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Empathic Narcissist | The mask in a pandemic


False empathy, a mask and COVID-19


It seems like an oxymoron to say, “Empathic Narcissist” but there actually are people that can hold these two traits together.

Does this mean that a Narcissist can hold even the slightest amount of empathy?

That would be going against everything I have talked about.

There absolutely can be, it just depends on what type of empathy the narcissist has.

During a pandemic, a Narcissist can lure you in very easily. Your emotions in a panic will make you believe anything.

With that being said, an empathic narcissist cannot hold any level of love to people around them unless it benefits them.

Even then, you will still get discarded quickly after.

Think about it. We all have something we true and love to a certain point.

Black babies, puppies, dolphins etc. Those are easy feelings for a narcissist to grab.

They might show signs like this to lure you in, because you would think a Narcissist would never have such emotion.

And you haven’t seen somebody act so kind in so long!

Yawn.

And that’s why the poor Empaths are like magnets to a Narcissist. Easy narcissistic supply to feed off of until you get boring, dull and discarded yet again.



A covert narcissist knows
how to play with empathy


If you know anything about narcissistic personalities, you can understand how a covert narcissist would play an empathy role like a champ.

This Narcissist does a heck of a lot of image management, and is usually extremely strategic in how to make their self look virtuous, generous, caring, and loving. This type of Narcissist is aware of their ability to be hurt and wounded, and knows they have some level of early childhood trauma they walk around with.

Dr. Ava Pommerenk

Be aware of being caught in some sort of love-bombing by your Narcissist as they use this pandemic for their own good.

Sometimes it’s hard to not see the ridiculous manipulations that they will use. Children will likely be used as a negotiating tool.

I have to remind myself every day and I constantly catch myself believing my daughter’s Mother on one of her rants. They are too good.

Personally, I fell for the manipulations many times in the past.

However, it feels good to be at a place where I always remember:

A Narcissist will always be a Narcissist

I hope you all stay safe out there.

Worried about handling a Narcissist?

Use the time you are stuck by COVID-19 to build your mental health with online therapy. Or gain exclusive tips that will change your life by clicking below!

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Female narcissist revenge and manipulation

Narcissistic abuse and personality disorders

The hidden scars deep down inside you that nobody wants to hear about is just one of a million reasons to get revenge on a narcissist.

These emotional manipulators seem to have secret techniques to draw you back into their toxic world of narcissist abuse. Click To Tweet

Narcissistic supply is always the goal for any narcissistic personality  They are nothing without it.

Unfortunately, this involves love bombing.


What is love bombing?

Precious and convincing sweet talk or amazing gifts to lure you in

Shortly after, an unexpected massive blow to your self-worth and confidence as they violently devalue and discard you.

The cycle will repeat and victims of the manipulative abuse make people stay in a relationship with the narcissist because they are addicted to the emotional rollercoaster.

female narcissist revenge

Best revenge when divorcing a narcissist

If you are divorcing your partner in court, you are going to need to learn the techniques of emotional manipulators.

The mask of a narcissist might seem obvious to you by now, but don’t think for a second that others will see the same as you.


When rejected, as when you ask for a divorce or fall in love with someone else, your narcissistic soon-to-be-ex will quite possibly get aggressive and downright scary. Narcissists, when they feel unwanted, don’t run away from hurting innocent people, like your children.

Marriage.com


Narcissists will take your power and strength in a mental health fight to the death, you will need to learn how to outplay a narcissist at their own game.

Unfortunately, they won’t break a sweat as they have manipulated lawyers and even judges against you.

The power of a covert narcissist should not be taken lightly.


Revenge on a narcissist in divorce court?

Learn More about the corruption of judges in divorce court and what your ex-spouse’s lawyer will hide from you for a “win” to make you lose everything you have


how to get revenge on a narcissistic sociopath


How to get revenge on a narcissistic Sociopath


It’s no secret that there are many dangerous traits in a narcissistic Sociopath, so you will want to approach getting revenge with care.

Not only do these narcissist demons lack empathy, but they also have the added grandiose self-admiration.

This is a deadly mix of destruction.

You need to get away from these sadistic people and do not try to help them or change them.

With that being said, here are other ways of getting revenge on a narcissistic Sociopath:

  • Ignore them and stay no contact
  • Raise awareness on your experience to help others
  • Live your life and stay busy doing the things you love
  • Be successful
  • Be happy knowing a sociopath couldn’t make you their pathetic victim for life. And they definitely will.


Seeking female narcissist revenge and injury


It is very easy to unknowingly abuse your children at the hands of a female Narcissist that is causing you pain in family court.

You know you are the better parent, and your children should see the demon that you finally exposed.

Narcissist no contact revenge is the first thing on your mind?

The game of learning the tactics for revenge on a narcissist to get even with crushing revenge is a battle you might pull your family into.

Emotions will make you so heartless you won’t even see a child’s emotional pain.

Rightfully so, you might obsessively force feed this to your kids in hopes for your sanity to finally return.

Your intentions might mean well, but over-doing this is extremely damaging to a child.

You are forcing them to pick sides between two people they love. The unfortunate thing is that they still love the narcissistic parent

This will only turn against you as the Narcissist uses you as their puppet to play the “victim” game; painting your picture as the crazy one….again.

This puts you back to square one.

Instead, get the ultimate facts on how to get even with your narcissist and handle manipulation\

Get the untold truth now, and go even further with revenge.

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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery | emotional trauma

What does narcissistic abuse do to you?


Recovering from physical abuse in a relationship is a tough thing to do, to say the least, but have you ever tried to go through narcissistic abuse recovery?

recover from narcissistic abuse


It’s lonely. 

The aftermath of narcissistic abuse will have you running in circles trying to fill emotional voids.

Putting on bandaids on scars you can’t even explain to other people unless they have gone through the same experience.

You will hear the following things said to you, over and over, and will drive you mad as you go through narcissistic abuse recovery:

  • Move on
  • Get over it
  • Man up
  • There’s plenty of better people out there
  • Get out and go have some drinks
  • You’ll be fine

Here’s a fun fact: The people that are saying these statements have not been in the narcissistic abuse cycle by a Narcissist as you have, because all of these statements don’t work on your recovery long term.

They might temporarily make you feel better, but in the long run, feelings after narcissistic abuse will only worsen as you push the feelings deep down inside.

The storm is slowly brewing for the explosion that you may or may not have already experienced.

You don’t feel like yourself.

You have gotten over exes before but it just wasn’t this hard.

The reason?

Being trauma bonded to the narcissist and a couple of drinks with some friends won’t be enough to fix your situation.

If you have a difficult, selfish, and unemotionally available loved one and feel like you have less self-confidence, have less independence, or have given up your family, friends, hobbies, or a career for this person, you may be dealing with narcissistic abuse.

Center for anxiety disorders

abuse recovery

How do you recover from narcissistic abuse?

I have been a victim of narcissistic abuse myself, and it is not easy to recover on your own. 

Luckily, I have my daughter, the main reason for my existence, by my side as I read through different books of narcissism in my journey to find out how to outplay a narcissist.

For years her narcissistic mother was always one step ahead of me, no matter what I did. 

I even got to the point of inflicting narcissistic injury when my emotions got the best of me.

With that being said, plenty of mistakes only made my narcissistic abuse syndrome a lot worse.  Here are 4 ways to get through your narcissistic abuse recovery:

1. Take responsibility

  • Understand what you have been through, and accept the fact you went through it.
  • A Narcissist can play the game well, and you lost.  Don’t dwell on the fact that this person never existed.
  • You are also responsible for your health, and your children’s health as you go through narcissistic abuse recovery.

2. Realizing you aren’t crazy

  • You will come to the realization that you were dealing with a narcissist, but people always end up staying in the crazy mindset
  • Take a minute to let your brain process the fact that you aren’t crazy, and you were being abused
  • Narcissists are very good at playing mind tricks long after the relationship.  This is especially true if you have children, as they will continue the abuse through parental alienation.

3. Getting out of Denial

  • It is normal for you to stalk the Narcissist after the relationship has ended because you still can’t believe it’s over.  
  • This will only slow your recovery because you are putting your brain on the wrong signals, instead of the right pathway of self-care.

Narcissistic triangulation will continue to slow your recovery, as you will obsess on trying to make people see the Narcissist’s true face.  Do not waste your time on this, they will not listen to you.

online therapy

4. Therapy and mental support

  • While friends and family can provide support, it’s best to get a real professional that has studied narcissistic personality disorder.
  • Mental health support is important for narcissistic abuse recovery because of how subtle the abuse can be
  • Online therapy is becoming the newest support group to go to, as it is confidential and can be used in court for any claims of abuse.  Skipping expensive line-ups without leaving your house is the newest bonus as technology rises in our time.
  • Leaving your house can be a struggle, no matter how much abuse you have endured.  It’s important to stay away from any negative people until you are strong enough. 
  • Being hoovered by a Narcissist is also common when trying to recover from narcissistic abuse.

abuse recovery

How do I deal with a Narcissist?

Gaining the knowledge of how to deal with a narcissist is important on your road to recovery. 

I have made mistakes along the way, and I hope you don’t have to.

Study the disorder, and learn how to avoid the abuse in every way possible.  Education is your best friend, and you may find yourself obsessing over your new knowledge.

This is a good thing.

Every piece of information you learn will keep you away from manipulation tactics that have been set up by your Narcissist, who only wants to see you become another victim of narcissistic abuse symptoms.

As you gain knowledge, you will be able to spread the word about the destruction of a narcissistic personality disorder and help others get through the lonely road of a narcissistic abuse recovery through your own negative experience that you turn to a positive.

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Narcissistic mother syndrome | Toxic emotional abuse

What is narcissistic Mother Syndrome?

A narcissistic parent is somebody that has a narcissistic personality disorder, and possessively close to their children in the most damaging ways you can possibly think of. 

Narcissistic mother syndrome is exactly that, and the need for power at the expense of the children is tragic.

Control becomes much more apparent to children when the Father has already been a victim of parental alienation, but in the public eye nobody would ever expect any kind of narcissistic mother abuse.

Children only know a parent to be doing things the right way.  Often at young ages, it is very easy for a child to follow in her footsteps as narcissistic children when they are raised by narcissists.

With that being said, only a few will be able to break the emotional manipulation and not become a victim to the treacherous narcissistic mother control themselves.

I find it hard to sympathize with a Father that left his children because “she was crazy” when I’m on the battlefield protecting my daughter every day.

There has to be somebody to teach them a healthy mindset because each and every second away from the abusive narcissistic Mother syndrome is critical for their mental health.

I can’t say it will be easy, often times you will be abused by narcissistic triangulation who join in on the abuse and cater to the abuse

“What toxic parents all have in common is their inability to provide their children with a safe, nurturing, and loving environment. If they are narcissistically abusive, they are without empathy and sometimes even conscience. This type of ruthless behavior has a damaging impact on our early development as well as the way we navigate the world as adults.”

Shahida Arabi

“Female narcissists do not grow out of their childhood aggression; eerily enough, they evolve into even more effective aggressive behaviors in adulthood, using their manipulative tactics to serve their selfish agendas and to exploit others.”

Thought Catalog

narcissistic mother syndrome

How to protect a child from narcissistic mother syndrome


A major factor in minimizing and ultimately ending the abuse is a ”no contact” with the abuser.  This works great.

How can you be abused if you have no contact with the source of pain?

The problem with cutting off communication in a court dispute means you will have to stop seeing your children. Not only stop seeing your children, but they will also be brainwashed against you.

You might not care, but the abandonment only adds to the problem with these disorders in the future. The narcissistic mother syndrome is not easy to understand when trauma bonding is taking the best of you.

The Gray Rock Method has been the best way to protect my child from an abusive narcissistic mother.

With that being said, narcissistic abuse symptoms vary depending on each situation. Likewise, going no contact is the best way to go if no children are involved. I envy you if you are only protecting yourself from this unfortunate disorder.



Narcissistic Mother syndrome – dealing with a sociopath ex 

If your manipulative former spouse suggests to not go through court, I recommend you do not agree to this

If you are absolutely sure you are dealing with narcissism or any disorder of this level, I highly suggest you do not take this tempting offer.

It’s understandable you want this person to get better.

However, people also forget how cold a Narcissist can be.  If you want your child’s mental health to be stable you need to read this vital information.

With that being said, co-parenting with somebody that has narcissistic mother syndrome is exhausting.

I am now in a comfortable place to share my experiences of what you should do and absolutely should not do.

What if you don’t have a court agreement?


A family must be completely civil towards each other and have a huge amount of trust in each other if an agreement is not through the court.

This is because:

  • The abuser can move far enough away to alienate you.
  • Completely disappear without police enforcement
  • Start a court order in a different province where you don’t exist
  • If you are a Father: a false allegation can have you arrested much easier than if you have an official order. 

The narcissistic mother will go for retroactive child support for any amount, at any time. It is irrelevant to the fact you, ”agreed” to an amount that you paid to her.

The judge could look at that as a ”gift” to them.

Information about your child will be harder to receive as court documents about a child will always be taken into consideration. 

Of course, I will explain further below when it was soon shown to me that court documents won’t even matter in a complex triangulation abuse battle between parents and third parties.

the backlash from narcissistic mother syndrome


The following things will suddenly happen to purposely throw you off: 

  • You are going to see malicious narcissistic rage in court at its highest form.  How dare you ”make them look bad” or ”get what you want” You can prevent the exaggerated rage by not inflicting narcissistic injury
  • You are going to see the person you once knew, and they might even apologize; a relief that the family can finally put themselves back together

If apologies are thrown your way, throw them right back…in a nice way.  There are never good intentions for you when it comes to a Narcissist unless it benefits them of course.

narcissistic mother syndrome

I believe that a narcissistic Mother is just who they are now, and you must accept that fact. They are geniuses at what they do, and I back my statement up even more now. Move on

A narcissistic Mother will get their ”fuel” from an ex-spouse with ease in family court. The child at this point is in a dangerous position. You do not want to fall deep into this sadistic trap of ”parent vs parent” circus at family court.

Rise of shared parenting cases in court with narcissistic mothers

It’s a true fact: shared parenting has been the outcome of more family cases as of late. Unfortunately, the genius and hidden narcissistic personality disorder has once again crashed the party

A narcissistic Mother will use a 50/50 shared agreement against you in a million ways. They have perfected subtle parental alienation to cause damage behind the scenes.

I have had every single narcissistic manipulation against me in court. I will start with the most lethal way as it has ruined too many involved parents, and I myself lost parenting time because of the unforgiving “Ex Parte” order.

narcissistic mother book


How to deal with the ex-parte order in court


I have been a victim of this malicious order myself.  It is highly abused. 

Of course, it will be used by a narcissistic Mother to alienate the other parent as it is a one-sided order that can have you arrested and charged without notice.

These orders by definition are ‘without notice’ orders. This means that your spouse will have no idea that you are going to Court to get an order against them. Many spouses take advantage of this procedure because they know their ex does not know about them and cannot defend against them.

YLaw Blog

You may have this order against you right now.  If you even slightly think you may, don’t contact the ex-spouse. 

With that being said, you must protect yourself from being a victim of such an unconstitutional order. 

Here are the most important things to note :

  • Any female can get this order just by showing any sort of ”fear” to a judge.
  • A judge almost always signs this order.  Why? because a narcissistic Mother is a good actor, but how hard can it really be?
  • If you contact the abuser directly or indirectly in any way you will have a warrant out for your arrest.
  • Don’t bother with your proof until you prove your innocence months later, once released.
  • Get a criminal lawyer immediately.

Further narcissistic Mother syndrome court trouble


Manipulations, tantrums, and childish acts never end.  You must identify your nightmare as it is the only way to protect yourself from completely losing your mind, and ultimately losing your children.

It is best to just get used to the games that will be played to get a rise out of you.  For example:

  • Showing up to drop off the child late
  • Not showing up with the child at drop off at all
  • Court harassment (excessive applications with short notice)
  • Financial abuse
  • False allegations
  • Child care providers may help alienate you from being involved with your children.  This is where I first learned about the complex narcissistic triangulation.  It was not a happy time for myself or my daughter.
  • Daycare will likely side with the abuser, as they have been brainwashed behind your back for a long time.
  • Child care providers will also not follow court orders, regardless of any court order.  They may abuse your child behind closed doors, just because they can.  A circle of applications is what you will find yourself in, as you quietly are pushed out of the duties for your children.
  • Not answering emails, texts, or any message regarding your children

If you are not receiving a response after two emails, texts, or phone calls then stop and file court papers. 

Three or more messages will be turned on you as, ”harassment” and if they have a lawyer they will join in on the bullying.

All these abusive tactics may cause you to wonder how to outplay a narcissist, but it’s important to keep your cool.

Document everything, and gradually rise to a 50/50 agreement.

This will be your time to strike on the abuse, as you will have a footprint as a Father in the system

How to protect your child from narcissistic mother syndrome


Everything mentioned I have personally been through. 

  • False allegations resulting in criminal charges
  • I took a child care provider to court for abuse and neglect
  • alienation was attempted on me from all angles.

You have to make sure to focus on your children’s mental health instead of the other parent, no matter how hard it may be.

It can go sideways very quickly if children do not have the proper path to walk on.

You can only blame yourself if mental issues suddenly come to light as your children grow up, because they won’t tell you that you are hurting them with every word they hear about the narcissistic mother

I made a lot of mistakes on the journey to bring my daughter home, but she is finally home.  After protecting my daughter from all the abusive narcissistic Mother personalities, our bond is so much bigger.

I can finally thank my chosen Narcissist for something.  Just kidding, why would I want to feed the abuse?  I learned a long time ago that my child’s narcissistic Mother will not change. Your female narcissist friend won’t change either.

Patience and understanding of this disorder are crucial for my daughter to learn how to protect herself from her own flesh and blood. 

I was able to do it while she had no voice, and I hope you can take this information and save your children from abuse as well.

You don’t have to do it alone either sign up for online therapy and get your support now!

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Narcissistic Abuse Cycle | Abusive Pattern

The pattern of the narcissistic abuse cycle


A relationship with a Narcissist will begin as the honeymoon phase where you will believe you have found your soulmate.

Unfortunately, the good sex and love-bombing will slowly deplete as the realization comes that you are stuck in a narcissistic abuse cycle.

You will likely have gone through many narcissistic abuse recovery attempts with cycles of abuse before you finally get out of the sadistic spell of denial that has been maliciously planned by your former spouse’s gaslighting.

flower

Promises of a future together, your mutual likes and dislikes and a similar childhood between the two of you might seem like it’s too good to be true. 

Let me be the first to tell you…

It is 

This is all just an image of themselves that is painted perfectly just for you.  It’s all used to lure you in for a big kick in the arse.

It’s not personal.  If it wasn’t you, it would be a picture painted for somebody else’s likes and dislikes.

Unfortunately, you got yourself sucked into the nasty void of a good for nothing Narcissist, didn’t you?

Much like the narcissistic rage cycle that is at the end stages, it’s frightening to see and it all comes together as an abusive pattern.

In my experience, my co-parenting nightmare used many of the same tactics that we shared various things in common such as:

  • Childhood experiences
  • Music
  • Hobbies
  • Starting a family
  • Food

We have nothing in common.  The mask that was put on was played so well, I still have a hard time believing she was able to play such a good game at luring me in with lies.

I eventually took the proper steps on how to deal with narcissism without the backlash.

Having a child was her best way of taking tiny jabs at me for life, and I can tell you she did not want to have a child.  The child is nothing more than a negotiating tool and a source of fuel to keep her going.

If you have a child, I am so sorry. I know people that have children with a narc, and their children are in danger. So, if you have a child and your with a narc, or you’ve been with a narc, Run, run and hide and protect yourself, protect your child because it’s hard enough for the adult that I watched in Youtube to have had this experience but to me I think its the children that I hear more, more and more stories of how their parents turned them into something for the rest of their lives.

Narcissist Abuse Support

With that being said, here are the stages of a narcissistic abuse cycle that comes in every relationship with a Narcissist.

abuse cycle

Idealize stage of narcissistic abuse

The very first stage to becoming a victim of the narcissistic abuse cycle, and it’s very hard to see it at first.  This is especially true depending on the type of narcissist you are dealing with.
Besides love-bombing and great sex, here are some more typical red flags and sayings of being idealized in a toxic relationship:

  • We have so much in common
  • Same aspirations
  • Insecurities
  • You are the most beautiful
  • You are nothing like my exes
  • I got treated badly by my exes as well
  • We are soul mates
  • I don’t know what I would do without you
  • Keep in mind that these do not automatically make yourself in a narcissistic abuse relationship, but these terms will be used on you numerous times.

You will have to take a step back and look at the true intentions of this person.

It’s very easy to believe you have found the one, but it’s a lot harder to recover from the painful experience from narcissistic abuse syndrome

You were picked by this soul-sucking leech because you had empathy and compassion, and a Narcissist needs this on the daily.

It’s important to look at their past victims, the poor exes they talked so badly about might not be so evil.


narcissistic abuse cycle

Devalue stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle


The second stage is when it seems to knock you off guard, and your mind can’t fully understand what is happening.

This is because you are just coming out of the extasy stage of an amazing relationship.

You will be hit hard, but not quite as hard as the next stage.

Devaluing in a relationship can take many different forms so it’s hard to point exactly how it will be done to you.

With that being said, it always starts as a little joke here and there but will then gain momentum and come full swing.

Opening childhood wounds can happen in this stage when you don’t tend to their needs.  Seeking revenge can put you in an even worse bind if you don’t act the proper way.

Nonetheless, here are the common things that will happen in the devalue stage:

  • belittling
  • criticizing
  • sex comes to a halt
  • blame game
  • everything you do irritates them
  • things you used to enjoy they hate
  • attention and admiration is gone
  • not invited to events
  • they become cold and distant

These will all come slowly, and you will be hesitant to react to it.

By now, they have already brainwashed you into thinking this is normal and/or it is because of something you have done.

The final, coldest stage of them all is up next

discard

Discard in the narcissistic abuse cycle


The final stage in this toxic relationship cycle is when you are discarded by the Narcissist.  Thrown out.  Ditched

Erased.

You will suddenly be tossed away like you never existed, and this is the part that some people don’t even recover from.

Why?

Because of the emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs your brain just can’t understand the concept of reality.

You will be begging for them back because you thought that they were the only one for you.

abuse cycle

Unfortunately, they are long gone.

They were over you a while ago, and you are now at the perfect place for the Narcissist..on your hands and knees as they have already jumped onto their next victim for narcissistic supply.

They are bored with you, and you have given them all that they needed.

It was never about you, it has always been about them.

At last, here are the common things to see in a cold discard in a narcissistic abuse cycle:

  • lying about having a new boyfriend/girlfriend
  • abusive triangulation
  • showing off their new supply
  • smear campaigns against you
  • hiding their phone messages
  • silent treatment
  • the mask completely comes off showing you who they are
  • parental alienation

Being discarded is one of the coldest moments you will likely experience in your life, and it can change you for the worst or the better.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t even realize that they were abused and don’t ever end up recovering.

Narcissistic abuse recovery


Recovering from a narcissistic abuse cycle is not easy, and the scars can be so subtle that your friends and family might shrug you off.

People will be sick of hearing you talk about it to the point you will once again start thinking you are going crazy.

This means the Narcissist still has a stronghold on your mental health.

It’s better to recover now instead of later because I have seen the strongest minds fall to this torture.

The best thing to realize is that it happened to you because of the empathy you have.  Don’t let a Narcissist take this from you.

Instead, kill them with kindness.

Let them go, they are dead to you as you are to them.  Every moment you think about them, think about the real person they are and turn it into a positive.

I guarantee with a little practice you will never fall victim to another Narcissist, and your next partner will be the one you imagined once upon a time…

Instead, they will be the real thing.

I know it will be tough to love again, but take it slow.  Take your time and observe people so you never get caught in the narcissistic abuse cycle again.
Over time you will be back to yourself and become picky about who treats you like you should be treated.

Don’t stay in denial.  Spread the word about your experiences and be happy you got away because the trails of victims from a Narcissist is heartbreaking.

What doesn’t kill you makes you 1000x times stronger.

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Narcissistic parenting | Codependency symptoms

Narcissistic Mother and subtle possessive abuse

First, if you are engaged with the all-mighty entitlement of an adult child AKA narcissistic parenting, you are in for an emotional roller coaster with codependency.

The first step in getting things back on track is to understand the meaning of a codependent relationship. Experts say it’s a pattern of behavior in which you find yourself dependent on approval from someone else for your self-worth and identity.

WebMD

Self-involvement is all over a shared parenting custody agreement so be ready for extra power trips and temper tantrums.

With that being said, the faster you realize you are the only one that loves your own children, the better off your whole family is.

Malicious ex-spouse manipulations will go to every degree of fake love, and even though you unmasked the demon for your own peace of mind, you better believe your children are already entangled in an abusive cycle.

Although, if they aren’t already… they are really close as to be the new source of narcissistic supply.

Abusive traits end up with the children

In my personal experience with a narcissistic mother, our daughter became a punching bag and a “chore” shortly after I decided to outplay the narcissist right back at her

I was not feeding the usual supply that was being pulled out of me all those years.

Narcissistic rage in court caused the mask of fake love to come off, but our daughter still wouldn’t and couldn’t accept the fact her loving Mother is just not so loving anymore.

Be prepared for this with narcissist parenting as it happens very quickly.

 

Subtle abuse on children of narcissistic parents


Unfortunately, I unknowingly inflicted injury from tragic childhood memories in a narc parent to uncover all the lies that were said about me to keep me from our daughter. 

Secondly, if you are in a court-ordered split “guardianship” (custody) agreement, don’t think for a second those orders will always be followed or even enforced.

Delusional mindsets in the world of a codependent narcissist is not easy for anybody in the line of fire.

Walking on eggshells is a given and also involves you doing your homework on naturally letting your ex-spouse know your boundaries, without actually letting them know. 

If you don’t do this properly it could leave you with an abuse syndrome, and recovering from this is extremely hard to do.

webmmasters

It is common see a narcissistic mother do the follow things:

  • Paint a bad image of you at the children’s school and/or daycare move 
  • Stop you from receiving injury reports about the child, and information about people who are authorized to pick up the child.

These two things often go unnoticed until you actually try to receive these reports.

A shared agreement in court will do nothing for you, as daycare and schools are protected when the narcissistic parent claims it is a “safety” issue for themselves and the child.

Furthermore, narcissistic mother symptoms will show with a smark while manipulating the children by:

  • not involve you in children’s activities (swimming lessons, dance class etc)
  • brainwash the child to dislike any activities you do with them
  • have the child call a new partner “mommy” or “daddy” as a way to alienate you
  • refuse to drop children off as per a court order.  A common “victim” and “fearful” tactic will always be used.
  • Create a narcissistic triangulation against you

This may ring a bell for quite a lot of people:

The children were frightened to go to their Fathers house, I made a decision on the fact that they were scared and I have to protect the children

This will quickly open a ministry file that must be investigated. 

Chances are likely you will have lost time with your children until the file is closed which can take many months. 

They love to take their time because every second will count when parental alienation has been initiated

With that being said, a common tactic with narcissist parenting is to keep you away from your children. 

Ultimately, this will drive you mentally to crazy town; a destination your ex-spouse, her lawyer, and social workers from MCFD wait patiently on your arrival. 

You will be called crazy and unfit to parent even to the point of believing it yourself.  

online therapy

How to deal with narcissistic parents


It is virtually impossible to truly co-parent with someone who has no understanding of teamwork. Instead, you need to focus on co-parenting in spite of a narcissist, with an emphasis on insulating yourself and your children from the narcissist’s manipulation and rage.

Amy Guertin Licensed Counselor

Indeed, the best way to co-parent with a Narcissist is with the Gray Rock Method. 

From my experience, it has minimized a lot of abuse on our daughter that I unknowingly fed into.

Your number one priority should be your children. 

Now that your ex-spouse’s true self has been revealed to you, it’s time to protect your children from the abuse as well. 

If you are not careful, your child will continue the cycle of being raised by narcissists; you will be part of the growing problem instead of the solution

Narcissist parenting and their child abuse can be extremely subtle and even turned onto the protector, rather than the abuser. 

These are common sociopath traits.

I have been to court with too many applications only to have it turned around and suddenly I am on the defence. 

Don’t waste your time on a system that will ignore child abuse and mental disorders for the greed of money and control.

How to overcome codependency symptoms


I ignored a lot of the bad talk I heard about me from my ex-spouse, but my daughter was fed a lot of lies and heard nothing from me. 

I figured this was the best thing to do. However, she started to not believe certain things I told her.

My daughter told me her mother doesn’t smoke because “good people don’t smoke” and as petty as it might sound, I insisted that her Mother smokes and she didn’t still believe a word I said. 

This is frustrating, as I realized my daughter is following her Mother’s footsteps.  Not on my watch.

When I dropped her off I was sure to drive by the pillar her Mother quickly smokes by before picking up our daughter. 

The look on my daughter’s face was priceless, and she believes every word I say now.  It is important to understand the manipulation of Sociopath traits because you could very well be doing the wrong things in the world of narcissist parenting.

With that being said, here are ways to protect your children from the sadistic delusions and the unforgiving abuse:

  • You cannot ignore the abusive parent’s actions and words against you. 
  • Don’t bash the other parent, but you have to find a way to make them see the manipulations and fake love.
  • Show empathy to everybody. 
  • Hold doors open for people, throw that homeless person some change. 
  • You will be amazed at how much your children follow the good feeling of empathy.
  • Listen to your children.  Everything.  Children talk in short sentences and sometimes they just want somebody to listen to them.

At last, nobody wants to co-parent with a Narcissist. 

However, in order for us to create a better world and have our children grow up and be the best parents they can be, we have to sacrifice every ounce of energy for them. 

In my opinion, narcissistic parenting is not the greatest journey. However, regardless of a codependent narcissist’s actions, the smile on my daughter every time she comes to me is worth it. Never give up.

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Trauma bonding with a Narcissist | toxic abusive relationships

What does trauma bonding with a narcissist mean?


Emotional abuse is extremely hard to grasp when you are stuck in a toxic cycle of fake love when trauma bonding with a narcissist. 

It could be right in your face but you will still deny it no matter how much of an abusive triangle you are in.

Even if you are looking at it from outside the abusive relationship, it is unlikely you will understand somebody’s painful experience with a covert narcissist.

Becoming trauma bonded is complicated as you are held hostage to a Narcissist’s sadistic control of you. 

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are known to pull trauma bonding off like nobody’s business.

trauma bonding

Ultimately, you will crave the highs of the emotional roller coaster that will leave you with lonely illness

Recovery will seem next to impossible to achieve once you are in too deep.
In fact, delusions will begin to set in your mind that you are the actual abuser and not the victim. 

You won’t admit that you feel you would be nothing without them.


Bonding grows with spending time together, living together, eating together, making love together, having children together, and being together during stress or difficulty. Bad times bond people as strongly as good times, perhaps more so.
AbuseAndRelationships


         

Picturing a life without them gives you the shivers, doesn’t it?  A frightening feeling you just don’t want to have.

Walking on eggshells is common for you now, it’s not a big deal to just keep them happy.

Being alone from them is something you choose to avoid.

Unfortunately, you are more alone with them than without them.  Think about it. 

You are in love with a person you think is that person.  However, this is only a hallucination from the constant mental abuse you receive.

You are trapped in a sadistic spell played by the Narcissist, and it has been maliciously planned against you for a long time. 

You were chosen by them for a reason, they were jealous of your self-esteem.

Don’t let them continue to batter your self-worth and make you forget who you really are.

You will only become another casualty.  Do a little research, you will see there are only victims in their past as they are not capable of truly loving another person.

trauma bonding

What is narcissistic victim syndrome?

You can spend all day reading about narcissism and be completely on the wrong track.

There’s simply not enough noise about it for a doctor to actually diagnose you.

With that being said, there’s also too much noise from people that have no idea what it actually means to be triangularly abused by a Narcissist.

Also known as narcissistic abuse syndrome, common symptoms of narcissistic victim syndrome include the following:

  • Feeling worthless
  • unable to trust people you are usually able to (parents, family members)
  • idealizing the Narcissist
  • Making excuses for abusive actions by the Narcissist
  • Feeling alone
  • Unable to perform regular duties
  • questioning yourself

Narcissistic abuse syndrome exhibits many of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), to include:

  • Intrusive thoughts or memories
  • Physical and emotional reactions to reminders of the trauma
  • Nightmares and flashbacks (feeling as if the event is happening again)
  • Avoidance thoughts, people or situations associated with the trauma
  • Negative thoughts about self and world, cynical about people in general
  • Blaming self for the trauma, often distorted that does not make sense
  • Sense of detachment or isolation from other people
  • Difficulty concentrating and, or sleeping

Why does narcissistic trauma bonding occur?


It is a subtle and abusive way for a Narcissist to control their victim, without getting caught.

We all know that exposure is something that would create shame, and this is something that they will go to no end to prevent.

Think twice before exposing your Narcissist, as it will bring out uncontrollable rage.  I learned the hard way, so maybe you don’t have to.

This is also important when children are involved because if they can’t get to you, you better believe they are their next target.

You might think that they love their children, so they wouldn’t do something to harm their own flesh and blood.  You have seen the love yourself so it’s real.

Wrong.

A child is nothing more than a negotiating tool and a way to make themselves look like a super parent on social media.

However, with the doors closed and nobody watching it is nothing but neglect and emotional abuse by these malicious parents

The children can also believe this is completely normal, so they will not talk about it.

Children are not safe from the trauma bonding themselves, and it will affect them for the rest of their life.

How to get help for trauma bonding with a narcissist


Getting help for narcissistic abuse is not as easy because it involves a lot of patience, setting boundaries, and much more.

You will need support from the people around you.  While this is important, it is a very lonely recovery.

People will actually get sick of hearing your same sad stories, simply because a Narcissist can make you look like a cry baby.

They have tools in their belts that you have no chance against.  You don’t want the abusive tools they have, you don’t want anything they hold.

They may seem like the confident type, happy and even outgoing when you see them.  However, they hate themselves every day. 

That’s why you were chosen, they didn’t like the way you handle yourself.

They live a life with a mask that is extremely exhausting to put on each and every day.  It is a full-time job to do the destruction they cause.

Teaming up with online therapy, we have helped numerous people get back to themselves. 

it used to be a struggle to get people to go and receive help.
This is understandable because victims tend to stay in their homes, trapped from abusive manipulation and unable to go out in the public.

This all changed when I sent people to online therapy, where they are currently getting help, and progressing from the comfort of their own home. 

Awesome!

Don’t feel shame, it’s hard to cope with something that is so hard to see from the average person. 

Take the experience of dealing with these sick and twisted demons and turn it to a positive.

After a couple of sessions, you will finally start to see your recovery.  The keyword is, “start” because it doesn’t happen overnight. 

However, at least you will finally understand that you are not the problem.