critical for their mental health.

I can’t say it will be easy, often times you will be abused by narcissistic triangulation who join in on the abuse and cater to the abuse

“What toxic parents all have in common is their inability to provide their children with a safe, nurturing, and loving environment. If they are narcissistically abusive, they are without empathy and sometimes even conscience. This type of ruthless behavior has a damaging impact on our early development as well as the way we navigate the world as adults.”

Shahida Arabi

“Female narcissists do not grow out of their childhood aggression; eerily enough, they evolve into even more effective aggressive behaviors in adulthood, using their manipulative tactics to serve their selfish agendas and to exploit others.”

Thought Catalog

narcissistic mother syndrome

How to protect a child from narcissistic mother syndrome


A major factor in minimizing and ultimately ending the abuse is a ”no contact” with the abuser.  This works great.

How can you be abused if you have no contact with the source of pain?

The problem with cutting off communication in a court dispute means you will have to stop seeing your children. Not only stop seeing your children, but they will also be brainwashed against you.

You might not care, but the abandonment only adds to the problem with these disorders in the future. The narcissistic mother syndrome is not easy to understand when trauma bonding is taking the best of you.

The Gray Rock Method has been the best way to protect my child from an abusive narcissistic mother.

With that being said, narcissistic abuse symptoms vary depending on each situation. Likewise, going no contact is the best way to go if no children are involved. I envy you if you are only protecting yourself from this unfortunate disorder.



Narcissistic Mother syndrome – dealing with a sociopath ex 

If your manipulative former spouse suggests to not go through court, I recommend you do not agree to this

If you are absolutely sure you are dealing with narcissism or any disorder of this level, I highly suggest you do not take this tempting offer.

It’s understandable you want this person to get better.

However, people also forget how cold a Narcissist can be.  If you want your child’s mental health to be stable you need to read this vital information.

With that being said, co-parenting with somebody that has narcissistic mother syndrome is exhausting.

I am now in a comfortable place to share my experiences of what you should do and absolutely should not do.

What if you don’t have a court agreement?


A family must be completely civil towards each other and have a huge amount of trust in each other if an agreement is not through the court.

This is because:

  • The abuser can move far enough away to alienate you.
  • Completely disappear without police enforcement
  • Start a court order in a different province where you don’t exist
  • If you are a Father: a false allegation can have you arrested much easier than if you have an official order. 

The narcissistic mother will go for retroactive child support for any amount, at any time. It is irrelevant to the fact you, ”agreed” to an amount that you paid to her.

The judge could look at that as a ”gift” to them.

Information about your child will be harder to receive as court documents about a child will always be taken into consideration. 

Of course, I will explain further below when it was soon shown to me that court documents won’t even matter in a complex triangulation abuse battle between parents and third parties.

the backlash from narcissistic mother syndrome


The following things will suddenly happen to purposely throw you off: 

  • You are going to see malicious narcissistic rage in court at its highest form.  How dare you ”make them look bad” or ”get what you want” You can prevent the exaggerated rage by not inflicting narcissistic injury
  • You are going to see the person you once knew, and they might even apologize; a relief that the family can finally put themselves back together

If apologies are thrown your way, throw them right back…in a nice way.  There are never good intentions for you when it comes to a Narcissist unless it benefits them of course.

narcissistic mother syndrome

I believe that a narcissistic Mother is just who they are now, and you must accept that fact. They are geniuses at what they do, and I back my statement up even more now. Move on

A narcissistic Mother will get their ”fuel” from an ex-spouse with ease in family court. The child at this point is in a dangerous position. You do not want to fall deep into this sadistic trap of ”parent vs parent” circus at family court.

Rise of shared parenting cases in court with narcissistic mothers

It’s a true fact: shared parenting has been the outcome of more family cases as of late. Unfortunately, the genius and hidden narcissistic personality disorder has once again crashed the party

A narcissistic Mother will use a 50/50 shared agreement against you in a million ways. They have perfected subtle parental alienation to cause damage behind the scenes.

I have had every single narcissistic manipulation against me in court. I will start with the most lethal way as it has ruined too many involved parents, and I myself lost parenting time because of the unforgiving “Ex Parte” order.

narcissistic mother book


How to deal with the ex-parte order in court


I have been a victim of this malicious order myself.  It is highly abused. 

Of course, it will be used by a narcissistic Mother to alienate the other parent as it is a one-sided order that can have you arrested and charged without notice.

These orders by definition are ‘without notice’ orders. This means that your spouse will have no idea that you are going to Court to get an order against them. Many spouses take advantage of this procedure because they know their ex does not know about them and cannot defend against them.

YLaw Blog

You may have this order against you right now.  If you even slightly think you may, don’t contact the ex-spouse. 

With that being said, you must protect yourself from being a victim of such an unconstitutional order. 

Here are the most important things to note :

  • Any female can get this order just by showing any sort of ”fear” to a judge.
  • A judge almost always signs this order.  Why? because a narcissistic Mother is a good actor, but how hard can it really be?
  • If you contact the abuser directly or indirectly in any way you will have a warrant out for your arrest.
  • Don’t bother with your proof until you prove your innocence months later, once released.
  • Get a criminal lawyer immediately.

Further narcissistic Mother syndrome court trouble


Manipulations, tantrums, and childish acts never end.  You must identify your nightmare as it is the only way to protect yourself from completely losing your mind, and ultimately losing your children.

It is best to just get used to the games that will be played to get a rise out of you.  For example:

  • Showing up to drop off the child late
  • Not showing up with the child at drop off at all
  • Court harassment (excessive applications with short notice)
  • Financial abuse
  • False allegations
  • Child care providers may help alienate you from being involved with your children.  This is where I first learned about the complex narcissistic triangulation.  It was not a happy time for myself or my daughter.
  • Daycare will likely side with the abuser, as they have been brainwashed behind your back for a long time.
  • Child care providers will also not follow court orders, regardless of any court order.  They may abuse your child behind closed doors, just because they can.  A circle of applications is what you will find yourself in, as you quietly are pushed out of the duties for your children.
  • Not answering emails, texts, or any message regarding your children

If you are not receiving a response after two emails, texts, or phone calls then stop and file court papers. 

Three or more messages will be turned on you as, ”harassment” and if they have a lawyer they will join in on the bullying.

All these abusive tactics may cause you to wonder how to outplay a narcissist, but it’s important to keep your cool.

Document everything, and gradually rise to a 50/50 agreement.

This will be your time to strike on the abuse, as you will have a footprint as a Father in the system

How to protect your child from narcissistic mother syndrome


Everything mentioned I have personally been through. 

  • False allegations resulting in criminal charges
  • I took a child care provider to court for abuse and neglect
  • alienation was attempted on me from all angles.

You have to make sure to focus on your children’s mental health instead of the other parent, no matter how hard it may be.

It can go sideways very quickly if children do not have the proper path to walk on.

You can only blame yourself if mental issues suddenly come to light as your children grow up, because they won’t tell you that you are hurting them with every word they hear about the narcissistic mother

I made a lot of mistakes on the journey to bring my daughter home, but she is finally home.  After protecting my daughter from all the abusive narcissistic Mother personalities, our bond is so much bigger.

I can finally thank my chosen Narcissist for something.  Just kidding, why would I want to feed the abuse?  I learned a long time ago that my child’s narcissistic Mother will not change. Your female narcissist friend won’t change either.

Patience and understanding of this disorder are crucial for my daughter to learn how to protect herself from her own flesh and blood. 

I was able to do it while she had no voice, and I hope you can take this information and save your children from abuse as well.

You don’t have to do it alone either sign up for online therapy and get your support now!

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Narcissistic Abuse Cycle | Abusive Pattern

The pattern of the narcissistic abuse cycle


A relationship with a Narcissist will begin as the honeymoon phase where you will believe you have found your soulmate.

Unfortunately, the good sex and love-bombing will slowly deplete as the realization comes that you are stuck in a narcissistic abuse cycle.

You will likely have gone through many narcissistic abuse recovery attempts with cycles of abuse before you finally get out of the sadistic spell of denial that has been maliciously planned by your former spouse’s gaslighting.

flower

Promises of a future together, your mutual likes and dislikes and a similar childhood between the two of you might seem like it’s too good to be true. 

Let me be the first to tell you…

It is 

This is all just an image of themselves that is painted perfectly just for you.  It’s all used to lure you in for a big kick in the arse.

It’s not personal.  If it wasn’t you, it would be a picture painted for somebody else’s likes and dislikes.

Unfortunately, you got yourself sucked into the nasty void of a good for nothing Narcissist, didn’t you?

Much like the narcissistic rage cycle that is at the end stages, it’s frightening to see and it all comes together as an abusive pattern.

In my experience, my co-parenting nightmare used many of the same tactics that we shared various things in common such as:

  • Childhood experiences
  • Music
  • Hobbies
  • Starting a family
  • Food

We have nothing in common.  The mask that was put on was played so well, I still have a hard time believing she was able to play such a good game at luring me in with lies.

I eventually took the proper steps on how to deal with narcissism without the backlash.

Having a child was her best way of taking tiny jabs at me for life, and I can tell you she did not want to have a child.  The child is nothing more than a negotiating tool and a source of fuel to keep her going.

If you have a child, I am so sorry. I know people that have children with a narc, and their children are in danger. So, if you have a child and your with a narc, or you’ve been with a narc, Run, run and hide and protect yourself, protect your child because it’s hard enough for the adult that I watched in Youtube to have had this experience but to me I think its the children that I hear more, more and more stories of how their parents turned them into something for the rest of their lives.

Narcissist Abuse Support

With that being said, here are the stages of a narcissistic abuse cycle that comes in every relationship with a Narcissist.

abuse cycle

Idealize stage of narcissistic abuse

The very first stage to becoming a victim of the narcissistic abuse cycle, and it’s very hard to see it at first.  This is especially true depending on the type of narcissist you are dealing with.
Besides love-bombing and great sex, here are some more typical red flags and sayings of being idealized in a toxic relationship:

  • We have so much in common
  • Same aspirations
  • Insecurities
  • You are the most beautiful
  • You are nothing like my exes
  • I got treated badly by my exes as well
  • We are soul mates
  • I don’t know what I would do without you
  • Keep in mind that these do not automatically make yourself in a narcissistic abuse relationship, but these terms will be used on you numerous times.

You will have to take a step back and look at the true intentions of this person.

It’s very easy to believe you have found the one, but it’s a lot harder to recover from the painful experience from narcissistic abuse syndrome

You were picked by this soul-sucking leech because you had empathy and compassion, and a Narcissist needs this on the daily.

It’s important to look at their past victims, the poor exes they talked so badly about might not be so evil.


narcissistic abuse cycle

Devalue stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle


The second stage is when it seems to knock you off guard, and your mind can’t fully understand what is happening.

This is because you are just coming out of the extasy stage of an amazing relationship.

You will be hit hard, but not quite as hard as the next stage.

Devaluing in a relationship can take many different forms so it’s hard to point exactly how it will be done to you.

With that being said, it always starts as a little joke here and there but will then gain momentum and come full swing.

Opening childhood wounds can happen in this stage when you don’t tend to their needs.  Seeking revenge can put you in an even worse bind if you don’t act the proper way.

Nonetheless, here are the common things that will happen in the devalue stage:

  • belittling
  • criticizing
  • sex comes to a halt
  • blame game
  • everything you do irritates them
  • things you used to enjoy they hate
  • attention and admiration is gone
  • not invited to events
  • they become cold and distant

These will all come slowly, and you will be hesitant to react to it.

By now, they have already brainwashed you into thinking this is normal and/or it is because of something you have done.

The final, coldest stage of them all is up next

discard

Discard in the narcissistic abuse cycle


The final stage in this toxic relationship cycle is when you are discarded by the Narcissist.  Thrown out.  Ditched

Erased.

You will suddenly be tossed away like you never existed, and this is the part that some people don’t even recover from.

Why?

Because of the emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs your brain just can’t understand the concept of reality.

You will be begging for them back because you thought that they were the only one for you.

abuse cycle

Unfortunately, they are long gone.

They were over you a while ago, and you are now at the perfect place for the Narcissist..on your hands and knees as they have already jumped onto their next victim for narcissistic supply.

They are bored with you, and you have given them all that they needed.

It was never about you, it has always been about them.

At last, here are the common things to see in a cold discard in a narcissistic abuse cycle:

  • lying about having a new boyfriend/girlfriend
  • abusive triangulation
  • showing off their new supply
  • smear campaigns against you
  • hiding their phone messages
  • silent treatment
  • the mask completely comes off showing you who they are
  • parental alienation

Being discarded is one of the coldest moments you will likely experience in your life, and it can change you for the worst or the better.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t even realize that they were abused and don’t ever end up recovering.

Narcissistic abuse recovery


Recovering from a narcissistic abuse cycle is not easy, and the scars can be so subtle that your friends and family might shrug you off.

People will be sick of hearing you talk about it to the point you will once again start thinking you are going crazy.

This means the Narcissist still has a stronghold on your mental health.

It’s better to recover now instead of later because I have seen the strongest minds fall to this torture.

The best thing to realize is that it happened to you because of the empathy you have.  Don’t let a Narcissist take this from you.

Instead, kill them with kindness.

Let them go, they are dead to you as you are to them.  Every moment you think about them, think about the real person they are and turn it into a positive.

I guarantee with a little practice you will never fall victim to another Narcissist, and your next partner will be the one you imagined once upon a time…

Instead, they will be the real thing.

I know it will be tough to love again, but take it slow.  Take your time and observe people so you never get caught in the narcissistic abuse cycle again.
Over time you will be back to yourself and become picky about who treats you like you should be treated.

Don’t stay in denial.  Spread the word about your experiences and be happy you got away because the trails of victims from a Narcissist is heartbreaking.

What doesn’t kill you makes you 1000x times stronger.

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Narcissistic parenting | Codependency symptoms

Narcissistic Mother and subtle possessive abuse

First, if you are engaged with the all-mighty entitlement of an adult child AKA narcissistic parenting, you are in for an emotional roller coaster with codependency.

The first step in getting things back on track is to understand the meaning of a codependent relationship. Experts say it’s a pattern of behavior in which you find yourself dependent on approval from someone else for your self-worth and identity.

WebMD

Self-involvement is all over a shared parenting custody agreement so be ready for extra power trips and temper tantrums.

With that being said, the faster you realize you are the only one that loves your own children, the better off your whole family is.

Malicious ex-spouse manipulations will go to every degree of fake love, and even though you unmasked the demon for your own peace of mind, you better believe your children are already entangled in an abusive cycle.

Although, if they aren’t already… they are really close as to be the new source of narcissistic supply.

Abusive traits end up with the children

In my personal experience with a narcissistic mother, our daughter became a punching bag and a “chore” shortly after I decided to outplay the narcissist right back at her

I was not feeding the usual supply that was being pulled out of me all those years.

Narcissistic rage in court caused the mask of fake love to come off, but our daughter still wouldn’t and couldn’t accept the fact her loving Mother is just not so loving anymore.

Be prepared for this with narcissist parenting as it happens very quickly.

 

Subtle abuse on children of narcissistic parents


Unfortunately, I unknowingly inflicted injury from tragic childhood memories in a narc parent to uncover all the lies that were said about me to keep me from our daughter. 

Secondly, if you are in a court-ordered split “guardianship” (custody) agreement, don’t think for a second those orders will always be followed or even enforced.

Delusional mindsets in the world of a codependent narcissist is not easy for anybody in the line of fire.

Walking on eggshells is a given and also involves you doing your homework on naturally letting your ex-spouse know your boundaries, without actually letting them know. 

If you don’t do this properly it could leave you with an abuse syndrome, and recovering from this is extremely hard to do.

webmmasters

It is common see a narcissistic mother do the follow things:

  • Paint a bad image of you at the children’s school and/or daycare move 
  • Stop you from receiving injury reports about the child, and information about people who are authorized to pick up the child.

These two things often go unnoticed until you actually try to receive these reports.

A shared agreement in court will do nothing for you, as daycare and schools are protected when the narcissistic parent claims it is a “safety” issue for themselves and the child.

Furthermore, narcissistic mother symptoms will show with a smark while manipulating the children by:

  • not involve you in children’s activities (swimming lessons, dance class etc)
  • brainwash the child to dislike any activities you do with them
  • have the child call a new partner “mommy” or “daddy” as a way to alienate you
  • refuse to drop children off as per a court order.  A common “victim” and “fearful” tactic will always be used.
  • Create a narcissistic triangulation against you

This may ring a bell for quite a lot of people:

The children were frightened to go to their Fathers house, I made a decision on the fact that they were scared and I have to protect the children

This will quickly open a ministry file that must be investigated. 

Chances are likely you will have lost time with your children until the file is closed which can take many months. 

They love to take their time because every second will count when parental alienation has been initiated

With that being said, a common tactic with narcissist parenting is to keep you away from your children. 

Ultimately, this will drive you mentally to crazy town; a destination your ex-spouse, her lawyer, and social workers from MCFD wait patiently on your arrival. 

You will be called crazy and unfit to parent even to the point of believing it yourself.  

online therapy

How to deal with narcissistic parents


It is virtually impossible to truly co-parent with someone who has no understanding of teamwork. Instead, you need to focus on co-parenting in spite of a narcissist, with an emphasis on insulating yourself and your children from the narcissist’s manipulation and rage.

Amy Guertin Licensed Counselor

Indeed, the best way to co-parent with a Narcissist is with the Gray Rock Method. 

From my experience, it has minimized a lot of abuse on our daughter that I unknowingly fed into.

Your number one priority should be your children. 

Now that your ex-spouse’s true self has been revealed to you, it’s time to protect your children from the abuse as well. 

If you are not careful, your child will continue the cycle of being raised by narcissists; you will be part of the growing problem instead of the solution

Narcissist parenting and their child abuse can be extremely subtle and even turned onto the protector, rather than the abuser. 

These are common sociopath traits.

I have been to court with too many applications only to have it turned around and suddenly I am on the defence. 

Don’t waste your time on a system that will ignore child abuse and mental disorders for the greed of money and control.

How to overcome codependency symptoms


I ignored a lot of the bad talk I heard about me from my ex-spouse, but my daughter was fed a lot of lies and heard nothing from me. 

I figured this was the best thing to do. However, she started to not believe certain things I told her.

My daughter told me her mother doesn’t smoke because “good people don’t smoke” and as petty as it might sound, I insisted that her Mother smokes and she didn’t still believe a word I said. 

This is frustrating, as I realized my daughter is following her Mother’s footsteps.  Not on my watch.

When I dropped her off I was sure to drive by the pillar her Mother quickly smokes by before picking up our daughter. 

The look on my daughter’s face was priceless, and she believes every word I say now.  It is important to understand the manipulation of Sociopath traits because you could very well be doing the wrong things in the world of narcissist parenting.

With that being said, here are ways to protect your children from the sadistic delusions and the unforgiving abuse:

  • You cannot ignore the abusive parent’s actions and words against you. 
  • Don’t bash the other parent, but you have to find a way to make them see the manipulations and fake love.
  • Show empathy to everybody. 
  • Hold doors open for people, throw that homeless person some change. 
  • You will be amazed at how much your children follow the good feeling of empathy.
  • Listen to your children.  Everything.  Children talk in short sentences and sometimes they just want somebody to listen to them.

At last, nobody wants to co-parent with a Narcissist. 

However, in order for us to create a better world and have our children grow up and be the best parents they can be, we have to sacrifice every ounce of energy for them. 

In my opinion, narcissistic parenting is not the greatest journey. However, regardless of a codependent narcissist’s actions, the smile on my daughter every time she comes to me is worth it. Never give up.

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Trauma bonding with a Narcissist | toxic abusive relationships

What does trauma bonding with a narcissist mean?


Emotional abuse is extremely hard to grasp when you are stuck in a toxic cycle of fake love when trauma bonding with a narcissist. 

It could be right in your face but you will still deny it no matter how much of an abusive triangle you are in.

Even if you are looking at it from outside the abusive relationship, it is unlikely you will understand somebody’s painful experience with a covert narcissist.

Becoming trauma bonded is complicated as you are held hostage to a Narcissist’s sadistic control of you. 

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are known to pull trauma bonding off like nobody’s business.

trauma bonding

Ultimately, you will crave the highs of the emotional roller coaster that will leave you with lonely illness

Recovery will seem next to impossible to achieve once you are in too deep.
In fact, delusions will begin to set in your mind that you are the actual abuser and not the victim. 

You won’t admit that you feel you would be nothing without them.


Bonding grows with spending time together, living together, eating together, making love together, having children together, and being together during stress or difficulty. Bad times bond people as strongly as good times, perhaps more so.
AbuseAndRelationships


         

Picturing a life without them gives you the shivers, doesn’t it?  A frightening feeling you just don’t want to have.

Walking on eggshells is common for you now, it’s not a big deal to just keep them happy.

Being alone from them is something you choose to avoid.

Unfortunately, you are more alone with them than without them.  Think about it. 

You are in love with a person you think is that person.  However, this is only a hallucination from the constant mental abuse you receive.

You are trapped in a sadistic spell played by the Narcissist, and it has been maliciously planned against you for a long time. 

You were chosen by them for a reason, they were jealous of your self-esteem.

Don’t let them continue to batter your self-worth and make you forget who you really are.

You will only become another casualty.  Do a little research, you will see there are only victims in their past as they are not capable of truly loving another person.

trauma bonding

What is narcissistic victim syndrome?

You can spend all day reading about narcissism and be completely on the wrong track.

There’s simply not enough noise about it for a doctor to actually diagnose you.

With that being said, there’s also too much noise from people that have no idea what it actually means to be triangularly abused by a Narcissist.

Also known as narcissistic abuse syndrome, common symptoms of narcissistic victim syndrome include the following:

  • Feeling worthless
  • unable to trust people you are usually able to (parents, family members)
  • idealizing the Narcissist
  • Making excuses for abusive actions by the Narcissist
  • Feeling alone
  • Unable to perform regular duties
  • questioning yourself

Narcissistic abuse syndrome exhibits many of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), to include:

  • Intrusive thoughts or memories
  • Physical and emotional reactions to reminders of the trauma
  • Nightmares and flashbacks (feeling as if the event is happening again)
  • Avoidance thoughts, people or situations associated with the trauma
  • Negative thoughts about self and world, cynical about people in general
  • Blaming self for the trauma, often distorted that does not make sense
  • Sense of detachment or isolation from other people
  • Difficulty concentrating and, or sleeping

Why does narcissistic trauma bonding occur?


It is a subtle and abusive way for a Narcissist to control their victim, without getting caught.

We all know that exposure is something that would create shame, and this is something that they will go to no end to prevent.

Think twice before exposing your Narcissist, as it will bring out uncontrollable rage.  I learned the hard way, so maybe you don’t have to.

This is also important when children are involved because if they can’t get to you, you better believe they are their next target.

You might think that they love their children, so they wouldn’t do something to harm their own flesh and blood.  You have seen the love yourself so it’s real.

Wrong.

A child is nothing more than a negotiating tool and a way to make themselves look like a super parent on social media.

However, with the doors closed and nobody watching it is nothing but neglect and emotional abuse by these malicious parents

The children can also believe this is completely normal, so they will not talk about it.

Children are not safe from the trauma bonding themselves, and it will affect them for the rest of their life.

How to get help for trauma bonding with a narcissist


Getting help for narcissistic abuse is not as easy because it involves a lot of patience, setting boundaries, and much more.

You will need support from the people around you.  While this is important, it is a very lonely recovery.

People will actually get sick of hearing your same sad stories, simply because a Narcissist can make you look like a cry baby.

They have tools in their belts that you have no chance against.  You don’t want the abusive tools they have, you don’t want anything they hold.

They may seem like the confident type, happy and even outgoing when you see them.  However, they hate themselves every day. 

That’s why you were chosen, they didn’t like the way you handle yourself.

They live a life with a mask that is extremely exhausting to put on each and every day.  It is a full-time job to do the destruction they cause.

Teaming up with online therapy, we have helped numerous people get back to themselves. 

it used to be a struggle to get people to go and receive help.
This is understandable because victims tend to stay in their homes, trapped from abusive manipulation and unable to go out in the public.

This all changed when I sent people to online therapy, where they are currently getting help, and progressing from the comfort of their own home. 

Awesome!

Don’t feel shame, it’s hard to cope with something that is so hard to see from the average person. 

Take the experience of dealing with these sick and twisted demons and turn it to a positive.

After a couple of sessions, you will finally start to see your recovery.  The keyword is, “start” because it doesn’t happen overnight. 

However, at least you will finally understand that you are not the problem.

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Covert narcissist traits | the quiet narcissistic personality

What is covert narcissism?


People have been throwing the words “narcissistic personality” around so much that a person with covert narcissist traits can blend into a crowd even easier.

Unlike the usual symptoms of NPD such as:

  • grandiose
  • arrogance
  • lack of empathy
  • need for admiration
  • entitlement

a covert narcissist does not show the usual behavior you would see in somebody that is craving for attention

covert traits

Understanding narcissism is complex and going by what you see in movies and TVs can put you down the wrong path of proper knowledge.

The more information you are able to receive, the better you will be at learning the art of dealing with a narcissist.

With that being said, a covert will show the following unusual symptoms you would not commonly see in a narcissist:

  • Shyness
  • Sensitivity
  • Quiet
  • Vulnerable
covert personality

overt personality


You will be able to point out somebody with an overt narcissistic personality much quicker than the former covert narcissist.

overt traits in narcissism are much more obvious. They are the following:

  • outgoing
  • will rage and demand admiration
  • insensitive
  • constantly blame others
  • drain people in relationships smug
  • will do whatever it takes to gain sympathy
rage personality

covert narcissist mother traits


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However, behind closed doors, the relationship between the mother and their family is competitive and filled with emotional gaslighting.

A competition that involves one person, and one parent only.

A covert narcissist mother will make sure that the children’s job is to succeed.

Unfortunately, it is only to be successful in making her look good.

If this fails, punishment will be full of rage, shame and guilt on the children who grow up with this being their only job through childhood.

Anxiety and depression tend to build up for a child, but only a few are able to understand the need for a support group when they have become an adult.

Luckily, technology has made it possible to minimize the burden to get help and treatment with a convenient therapist.

The lack of being taught independence takes a heavy hit to a person’s self-esteem.

It’s very clear to see how subtle manipulation is so damaging to a child’s growing mental health.

Like a nick from an extra sharp razor, you don’t know you’ve been cut until you see the blood running down your leg.

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