Narcissistic triangulation psychology | personality disorders

narcissistic triangulation
narcissists will control a relationship with triangulation

What is relationship triangulation?

First, to understand how to deal with a narcissist you have to understand narcissistic behavior in a relationship with a covert narcissist.

Narcissistic triangulation involves three people with indirect actions and communication that form a vicious triangle of subtle abusers.

In my experience, I had the pleasure of being triangulated as a victim to my daughter’s childcare. 

Keep in mind that I had no idea that my former spouse had signs of being a covert narcissist, it didn’t even cross my mind.  

In fact, I didn’t even know what a Narcissist actually was at this point, let alone the meaning of triangulating.

Becoming a victim to a narcissist triangulation begins with a toxic plan: one person will attack, belittle, abuse and more with the help of an extra party. 

A narcissistic drama triangle can happen to anybody without them actually knowing about it.  

Friends and even your own child can be in the abusive triangle that has been formed by a Narcissist.

The third-party can knowingly, or unknowingly join in on the abusive narcissist’s emotional bullying. 

It is much worse when they know they are only a puppet of control at the hands of a manipulative person.

The narcissist’s tool of madness – triangulation – is a severe mode of alienating people from others that they love.

Triangulation is like driving a wedge between people. This can be done by a narcissistic parent or narcissistic anything. It could be your lover, your spouse, your friend, your boss, your coworker, your neighbour, your grandparent or even the grandparent of your kids.

Dealing with triangulation

For victims of triangulation, learning how to break toxic bonds narcissists have on you

What is emotional triangulation

Gaslighting parents enjoy using toxic triangulation as a manipulative tactic that allows for the control of multiple people.

An extremely delusional, dangerous, and sadistic mind game for a narcissist’s own pleasure.

Obviously, they must have people fight for their approval as every day of their life relies on constant admiration.

Love bombing is a common tactic to lure people in for the long-term, and if you have ever been triangulated you will see this happen to a new partner of your ex spouse.

It’s not easy, but you have to understand that people with a narcissistic personality disorder will not change.

They all have the same narcissistic abuse cycle so stop wasting your time. The need for attention remains the same.

It took me a couple of years to understand how to study narcissists the safest way possible.

gaslighting triangulation

How do you deal with narcissistic triangulation?

In my situation, I was abused by our daughter’s old childcare while a professional manipulator stood back and let them do the dirty work which they were knowingly, or unknowingly doing.

It all depends on how you look at it, personality disorders seem to roll together like a cult.

Be aware if you see sociopath traits.

I was confused about how we started on such great terms…I found out they were only stringing me along with their reference letters:

triangulated letter

This love-bomb stage did not last long as my daughter had marks on her after picking her up several times.

The daycare protected the Mother and said these marks are from her playing with other children.

I immediately requested injury reports and my daughter’s file, but they would give me old and fake documents.

I served them with court papers to get the documents. This turned them into the people they really were.

They call the Ministry on me claiming I “hit” London, I smelt like weed and alcohol, and I am not able to care for the child properly.

Narcissistic abuse syndrome was hitting me hard at this point.

The destructive Sociopath traits were starting to make sense.

Malicious false accusations to push me out of the picture, all as a narcissistic Mother stands back with a smile.

I quickly do a visit with the Ministry and close the file.

Now that the flying monkeys of my ex-spouse have caused damage, she decides to let me know that I am not allowed at the daycare anymore.

Attempting to push me out of the picture with clever parental alienation, and even making her own rules disregarding our court order.   

Yup, a professional at how to triangulate without a sweat.

Unfortunately for these ladies, I would be showing up for my daughter every time. 

My daughter expects me to come regardless of being triangulated by narcissists.

With that being said, I also had a lot more respect in the court as a Father.

I wasn’t buying her new rules.

Obviously, I knew the games that were being played on our daughter. I also knew that they didn’t want to see my face too much longer.

However, that wasn’t my problem.

Breaking free from narcissistic traits

We were kicked out of the daycare and my daughter’s bright smile at her new caretakers is what made it all worth it.

Triangulation in narcissism is extremely dangerous, learning how to outplay a narcissist was a skill I learned the hard way.

A life saving gray rock method from this point on kept me sane but a long journey for narcissistic abuse recovery was ahead of me

Thankfully, my plan worked

A Narcissist can manipulate anybody into believing their lies.

My daughter didn’t have her diaper changed all day when I went to pick her up, and they also made numerous false allegations to keep me from her.

I inflicted narcissistic injury, but that quickly put me back to another battle down the road

Toxic triangulation

In a toxic narcissistic triangulation, a covert narcissist has common family roles that are given out to each family member.

More often than not, the person chosen to be the scapegoat is the most empathetic one in the family.


Because being the most caring and empathetic person in the family reminds the Narcissist exactly of themselves.

Nobody listened to them either.

A family scapegoat is the one that will call the narcissistic parent out on their abusive acts and understands how to crush a narcissist.

Ultimately, this sets them apart from all the sheep in the family that follow the lead of the Narcissist.


Triangulation and narcissistic victim syndrome

Bullying the bully, because everybody else is afraid to say a word against the boss.

Everybody in this dysfunctional family triangulation knows that stepping up to the Narcissist is a big no-no.

The scapegoat will be discarded by narcissist and grow into their adulthood believing they are always to blame.

This causes years of mental abuse leading to destructive relationships as grown-ups from constantly being walked all over by people thinking it is normal.

a narcissistic golden child will take great pleasure in supporting a Narcissist in destroying the family scapegoat child’s confidence and self-esteem.


because unlike the former family scapegoat, a golden child has the delusional personality of the Narcissist.

Nobody knows why there is a vast difference in personalities in this narcissistic relationship.

Personally, I believe this is because the golden child is taught to be entitled as this will give them rewards.

On the other hand, the family scapegoat child was able to see the fake mask above everything else.

This can be common when a parent is separated from the Narcissist but shows positive emotions during their parenting time.

Empathy, love. The one that got away.

It may seem that the golden child has a great childhood regardless of the toxic family triangulation, but the damage to their adult life statistically proves much different.

With that being said, an abuser won’t let their narcissistic supply addiction go so easy

Understanding Narcissists

An enlightening and mesmerising insight into what the narcissist really means. The definitions explained in this book will blow your mind.

triangulate narcissist book

golden child

narcissist triangulation with narcissistic abuse

Your bullies might find out who is the actual abuser, but don’t count on it.

The only thing you can count on is when the third party in the toxic triangulation becomes discarded by the narcissist.

Narcissistic family dynamics remain the same because survivors of a narcissistic sociopath know that you will never be able to fill the void of “good enough” to a delusional parent.

Effects of triangulation and narcissistic parents

  • Being raised by narcissistic parents
  • effects of being raised by a narcissistic parent can prove to be mentally damaging in many ways:
  • Failing to understand the importance of boundaries in relationships
  • Constant searching for external approval in order to feel confident
  • Thinking that the only way to gain other people’s approval and love is by meeting their demands, no matter how high.
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Opposed to an extreme need for affection
  • Poor decision-making skills
  • Difficulty in understanding what is good or bad; positive or negative
  • Fear of failures

Key Characters Of Triangulation

First described by Dr. Stephen Karpman in the late 1960’s, the Drama Triangle roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer and their interplay vividly describe the most common strategies human beings use to manage their fear and anxiety.

In any relationship that a Narcissist is in, it is inevitable that the vicious triangle will always form.

The unfortunate defense mechanism that comes from a bitter childhood of not being “good enough” to their parent(s)

The Victim

  • Unfortunately, a Narcissist can’t mentally process themselves to change their outlook on people, so their delusional state of mind will always play the victim.
  • They insist they don’t deserve all the awful things that life and people have done to them.

The Persecutor

  • someone who is consistently after people to harm and destroy them. In a Narcissist’s world, this is the former spouse.
  • I am positive you have had the unfortunate experience of seeing the narcissistic rage in court on you for no apparent reason.

The Rescuer

  • Believes that they are the superhero, and nobody can survive without them. Generally, this is the new partner of the Narcissist that has discarded you long before you realized it.
  • You weren’t providing enough fuel or meeting their needs so they quietly, “grabbed a new branch” before letting you go.
  • They are unknowingly helping the demon, but will be discarded and left helpless just like you and every other person before you.

The Real Narcissistic Triangulation

Finally, in the real world, we know that the former spouse of the Narcissist is the true victim, and the persecutor is the malicious Mother or Father.

It’s important to note that sometimes the children can be the rescuer in their delusional world.

With that being said, victims of narcissistic abuse symptoms vary for everybody.

Narcissist Parenting takes a lot out of you, and I hope you have the strength to keep your children out of it.

You can only blame yourself for another cycle of abuse passed down in your family tree by a covert narcissist by a heartbreaking narcissistic triangulation


Malicious parent syndrome is a spiteful mental disorder

What is alienated parent syndrome?

Alienated parents that are involved in custody battles know how hard it is to keep a relationship from turning sour because of spiteful parenting alienation in a divorce.

Malicious parent syndrome was formerly known as malicious mother syndrome.

In 1995, Psychologist Ira Daniel Turkat published a research paper in the books of family violence stating malicious acts that came from divorce.

Malicious Parent Syndrome is where the custodial parent, among other things, interferes with the non-custodial parents visitation, manipulates their offspring to hate the other parent.

With that being said, my child’s malicious mother has turned our child against me more than just a couple times.

I have had to look into our daughter’s eyes full of hate towards me no matter what I did. Week after week.

With a week on / week off court agreement, the malicious parent spent every day possible filling our daughter’s innocent and fragile head with negativity.

One parent will use false allegations to stop any visitation rights with your children, using every extra day to force even more hatred towards you.

It is a constant battle of parental alienation syndrome.

Luckily, as our daughter grew older my hard work did pay off as we have an amazing bond together now.

Another symptom is absence of guilt. These children can be very disrespectful and say or do horrible things with absolutely no qualms.

They show a disregard for the parent’s feelings and emotions and it does not bother them at all to do or say these horrible things about one of their parents.

Reverse Parental Alienation

Your children may become confused, conflicted, angry, anxious, or depressed—and you may feel powerless. But there is help.

parent syndrome alienation book

I truly believe my bond with our daughter is even bigger because of an ex-spouse’s malicious mother syndrome.

However, my job has only begun.

Keep in mind, gender has nothing to do with a narcissist. It could easily be husbands or mothers doing these sadistic acts.

Sometimes, families have seen both parents join together to abuse.

As our daughter grows older, I am on a full time duty of protecting her from her Mother who was looking to become an enmeshed parent.

malicious parent alienating child
mental disorder of malicious parent syndrome

What is an enmeshed parent?

There are many different reasons that an alienator would want to cause malicious acts. One of those is to link together to turn the family against you.

Thankfully, our daughter chose to not join the team.

Unfortunately, the emotional abuse will still continue as the Mother expects our daughter to continually anticipate and meet her needs. Click To Tweet

Since visitation interference didn’t go as planned, you better believe the unforgiving behavior from a destructive mental disorder will carry on.

Divorcing fathers and mothers showing spiteful actions will begin to show patterns of abuse.

In our daughter’s case, affection will be cut off if she is not able to please these demands.

Homework? Problems at school? figure it out yourself.

In the public eye, these symptoms don’t show so clearly. People will see the ex-husband or ex-wife as an involved parent.

When that game gets boring to them, they will join and manipulate real victims to paint a picture of you as the abuser.

Guilt will be used for manipulation against the children, and this mental abuse will haunt them into their adult life that will bring unhealthy relationships.

Depression becomes a thing of life as children grow up feeling guilty when they are not able to please everybody around them.

It’s our job to give our seeds that extra affection, love, positivity, and support because without us they have nothing.

All while we are walking on eggshells around a parent that could rage at any moment at our child who is learning to be an adult in her own home.

It’s important to spend every minute with your child so they don’t miss their childhood and continue the family violence down the road.

Protect yourself from malicious actions in court

Is your ex-spouse trying to gain custody of your kids? Has he or she launched a campaign to make you look like a bad parent, both in the eyes of your children and the law? You aren’t alone.

conflict divorce book

What to do when a parent is manipulating a child?

The main thing to do when these malicious acts are happening, is to not panic.

It’s very easy to get angry at the child when negative things are being said.

With that being said, you will only be helping the narcissist with child abuse, and your child will be turned against you even faster.

Here are ways to start building your case in a divorce (the sooner the better)

Keep a child custody journal

  • how much time you’ve had with your child recently
  • Consistently documented twice a week at least
  • any problems you have during drop off or pick up
  • Things your children have said.
  • Honesty is the only way to show a real pattern
  • A child therapist will make your case stronger and keep you on the right track

Get an attorney that understands narcissism

  • Take your time and go with your gut.
  • You will have to go through a couple consultations with different lawyers.
  • A Narcissist will cause hell in the courtroom with lies
  • If you are low on money, represent yourself but be ready to study family law.
  • Read my post of how to destroy a narcissist in court

Never let malicious parent syndrome win

  • Giving up is not an option.
  • You give in to the parent that will gladly ruin your child’s life forever
  • Don’t feel down when you lose a couple court dates. Keep going back.
  • Don’t be a doormat. Sit your child down and only show love when you hear awful things about you.

Finally, I can tell you from experience that the road to co-parent takes time. In the end, it will be just you supporting your children.

Unless it benefits a Narcissist.

I am making sure our daughter is safe even when she’s not with me on my week.

It’s my duty. This is not her fault.

because nobody would believe me over the Narcissist anyway. Right?

Except one person.

A girl who knows how to handle a complex disorder at such a young age. I am proud but I know there is still work ahead for both of us.

Thankfully, our daughter shows me love you couldn’t even imagine.

At last, here is another resource that helped me get through court and prove everything I thought was impossible to prove

A tell-all book exposing corruption in judges and lawyers in courts.

From a real case. Real attorneys. Real greed.

I highly recommend so you can avoid any surprises.

Conflict and Corruption in court

Judges and lawyers are exposed for corruption and doing dirty moves for a “win” in a real court case. Ann appealed, won and releases everything.

divorcing a narcissist book

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Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome | Narcissist meaning

Abuse Syndrome

Narcissist Definition

Realizing that you have narcissistic abuse syndrome, also called narcissistic victim syndrome, and getting support therapy is the hardest, but most important step to your complete healing.

But what is a Narcissist ? gives a list of narcissistic traits:

  • They exaggerate their own smarts, success, power, and looks.
  • The lack of empathy leads them to take advantage of people, with no regrets.
  • Narcissists may be extremely jealous and ultra-sensitive.
  • Because they tend to be very thin-skinned, they may angrily lash out at any criticism or push-back.
  • Narcissists also may lash out when they feel like they’re not getting special treatment.
  •  Underneath all of these traits is a deep sense of insecurity.

The reason narcissistic abuse syndrome symptoms are so hard to grasp is because unlike physical damage, all of the scars and bruises from an abusive relationship don’t always show on a person.

However, it cuts very deep.

With that being said, parental alienation is extremely mentally damaging as many people just can’t wrap their heads around the narcissistic abuse recovery that they just can’t get through.

Abuse will leave you confused and living a painful life of loneliness and pain you are discarded from the person you grew to know and love.

Not understanding the manipulation is a sad way to live, and I bet we all know somebody that is showing common narcissistic abuse symptoms.

narcissistic abuse symptoms

Emotional abuse from narcissistic personality

NAS is a chronic pattern of physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse perpetrated by a pathological narcissist against weak and more vulnerable individuals. Because NAS victims typically lack confidence, self-esteem, and social supports, they are prone to feeling trapped by the perpetrator. 
“Best interest of the child” Section 37 lists the facts that you or a court must think about when you’re deciding what’s in a child’s best interests. 

I can’t even type that sentence without shaking my head. 

Let’s be honest, the actual best interest of the court and all self-involved parents is:

  • Manipulation
  • Control
  • Greed
  • Power

The all-time BEST resources to handle a covert narcissist causing abuse are:

abuse recovery

Aftermath of narcissistic abuse

Numerous false allegations from my ex-spouse and her lawyer and even the daycare as my ex-spouse was able to paint my image without me knowing.

A complex abusive triangle was in my face, which almost put me over the edge. 

Luckily, I was well educated on this nasty personality disorder so I was able to minimize the destruction.

At the time, our daughter had no voice. 

The narcissistic abuse cycle is very unforgiving.

12 false “anonymous” Ministry of Children calls on me to damage my image and relationship. 

I experienced the first narcissistic rage in court, which was frightening, to say the least.

The battle of a narcissistic husband is very much the same because only the court wins in the nasty war of parents.

deal with a narcissist

Recovering from family trauma

At last, I am happy to have put the work in because our daughter was extremely attached to me, there was no way I was leaving without her.

I was clueless to the jealousy beside me. 

Narcissistic parents are malicious in their destruction but I am happy to be able to heal from the narcissistic abuse and help others overcome the covert narcissist traits.

The next couple of years proved to be awful for me as I became a victim of parental alienation:

  • 4 hours a week supervised “visits”
  • A protection order against my child from false allegations
  • Smear campaigns at the daycare with a false image painted of me
  • Several false ministry calls and home visits to brainwash our daughter against me

I wish I had studied narcissistic personality disorder symptoms long before I did.

I opened past childhood wounds by exposing my ex-spouses lies in court, which only put fuel on a fire.

I saw signs of a frightening narcissistic sociopath at this time, I still did not back down.

I am extremely glad our daughter knows who Daddy is.  We share guardianship now with everything 50/50. 

I am always on damage control, but the chaos has only made our daddy-daughter bond much stronger.

Understanding the narcissist meaning of a covert narcissist while trying to cope with narcissistic abuse syndrome has made life a lot more bearable.

narcissistic personality

Sociopath vs Narcissist | Antisocial Personality Disorders

What is the difference between Sociopath and Narcissist?

Sociopath behavior can seem charming and even show empathy.

However, the most common narcissistic traits are:

  • Selfish
  • Manipulative
  • Physical aggressiveness
  • Compulsive lying
  • Reckless disregard of safety for themselves and anybody around them
  • No guilt
  • Lack of empathy
  • Impulsive nature
  • Sense of entitlement

Similarly, with those sociopath traits being very similar to a Psychopath, I prefer the difference between the two which are:

  • Slightly less empathetic
  • Consistently irresponsible in work and family environments

if you think you are seeing common sociopath traits in somebody near you then I highly suggest you get your running shoes on right away.

Sociopathy is very similar to behavior you would also see in an antisocial personality

In the case you are involved in a court battle, I highly recommend you fully understand whether this person is a Psychopath or a Sociopath. 

With that being said, an even more complex situation could put together traits that create a disastrous narcissistic Sociopath.

Antisocial personality disorder is the closest diagnosis to sociopathy. Although movies and television shows may present people with this condition as dangerous sociopaths, people with antisocial personality disorder can lead normal, productive lives.

sociopath traits

What is the definition of a narcissistic sociopath?

The combination of traits in narcissists and sociopaths is an ugly mix of personality disorders.

It’s the person you would never expect it to be.

They are extremely dangerous as they can mimic any trait that is likable depending on the person they want to impress.

Subtle and abusive covert narcissist traits vary between a sociopath vs psychopath. 

However, each will be a manipulation battle against you in family court.

If there is the Ministry of Children and Family Development (MCFD) involvement, you will be defending against your narcissistic spouse’s parental alienation tactics against you.

Which they feel is justified, and their God-given right. Obviously

Unfortunately, narcissistic personality disorder creates manipulative, greedy, and self-entitled parents that will brainwash their children.

This abusive relationship will slowly start damaging a child’s emotional well-being.

An enormous amount of damage to your children’s mental health.

With that being said, you will easily end up continuing the abuse cycle just because you can’t control your emotions.

Third parties begin to side with the former spouse against you in a narcissistic triangulation and don’t bother trying to prove yourself to them in any way.

Learn Sociopath behavior

These master manipulators who have antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders, seem normal at first, but their objective is to use and exploit us.

sociopath behavior

Psychopath Traits

Signs of personality traits in a psychopath are:

  • Unusual thirst for power
  • Secretive
  • Lack of remorse
  • Aggression
  • Bullying
  • Constant look for thrills

Accordingly, female Psychopaths are very intelligent in playing the role of “normal” as a functioning member of society.

Extremely manipulative and reckless risk-takers with no shame or guilt.

sociopath traits

Difference between Sociopath traits and a Psychopath

There is no debate that a Sociopath and a Psychopath both have narcissistic personalities. 

However, not understanding the narcissistic meaning can be very damaging to your mental health.

With that being said, the family life of the court continues to turn a blind eye to every parent that is being manipulative.

As a result, children are used as weapons in a high conflict emotional roller coaster for money money money.  

I am on “damage control” every day to protect my daughter from her narcissistic mother syndrome

Depending on what traits your manipulator has, I have the resources to disengage the child abuse.

Disarming them. 

This will ultimately begin the repair and rebuilding of your mental health, then you will begin to understand the true parental alienation that every judge chooses to ignore.

The Empath and the Narcissist

If You Think You May Be An Empath… Check Out This Empath Survival Guide!
Do you feel like an emotional sponge that collects the emotions of everyone around?
Do you feel stressed and overwhelmed in crowds?
Do you seem to attract emotional abusers?
It looks like you’re an empath.

empathy book

if you need a fast forward and a cheat sheet to get control of your Psychopath vs Sociopath, then I would suggest you get your proper

Rise above and master their minds, no judge will help you stop the subtle child abuse. 

They don’t care.

nobody does but you.

However, if you are dealing with an intense form of the narcissistic personality, continue reading to finally be free from the abuse.

It takes a lot of patience and consistent knowledge, I had to learn myself to pick up a book and protect my daughter from the chaos.

Abusive relationships with narcissism

Psychological abuse involves a person’s attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. It’s in the abuser’s words and actions, as well as their persistence in these behaviors.

After studying about the narcissistic personality disorder when I finally set myself free from my manipulating ex-spouse, I was able to find out how my once love of my life was most definitely a female psychopath.

To be honest, it will never be easy trying to co-parent with a delusional self-involved person.

Although, I now have the tools to protect my mental health and the necessary tools to protect my daughter as well.

It has been three years of struggling chaos with narcissist parenting, the constant need for admiration can be very frustrating.

Examples of Sociopath traits in your family

Do these situations sound familiar?

  • The victim child will be taught to lie and say the abuse did not happen
  • A sociopath for a brother or a sociopath sister will play the victim and always be believed as the victim.
  • They can freely manipulate anybody along the way. This is easily observed by anybody that has dealt with Sociopath vs Psychopath to see the similarities.
  • A sociopath parent will hurt somebody and then pretend they didn’t

When contact is necessary the Gray Rock Method should be used.

This is the safest way to protect your children from narcissistic abuse symptoms in a nasty court battle.

break into the minds of the sadistic people in your life that have no conscience.

antisocial personality

Examples of a Psychopath in your family

  1. A Psychopath Mother will play “Super Mom” when people are around or on social media, but neglects when the crowd is gone.
  1. Children are only looked at as possessions to fill the Mother’s delusional needs.
  • This is the most detrimental to the child’s mental health as their brains are not developed enough to fight the abuse.
  • I am much more at peace to see our child build her mental health through the chaos.

Sociopath vs Psychopath child abuse

For instance, Sociopath vs psychopaths are very similar, they both have key traits with their common antisocial personality disorder.

A sociopath is sometimes able to form close bonds with friends and family, a psychopath is not.

A Sociopath also acts out quickly without planning. This makes it much harder to fit in with their friends and family.

On the other hand, A Psychopath can fit in with an extremely believable mask and this is what makes them so dangerous.

At last, child abuse is running rampant in family court as children are torn from the only people they know, usually at the hands of a sociopath parent. 

Money, power, greed, and control with no regard for children.

Likewise, this is a sharp pain to the gut of the parent mourning the loss of a child who is still alive. 

Who will protect our children if we are protecting them from the people put in power to protect them?

Do we expose a psychopath female? How about a sociopath vs narcissist? It becomes extremely complex.

The system has failed us and family law reform is the elephant in the room that they choose to not see.

Only YOU can keep yourself properly educated.  Understanding how to deal with any disorder can be exhausting. 

I highly suggest reading material that breaks things down and puts them into perspective for you, and there is only a certain way to get your golden narcissist revenge.

Think about it, why would the judges care about your family? Do you think the lawyers care?

Perhaps they wipe their tears with your own money that you feel is beneficial for your family?

Everybody in the court system won’t lose a wink of sleep, and your narcissistic ex-spouse knows this. 

Unfortunately, family court is their playground, and you will become buried in their expectations.

At last, high conflict family cases are bread and butter for the system.  Above all, the best interest of the child right?